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Anyone else experiencing a post-election effect?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by James59, Jan 28, 2017.

  1. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    The gift of this thread is the unintentional insight it gives us into TMS. Symptoms don't come out of the blue but rather build slowly within us until a tipping point is reached. We need to become very good at spotting (feeling) when our internal state is ramping up.

    Essentially the art of healing involves an ever-greater attunement to this psycho-physio-neurological process in the body and how thoughts ramp this. Basically your TMS is a sign that your thinking is on the gas pedal. Here is a great TMS Red Flag: watch for when your inner dialogue becomes self-referential (I'm sick and tired of this, what about me, why is it always me that has to...resentment, irritability and annoyance typically accompany this) and you start complaining to other people about your lot in life/situation. These are signs that your brain is becoming stressed and is gearing up for the fight/flight response. TMS adores this environment and will come out to play. Get good at observing yourself on this slippery slope and get really good at not sliding in the first place.

    @James59 A great piece of advice courtesy of Rick Hanson is to consider what qualities and attributes you need to nurture in order to navigate hard times. I'm a swimmer with a great love of a post-swim jacuzzi and I realised one day that if my body was capable of feeling strong, supple and sublime after those two gorgeous hours in the pool it was capable of feeling it more often. I anchor to that relaxed state and desire making it a baseline way of being and so I am currently evolving ways of creating this. Whatever the cause of shock or stress in our lives we have to find ways of being so centred and sure that it can't wreck us. As far as my own TMS issues go I find it essential to work with my body first, my mind after, so I hit the pool where others may hit the road, the gym, the pitch or court. Only then am I grounded sufficiently to fully enter into the wise emotional practices such as meditation and contemplation. You sound like a fellow empath and as such it is important that we routinely let go of the various things we absorb over time. That's a whole conversation in itself.

    @JanAtheCPA hey, go easy on yourself. I think you're doing a brilliant job of moderating and I'm sure Forest will agree. I've been involved in two threads in the past that ended up being deleted and I remember well the volatile emotions that surrounded them for many people here. I respect the fact that you acted to prevent this from happening and in so doing you have protected people from unnecessary upset. That's never a bad thing.

    Personally I found @phillyjoe's comment funny and I appreciated @sam908's musing on the benefits of stoicism not the least because my Dad is the quintessential stoic and I love his earthy practicality to bits. Balto made a great point about perspective which his personal experience rendered poignant.

    In the end though I appreciate that Jan is keeping this tight for good reason and in that healing spirit I salute her.
  2. Huckleberry

    Huckleberry Well known member

    ...watch for when your inner dialogue becomes self-referential (I'm sick and tired of this, what about me, why is it always me that has to...resentment, irritability and annoyance typically accompany this) and you start complaining to other people about your lot in life/situation...

    That is my default 24/7 operating system unfortunately. TMS does indeed appear to love self absorption and inward fixation.
    JanAtheCPA, James59 and sam908 like this.
  3. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've endured years of that mental hell-hole so it is from experience that I say you need a circuit-breaker. (It doesn't matter what this is and god alone knows I tried countless things before I found the one thing that works for me.) Those blue waters are my healing sanctuary; I may dive in as Medusa but I emerge as Aphrodite. The transformation can be that marked.

    We all need time out from the roles and responsibilities of our lives. I love being a carer but I have to recognise that rests entirely upon nurturing myself. Once that negative inner voice starts bleating I know it's time to prioritise pool time. All else falls naturally into place.
    mike2014 likes this.
  4. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    I'm the one who has been accused of "trolling", if this board is more concerned with being PC then the TRUTH, that's not a "virtual community" I want to "belong" to. One wo/man's
    "trolling" is another's truth. It's like being called a "racist"--it's a discussion stopper.
    Ryan and sam908 like this.
  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Tom, I believe Jan's intention is to provide a place where folk can discuss psychological aspects and consequences of world events while leaving the politics to one side. I don't think for one moment that everyone on this board is Liberal. I haven't mentioned my political leanings and I have no intention of doing so. It's private and something I will only discuss with family and friends but I think there are many people in the world, irrespective of their political view, who need to step back and cool down. The focus here is on TMS generally and not the things that may be specifically aggravating it. To that end Jan was absolutely right to edit the original post and title and to delete the thread where the politics were explicit.

