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Are my actions counterproductive...

speedysel

speedysel

Peer Supporter
I need some help from experienced TMS conquerors! Have been fighting with extreme muscular problems for 5 years now with various other extreme symptoms...we all seem to know what this is like. I am not getting any further with my TMS fight though...in fact some days it is just ridiculous the way my muscles tense up. The question is "AM I BEING COUNTERPRODUCTIVE IN MY ACTIONS"? Concretely....I consciously use affirmation, positive thinking, think about my emotions and possible causes, try to deep breathe (although with this is not easy)and am 100% sure that I have TMS and it is the cause for all my symptoms. I continually try different sports, mostly causing extreme muscle tension etc on consequent days/weeks....still I battle on though. Due to muscle weakness on the left hand side of my body and the feeling that i upper body is twisted I also do floor exercises...sit ups etc....some exercises not being possible at all. All my muscles seize up (no healthy pain and then sore muscles) it is more like the whole pelvic region seizes up or upper body and neck/head, or both. Am I shooting myself in the foot and doing the wrong thing by doing strengthening exercises?? I have always been sporty and always did these sort of exercises before extreme TMS so my mind says "This will do you good. You need to be balanced and strong". Am I being lead into dead ends in the TMS labyrinth???? How frustrating! Advice please all you wonderful people out there.
 
Hi speedysel,

First I want to point out how your post is full of words like "conquerors", "fighting", "fight", "battle". There is a saying that what we fight gets stronger, and what we resist persists. TMS recovery is not a battle. It is more about letting go and acceptance. This is difficult for those of us with TMS personalities.

The best way I know to start your journey toward good health is to do one of the structured educational programs (SEP) that are available. There is a free one here on this site. It lays out the steps you need to take one day at a time so it's not so overwhelming. I did Schubiner's program in the book Unlearn Your Pain, which is also good. I also suggest that you read Alan Gordon's Recovery Program, also free on this site.

And keep reading TMS books, or listen to them on audio (Sarno's Healing Back Pain is great on audio). Let the knowledge seep in and change your thinking. Be patient, as for many of us it can take awhile to see results. Mostly, be good to yourself. Ease up. Find a way to do some exercise that brings you some enjoyment.

Glad to have you join us here on the Forum. Please keep us posted on how you're doing and feel free to ask questions any time. We are here to support you.

Best wishes...
 
Oh dear Ellen....I didn´t realise at all. Thanks for pointing this out....I obviously have a massive problem letting go and not "fighting" it.....despite the fact I have read the Sarno books and I have it on audio and listen to it everyday and despite that I have listened to Alan´s Recovery Program and despite that I´ve done almost everything you´ve listed above. I obviously just haven´t got it yet(otherwise I probably wouldn´t have used the words above you´re right) and this is definitely a good reason why it´s taken me so long and why I haven´t seen any progress. I thought I was easing up on myself but obviously I just wasn´t or wasn´t enough..

I haven´t been able to find any exercise that brings me enjoyment and my body doesn´t seem to react to which I´m sure would help me.

Thanks for this valuable feedback. I really think this problem of "accepting and letting go" is detrimental. My mind certainly can´t get its grips around accepting something that has caused havoc in my body for so many years and it is not my personality at all...I do accept that I have TMS though. Now.... to work on change.....I better go back and watch Alan´s Program again. Unfortunately I can´t get hold of Dr Schubiner´s book over here.

Thx.
 
Hi speedysel! Take your time, you will heal when you are ready. Do nothing to heal, do things that make you joy, deep down you know what to do...
 
Thanks Ales. I understand what you are saying but I´ve tried doing nothing physically and this only made things much much worse and I was very unhappy. Mentally...yes I could definitely work on calming my mind....
 
Oh speedysel, by saying "do nothing to heal" I mean don't run to heal but to run, don't jump to heal but to jump, don't ride a bicycle to heal but to ride a bicycle etc...it's a process, you will heal...
 
My question for you is... do you believe 100% that your symptoms are caused by TMS. Is there a little voice that says in the back of your mind. ... well I am not quite sure.

It takes a 100% belief.
 
I agree with the others totally and especially that it takes 100 percent belief that our symptoms are
not caused by anything structural but are psychological from repressed emotions and/or our perfectionist
and "goodist" personality.

