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Attachment Style and TMS

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Laudisco, Feb 12, 2015.

  1. Laudisco

    Laudisco Well known member

    I've been reading and learning more about attachment style in the last few months, and I've found it fascinating. I also feel there could be many correlations between attachment style and TMS, as mentioned in Dr James Alexander's book 'The Hidden Psychology of Pain'.

    I read the book 'Attached' by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller which was very enlightening for me. Here is an excerpt from the 'About' page on their website:

    "Also central to the science of attachment is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship is embedded in our genes; so, contrary to what many relationship experts today may tell us about the importance of remaining emotionally “self-sufficient”, attachment research shows us that our need to be close to our partner is essential. That, in fact, we can’t live without it." Source: http://www.attachedthebook.com/about-the-book/

    Personally I am fairly certain that I have an Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style, which leads to higher anxiety and a fear of abandonment. What also intrigued me was how Anxious types are often drawn to Avoidant people, who actually trigger their insecurities and perpetuate the pattern. I realised this creates a lot of tension for me, which manifests as back/shoulder pain, nerve pain, and fatigue, among other things.

    Do you know what your attachment style is? How do you think it has contributed to your TMS symptoms?
    Forest, lexylucy and IrishSceptic like this.
  2. Laudisco

    Laudisco Well known member

    You can also take a test to find out your attachment style, although the internet quizzes only give you an approximate idea. It's better to read the book so you can understand the theory more thoroughly.

    Online Quiz: Attachment Styles and Close Relationships
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    I read somewhere that you have nerve pain, that is my issue also I have it in my legs and feet mainly sometimes in my hands I read u where on meds. My question is are they helping with the pain. At the moment I am not able to keep my pain under control.
  4. Barb M.

    Barb M. Peer Supporter

    I took the online test and it says I have a secure attachment style, but I've been married for 26 years and have a great relationship, and I answered the questions with him in mind. I am interested in the book, so thanks for sharing. I'm a very anxious person overall and have always worried about what others think about me, etc.
    Laudisco likes this.
  5. Laudisco

    Laudisco Well known member

    Thanks for sharing that Barb! Yeah, being in a secure relationship can certainly change a person's attachment style over time. :)


    Boston Redsox, I take two Lyrica (Pregabalin) 25mg tablets in the morning and evening, as well as one Endep (Amitriptyline) 10mg tablet in the evening, and I also take two Panadol Osteo (Paracetamol) 665mg tablets in the morning and evening. They keep the pain under control mostly, except when I get really stressed or very cold. Thankfully the temperature doesn't get too cold where I live, but it would be harder in other places.

    I plan to gradually wean myself off these medications as my TMS symptoms improve, although my nerve pain has not yet improved enough for me to stop taking them.
  6. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I was on most of those, at the moment I am on 12oo mg of gabapentin which just keeps my nerve pain at bay and 10 mg of lexapro. I have been battling severe depression and anxiety. I am not ready to stop yet until i can further strengthen my tms practice and belief. I have no structural or orangic issues was check out by my md. I got some great advice from Steve O last night, but it was hadrd to except is comment that the pain is my friend. I understand the underlined meaning. But God it does not feel like it.

    Going threw a divorce/seperation from my wife of 20 years…last 10 have been awful, but you stay together for your kids and I know that caused more damage to both of us. But I am going to bad anxiety excepting the fact I am going to go threw this alone…( But not really plenty of supportive family around), but without her, its causing massive separation anxiety issues for me that increase pain….aI also have a bad weather trigger today its 7 degrees with a lot of snow coming. Again thx for sharing Laudisco, I would like to continue this if you have more to talk about.

  7. Laudisco

    Laudisco Well known member

    Sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time Marco! I'm glad you can find some help and support on this website. Thinking of you, and all the best with your journey towards full healing and recovery.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  8. Birdie

    Birdie Peer Supporter

    Hi Laudisco, I am pretty sure that the kind of attachment style can contribute to TMS symptoms. Even though a person with a secure attachment style can experiment severe symptoms that may not be triggered by issues of "cloeseness and distance". I have the anxious-preoccupied style, too. And my husband, probably not a coincidence, is a typical avoider :rolleyes:.
    Abandonment issues were and still are my main TMS-triggers! Left home --> severe symptoms. Pet died --> severe symptoms, only two of many examples :confused:.

    Well, still working on it. But I guess - at least in my case - this will be a life task.
    Laudisco likes this.
  9. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    what an amazing question!!! :) I find this topic fascinating. I just bought that book attached and I am going to listen to it on audio I am excited. I know I have avoidant attachment issues. I have been working on it. Trying to open my heart, ask for it when I need space, let people in more...etc.

    Yes I think TMS totally relates. Right now I have a pain in my head I have been struggling with. I think it is because of a sadness I feel from a relationship I just ended. He was anxious style..I know that dance. I'm happy it's over.

    Great topic - I will say more after i read the book ;)

    ps. Marco - you are NOT alone!!! hang in there :)
    Laudisco likes this.
  10. Laudisco

    Laudisco Well known member

  11. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you so much and same to you…i chalk it up to one of the journeys one must take.
    Laudisco likes this.
  12. Laudisco

    Laudisco Well known member

    Also, I am currently working through a book called "Love Me Don't Leave Me" by Michelle Skeen, which is written for people with insecure (especially anxious) attachment styles. It is chock full of journalling exercises, so it is taking a while to get through it, but it's really useful! It's been a great resource for journalling, since I finished the TMS Structured Education Program.

    You can find out more at the author's website here: Michelle Skeen PsyD

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