    It is entirely possible to keep your faith and keep your cool.
    JanAtheCPA and Jacqui9 like this.
  6. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've watched this event unfold and must admit I'm a little taken back and saddened at the same time.

    We've always prized ourselves with being compassionate and empathetic towards others - the use of appropriate language has been fundamental in making this forum strong.

    I understand we all get through trauma and pain in different ways, some with humour etc but just like religion, humour can vary between person to person. Let's be mindful with how we interact with one another.

    I'd say, our strength as a forum, has always been about respecting one another and being non judgemental. It separates us from so many other forums.

    Forest has carried out an exceptional job in maintaining a friendly environment, with a vast body of information.

    Jan, has always been a pillar of compassion, warmth and love to me and countless others. I absolutely adore and love this lady!!

    Tom, I know you've helped so many on the board and you are definitely appreciated by many.

    We are all uniquely different in style, approach and knowledge which is why the forum for the most part works so well.

    The insights from this event shouldn't be dismissed, there's alot to be learned about ourselves and others by observing, without judgement to self or others.

    We are all but human and all perfectly, imperfect. We must learn to love one another, even if it means putting our ego's to rest.

    We're all creatures of the divine and we are all beautifully flawed. Nobody is more important than another here, we are all equal.

    When we fail to realise we aren't one, it's time to take a step back and reconnect with oneself and with life.

    Ultimately, let's keep this board healthy and drama free, in honour of Dr Sarno.

    Lots of warmth, kindness and compassion.

    Let's toast to forgiveness and move forward.
    JanAtheCPA, Ellen, TG957 and 2 others like this.
  7. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Beautiful post Mike, really beautiful.
    God Bless your kind soul.

    Plum x
    JanAtheCPA and mike2014 like this.
  8. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you, Plum. You're a truly remarkable young lady. Bless you my friend.
    JanAtheCPA and plum like this.
  9. MWsunin12

    MWsunin12 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Humor is very subjective in the written word. I've put humor into an email, even to good friends, and had the person take it literally and then I had to explain. So much of humor is in the vocal intonation, which is absent in writing.
    JanAtheCPA, mike2014 and plum like this.
  10. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have been struggling with a surge in pain, spasms and anxiety. In my case, everything came crashing at me: election and aftermath, my partner's stroke and a stressful situation at work that I am required to resolve. There are days when I am overtaken by fear and anxiety and meditation is no longer possible.

    I find solace in running. I noticed long time ago that about 20-30 minutes into physical exercise (yoga or cardio dance or vigorous hike) I start feeling anxious, emotionally uncomfortable and unable to continue. I actually had left a yoga or dance class more than once because the misery was unbearable. Now that I know about TMS, I understand that it is a much needed emotional release, so I continue with my routine, allow tears out and 5-10 minutes later I feel OK.

    My other outlet is going back to the favorite books of my childhood, immersing myself in the feeling of kindness and love that emanates from their pages. One of them is The Little Prince.

    The world seems to be sinking into the horror of hate, much like 100 years ago. My hope is that the mankind will avoid the abyss because of kindness and love still left in us. And that is the message we have to find in our hearts and send out. Although it is very hard to send a message of kindness to the people that are full of anger and hate.

    Peace and love to all.
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2017
    JanAtheCPA, mike2014 and plum like this.
  11. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sweetheart, having been away for a while I didn't know that your partner had suffered a stroke. Part of the reason for my absence is that my Mum had two T.I.A's (mini strokes) last year and is still not 100%. On top of the regular care of my partner and other madness, life has been challenging and so from a place of great empathy I send you my very, very best wishes and assurance that if you take care of yourself, you will be ok. As you mention it's often at the times when we need these practices the most that they fall away. I have come to see how essential they are and how when we can, we must embrace them, even if it is half-arsed and seemingly pointless. It all adds up and serves to replenish us.

    I'm coming out of an insanely stressful period and have made myself a pledge that I will swim at least twice a week. I have had times when I have sat in the jacuzzi and wept, simply yielding the pain and misery to the water. Last week in the pool I saw a friend I'd not seen for a year. He asked me what fun I'd been up to. I lacked the spirit to fake it and he just took my hand and proceeded to tell me silly stories till I was laughing and happy. A small and lovely gesture. These are the feelings and moments to anchor to, beads to loop on our touchstone necklace held deep in the heart. Stories have long been considered healing balms. Sometimes I listen to childhood stories at night and if sleep eludes me, the gentle innocence is always there, waiting to be remembered once more.