Here are some helpful guides in TMS knowledge and healing: First, a video:

http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/what-to-know-to-heal-from-pain-pt-1.5482/

Then Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS

  1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but its caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does cause real pain too.
  2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or in anxiety then the the blood is restricted from going to your lower back for instance. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain - remember, where theirs no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, The pain stays because of fear and focus to physical organic symptoms and repressions.
  3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from tms healing knowledge causing damage to anyone, it only helps.
  4. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER -- this means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. Tmsers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits,traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks its helping you.
  5. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you wont have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed cause you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.
  6. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear then I feed the pain, If I fear Its impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.
  7. Therefore, physical activity is harmless.If I want to work against the pain I could but its better to lose some of the pain so when I start my life over I=t have to be in pain trying to heal cause facing the repressions and all the other activities that cause the pain and reversing my fear and focus to them then I can heal.
  8. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my bodies ability to heal now. I can move how I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.
  9. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how its hidden -- its illusion, Its fear.
  10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face everyone of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present, in flow.
  11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.
  12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling. The science behind mind-body/tms healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of tms. Tms will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off psychical symptoms and on emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore thus making the tms of no effect. This will in return, give us the cure.
 
Hi Stella, I would impulsively say yes immediately to your question but perhaps the real answer is "I want to believe 100% and I work hard on this belief". But I do do those exercises trying to strengthen especially my left side which seems to be weak, I intuitively do try and stretch all the areas that are hurting. My intuition says to me....no wonder your right side is stronger and tense and you have all this pain when your left side is so weak... you have to work on this. Being a sporty person this makes sense to me. Now on the other side, I believe that TMS has caused the weakness and therefore all the pain and inability to heal....so by doing the exercises am I saying to my mind....there is something structural going on....I didn´t think so but I´ve read that with TMS one shouldn´t trust their intuition. One thing is for sure....I have not recovered which makes me think perhaps you are right.
 
The TMS program has helped me to learn to manage many many of my symptoms from tailbone pain, low back pain, neck pain, asthma, IT band pain, pelvic floor problems, shingles, repetitive stress injuries, knee pain.... oh my the list just goes on and on.

I have boney protrusions on my heels. They have been very painful to the point I had to cut out the back of my shoes. There is a name for it but I have forgotten what it is. They get red and swollen to the point I can't have them touched. As I started the TMSwiki program my heels were not considered by me to be TMS. I felt they were a structural issue. My heels hurt at night when I lay on my back in bed. I walk 4-6 miles each day. When I buy new tennis shoes I immediately cut the back out of the shoes.

As time came to approach the need for new tennis shoes again I "wondered" if they were TMS too. I had my doubts. I did not have doubts about my many other symptoms but this I did, and they continued to hurt even as all my other symptoms declined. I decided to take the plunge. I bought new tennis shoes. I put them on. I walked. My heels hurt. I used all my mental power to talk to myself about them being TMS. Yes, they are TMS. They are another aspect of my many numerous symptoms I manage.

I posted My Story if you would like to know where I come from.

You are on your way speedy. You can do it!
 
Stella...your comment is priceless to me....Your story is very inspiring and I found that I not only can relate to your symptoms but sadly also your description of your mother . I know that everyone who comments and helps gives priceless encouragement and tips and help from their own experience and I am very grateful.
 
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If only our mothers were as perfect as we are! Haha. I've learned that my mother
had migraine headaches and other symptoms and they were caused by lots of TMS repressed emotions.
I thought my childhood was not much fun, but then I began to think about my mother's and that was
ten times worse.
 
Walt you are so right. I think our mothers didn´t necessarily have it easier. They too had parents, a difficult childhood or masses of repressed emotions and do their best. But if you have children then I think it is your responsibility to give your children unconditional love, support and a feeling that every individual is special....that´s what we are built on...a solid foundation one could say....this also builds self confidence, self respect, character strength and respect for others and sets the foundation for the child to be a happy, confident, independent adult. What comes after that is out of our hands to an extent. I can now understand why my mother was the way she was, but I´m not going to excuse her. And one thing is for sure, children do not understand....they just want to be loved and to feel safe!
 
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My Mother has so much emotional pain. Her Father was an alcoholic. Her parents argued all the time. My Mother was an only child. I know of at least one sibling that died during her childhood. My Mother always said, my Father didn't love me but he lived my children. My Mother's Mother was controllong and mean. My Mother has hurt all her life from the rejection of her Father. I love my Mother and I forgive her. She did not know she would cause a life time of pain for her chidren.
 
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