Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Tennis Tom, Jun 8, 2015.
It is interesting how the perfectionism issue can be so destructive but in some arenas it is so taboo to discuss "problems" or "issues" thus people suffer in silence which perpetuates the problems further. There is an former NHL hockey player delving into his personal issues in a very public way to show others that anyone can have big problems and how the shame of them can do great damage. He tours now sharing his story and his healing process. He has dealt with addiction, sexual abuse, fame and fortune as a professional athlete and the shame of his demons and how he lost it all only to fight the fight and begin to admit things, face things and heal. He is charismatic and blunt. The forward of his newest book was written by Gabor Mate. I think it is good to see athletes and famous people who are trying to do good things for their mental health, it is all to uncommon to see it tho. I have a link that I will post as soon as I can find it His name is Theo Fleury. His new book Conversations With a Rattlesnake discusses his process of healing , he is candid and open about his life in a way that I wish more were.
as an athlete that became convinced my back was 'f&*ked' I can identify with the struggle. It felt like the rug had been pulled from underneath my life and all the training I had put in to perfect skills/fitness was a total waste of time. my identity was totally wrapped up in sport.
This came at a time I had just started college so rather than having the structure of school to fall back on I was out ' in the wild' so to speak. Add to that I had no team mates any longer as I kinda decided I would have to be 100% free from pain to every play again.
Coupled with very heavy drinking for the next few years along with constant pain I quickly became anxious and depressed about my future, especially considering I didn't have the slightest clue what I wanted out of life and significant self-doubt over whether or not I was good enough. This had featured in my athletic career and I seemed to flourish under managers who really got under my skin and showed some belief in me. This should have been a warning sign!
My attitude to pain was that I wouldn't give in and of course this was a bad idea as the worse the pain got the more anxious and depressed I became.
Then came Sarno and the rest is history!lol
One of the great tips I came across for recovery was don't waste time trying to convince other people in pain to try this out. first focus on yourself and completing the journey out of pain. I am 80% better and now no longer have the FEAR.
I've spentless countless fruitless conversations trying to get people to understand the concept only to met with blank stares.
I could not relate more to your post! I am still not "healed" and I've got a way to go still, so it's reassuring to hear that your 80% better. I was an athlete as well and took on an intense fitness lifestyle after I stopped playing sports in college. (I stopped because I didn't have time, the pain didn't exist yet, and now I regret it a bit!) I was so convinced for the longest time that I tore an abdominal muscle and till now 1 and a half year later, I still sometimes link my pain back to muscular reasoning when it becomes so extreme from movement. However, I am convinced its all TMS as I've suffered other symptoms and still have reoccurring symptoms as well. The idea that I cannot go back to a normal work out routine still upsets me on a daily basis and exacerbates my pain. But how do I break this cycle? I am doing the mind work. I am doing the therapy sessions. I feel like I'm so close to having my big break, but I keep getting setbacks.
Hey man I suggest you read Steve Ozanichs book. it really is a battle to rid yourself once and for all & something I haven't yet got round to doing as the fear built up over so many years from thinking I was damaged has been difficult to overcome. Keep a record of times symptoms appear or disappear.. if they can go away then they are TMS!
Juliet Archdale has a great youtube video, google her!
she describes how she went for a walk alone in the woods and started screaming and shouting!
and her pain just went away
Thank you so much! I will check it out
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I believe it's a lot to do with our powerful body and spirit balance in life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and if we allow one to become too much stronger than the other ( you physically were strong but emotionally you lacked.....there's a general constant fear of losing love in life; especially from self) so in order to balance these two components of you, ( note: the body naturally reacts to your constant fear which of course elicits hormonal response from your constant fight, flight or freeze mode of operation which will cause pain) one will lose physically so one would be forced to work on you emotionally and one address it and is rolling along strong, then you can get your physical back and be a more balanced and healthier person.
Just a theory and thoughts that I've been thinking about and randomly threw them out there. I'm fine being incorrect...but it has helped to keep my mind off my pain.
P.s. there is a lot more to my thoughts than I have written here.
Thanks for posting about the Archdale video. It's great.
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