    These times will pass.

    Plum x
  12. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

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  13. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    I agree with that and avoid any "politically" construed comments--BUT--if someone says something in that realm, that I disagree with I will rebut it to keep the record straight. If someone's TMS goes out of control by the discussion of newsworthy topics, they should examine why that is. In many parts of the world people can discuss controversial topics like politics, sex and religion without hating the other person or other side--it's called sharing ideas and possibly learning new ones. If you watch the English parliament on PBS, they are very vociferous in their debates. If you watch C-SPAN's coverage of our congress, there's one member speaking at the rostrum to an EMPTY chamber--where are the rest of them?--politiking in their back offices or on the golf course with campaign contributors? Some of the personal messages I've received from members here have been downright insulting and hateful--say it in the general discussion so all can hear it, let it all hang-out, it will help dissipate your TMS.
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2017
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  14. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Hey Tennis Tom, I've been thinking about what you just wrote and I'm not sure of my thoughts on stating ones political opinions on this type of site, as this is a site about TMS pain and I feel people can discuss their symptoms and why they feel they have them without going into whether they are Republicans or Democrats (although I'm Canadian:)) But having said that, there is never room for receiving insulting and hateful messages. That is just wrong and disrespectful. As you said we should be allowed to have opinions without being disparaged for them.
    plum and Tennis Tom like this.
  15. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    So sorry to hear of your Mum's illness and the addition of more stress to your already stressful life. I missed your calm, kind, compassionate wisdom while you were away. Welcome back.
    mike2014, JanAtheCPA and plum like this.
  16. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I am also appreciative of the tone that Forest has set for this Forum, the assistance from Jan in maintaining it, and all the wonderful people who are very supportive and compassionate to others as we all walk this road of recovery. That's why I visit almost daily.

    However, I also feel that learning how to "just say no" to viewing a thread (or anything else that comes into my awareness) that doesn't appear to be helpful in maintaining my health and peace of mind is a useful and necessary part of recovery from TMS. There are bumps in the road, people sometimes say and do stuff that hurts, loved ones suffer, but my health and peace of mind are my responsibility.
    JanAtheCPA and plum like this.
  17. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    I agree with you on all those points Tgirl! I'm loathe to express anything on politics, religion or sex here because I'm in the minority and always come out looking like the bad guy--my sarcasm and humor doesn't appear to translate well over the internets. But, if someone expresses something I have a differing viewpoint on or, says some hateful and derogatory things about the new US President I will rebut. Folks should bare in mind that they may feel depressed about the outcome of the US election, but there are an equal number of people who feel the opposite--the other side of the coin.

    Tgirl, I love Canada and go up there every summer to play in a tennis tournament on Vancouver Island, at the South Cowichan Tennis Club, barefoot on their beautiful grass courts.

    Last edited: Feb 1, 2017
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  18. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Agreed, some sites have "ignore" buttons, that might be a good tool to add here.
  19. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I am sorry you've received hurtful messages. You and I have known each other for a while and had the odd tussle (those good ole tmshelp days) but I respect our differences. Sometimes I want to brain you and am sure you feel the same about me but what the hell.

    I like very much the fact that I have family, friends and acquaintances who span the entire political spectrum. Over time I've enjoyed many discussions with them and as you say it is a good way to learn another's personal reasons for feeling and believing what they do. One of my oldest and dearest friends holds a diametrically opposed opinion to mine but with gentle humour and mindful diplomacy we manage our differences well. I treasure the open discussion and yes, the healthy arguments at times. I guess we all need to find the balance between being our authentic selves and compassionately allowing others the same courtesy. Not always easy, often bruising but such is life. I am of the opinion that adversity is either the making or the breaking of us. We have that choice.

    (I know what you mean about Parliament. The banter can be wickedly hilarious.)
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  20. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    There is an option to ignore individual members on this site. Folk should give it a whirl if there is someone who routinely gets on their nerves.
    Tennis Tom likes this.

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