Are you walking the walk or just talking?

[MatthewNJ]

On Saturday June 29th we had a fabulous Peer chat . Gail made some very thought provoking comments about her journey. The next day Jan and I were chatting on the phone and discussing some of what Gail had shared. We were also discussing some increased symptoms each of us had experienced recently. We were trying to help each other solve them. BTW I highly reccomend reaching out to a TMS friend when you have a down turn. Have a CHAT, just one on one! That is another topic for a different thread. In this peer chat and the subsequent conversation, I thought, "are we walking the walk or talking the talk"? Frequently, I see (in myself as well as others) folks distracting themselves with information gathering, or helping others but not puting that information to work for their own good(talking not walking). that all said, please share your thoughts and see if you can "walk" a bit more and "talk" a bit less!

 

[myg]

That's a great message to help us keep focused. It seems like different people have different ideas of what it means to walk the walk. I like to know what works for different people, so when you say that you are going to focus on walking the walk, what are you going to work on? What sort of things will you be putting effort into?

 

[MatthewNJ]

myg,
For me, first and foremost is being mindful of me. What is going on with me physically and mentally. I have spent enough time on this journey to have plenty of tools to help me (10 years now). I don't need to read any more books looking for the answer ("talking"). I already have the answers. I need to practice them ("walking the walk"). Not that I will stop reading, I am just not going to let it distract me from acting. The rest of the answer is being consistant with doing my yoga, meditation and walking every day. Getting out and making new friends that align with my journey. I do this through the TMS and Yoga communities. Eating a good diet and getting enough sleep (those two are a work in progress. the sleep thing is a challange!). when I feel good, take the time to let that good feeling soak into my nervous system. an example of this, was I awoke with no back pain 2 days in a row and felt great. So instead of listening to the radio or chatting on the phone, I just let myself "feel good" on my 25 minute ride to work. I was really aware of feeling good!

Does that answer your question?

 

[chickenbone]

Matthew, when you say that getting enough sleep is a challenge, did you mean because you don't make enough time for sleep or that you have trouble sleeping? I am curious because I believe that difficulty sleeping is one of my main manifestations of TMS and may be at the bottom of my issues. I am always interested to hear how someone else is handling their sleeping problems.

 

[gailnyc]

Matthew, funnily enough, after Saturday's chat when I said I am done buying books, I have enough damn books, I went out and bought another book! Talking instead of walking! But sometimes people make a book they've read sound SO GOOD, I think maybe this could help me. And some have! So you never know.

 

[MatthewNJ]

Chickenbone, Lately it has been because I am not making enough time. I have had what I believe that was TMS related sleep issues in the past. Part of the "walking the walk" was quitting caffeine, cutting out "screens" ( PC, phone, TV etc) at least an hour before bed and making a bigger effort to get in bed earlier.

 

[gailnyc]

Matthew, I don't know if you have tried meditating before you sleep, but I do an 8-minute breathing exercise (gotten from Andrew Weil) before going to sleep that really helps relax me so I can sleep.

 

[MatthewNJ]

Gail, so do you think you're distracting yourself (talking the talk) by buying the book and reading it? Or do you feel you will find new information in this book that will help you act more on success ("walking")? Please remember I am no way criticizing. I am a recovering goodist and perfectionist and had a small relapse recently (3 days in the hospital with diverticulitis that was absolutely stress induced). Also this is why I posted this in general discussion, not support. I want to get people's juices flowing on this topic and see if we can help each other "walk the walk" more and therefore find more successes.

 

[MatthewNJ]

Gail, I do stretching and yoga to release the days left over tension and I meditate as well. I have no problem falling asleep. I just need to stay at it longer

 

[gailnyc]

Gail, so do you think you're distracting yourself (talking the talk) by buying the book and reading it? Or do you feel you will find new information in this book that will help you act more on success ("walking")? Please remember I am no way criticizing. I am a recovering goodist and perfectionist and had a small relapse recently (3 days in the hospital with diverticulitis that was absolutely stress induced). Also this is why I posted this in general discussion, not support. I want to get people's juices flowing on this topic and see if we can help each other "walk the walk" more and therefore find more successes.

I think I am still looking for clues to my pain and tools for my toolbox. There were elements of Peter Levine's book, Healing Trauma, that I liked, but I found that his focus on the body was too much for me, as I am already too focused on my body. I am hoping the Sedona Method will offer an alternate way of "releasing" trauma from the body.

But I really feel that I have all I need with Claire Weekes and James Alexander. I keep coming back to those books again and again. It's part of my obsessiveness to want MORE.

 

[MatthewNJ]

Gail, I can't argue that for a sec. I totally get that obsessive need. I have a bit of it myself. Like Number 5 in "Short Circuit". If you keep getting drawn back to Weekes and Alexander, than run with them. Do what works for you.

 

[Huckleberry]

Funny as I just posted on a similar thread.

Hands up I'm talking the talk all day long...I'm information gathering, analysing, intellectualising and then standing wide eyed in paralysis at the information overload.

There is zero doubt in my mind that for me this constant need to gather more and more information is a distraction in its own right as all the while I'm researching I'm wallowing in the status quo and allowing my pain to take hold and grow. It is actually borderline madness really and a huge indication that there is something deep in there that I'm afraid to face.

 

[MatthewNJ]

Huckleberry, Isn't it amazing that wherever we are in our journey, we all seem to have many similar experiences? That's what makes Peer chats and support so valuable! thanks for your input!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Great discussion, Matthew - thanks for starting it - and for being there, too, btw :^)

Huckleberry, I can totally relate to the paralysis syndrome. I'm working on that myself - it goes hand-in-hand with procrastination, which is totally based in fear. Last year I purchased what many people recommend as the definitive book on procrastination: The Now Habit, by Neil Fiore - and I can't get past the first chapter. Not because it isn't well-written (it is) or because he doesn't know what he's talking about (he definitely does). Need I go on? I'm sure everyone reading this already recognizes the supreme irony.

In my case, that's the book I need to read - but I have allowed myself to become distracted with other more "fun" books and programs, as well as life crises. The other books certainly have value, but as Matthew points out, they allow me to not be mindful. I've also been neglectful of the forum and the chat, and slipping into bad old mindless habits... and wham! two weeks ago, I experienced sudden extreme back pain - a brand-new symptom.

The universe has given me a message: back to work, Jan!

 

[MatthewNJ]

Jan,
It sounds like you got the message! Thanks for adding to this thread as you helped create it with our discussion!

 

[Stock Trader]

MNJ,
All I do is mindfulness practice during my healing journey and meditate 2x a day (walking the walk). I notice (anything in mind) without judging and reacting to it, I accept it just as it is (looking at it, listening to it and learning what is trying to tell me for 15 sec.), and I choose to let it go. I visualize my self sitting at a beach in Cancun looking at the sky, the blue sky as my mind and the white clouds as my thoughts and emotions flowing side to side.

Anything else I should be doing based on your recovery experience? Should I do more for my recovery?

 

[MatthewNJ]

ST,

Based on my recovery experieince, I think you've got it down! One thing I have seen in myself and others is we sometimes miss new or increased symptoms. If symptoms increase, increase the practices you have been successful with to alleviate them. Otherwise a relapse is waiting. I missed this recently. the stressors in my life increased and were unavaoidable. When I did notice the increased symptoms, I increased my yoga and meditation. But alas, a bit too late and ended up in the hospital with divirticulitis. Needless to say it was a good lesson and a wake up call. I have not only increased the amount of yoga and mediation I do, I intend to stay at that level on an ongoing basis. The treatment of TMS is a very personalized journey. We each need to try different things. Keep what works, and set the other things aside.