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Anyone else enjoying Holiday TMS'ing?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by North Star, Dec 26, 2013.

  1. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    You know I'm asking that tongue in cheek, right?

    My symptoms are fired up like a road flare…snapping, red and screaming for attention. I'm so ready for it to settle down! ;) So while I putter around putting the house back in order, I'm listening to Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain…the audio version with the good doctor himself reading it.

    Our holidays weren't that hectic, really. We're pretty low key. But have some pretty significant life changing events….my daughter got engaged (it's a good thing :)) and another job change just around the corner.

    I'm going to figure out a way to Skype with a therapist I think. Having had a fibromyalgia Dx and chronic tendon issues, I know my TMS is of the stubborn variety.

    Anyway. Anyone else experiencing flare ups?
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    No flair ups this year my dear North Star. but I do know what your talking about and its always when others come to visit I know.
    Its almost like we want to have this over by now and it just keeps hanging on. The solution is as you know to keep listening to
    those Sarno Audios you have and Do you practice focusing? I have had success many times while a flair up was coming on
    with Eugene Gendlins Focusing. It could be a benefit, Let me know. You can find it here on the wiki.

    Hey congratulations on your daughters engagement, if your happy that counts for soothing points.:)
    Seeing a therapist in my opinion is never a bad move, they have loads of experience and also its that one on one thing ya know.
    Bless You my Friend- wishing you wellness now.:)
    Msunn likes this.
  3. nancy

    nancy Well known member

    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  4. nancy

    nancy Well known member

    I have had miserable pain through the Christmas season, not really wanting to express it. I just
    pray that you are doing well. I just wish it to be January and than see what takes place then. I just
    loved your post to Erik and his response to you. Congratulations on your daughters engagement!!!
    That is good news as long as you're happy with it! Love to you, Nancy
  5. Dahlia

    Dahlia Well known member

    Yes, North Star, you are not the only one. Even though I think I know what the issues and emotions are and even though I think they are conscious and I have visited them and revisited them. I am totally aware of a great sadness and anxiety but I still get the TMS variety pack of symptoms. It's confusing. I thought that if you were consciously experiencing the painful emotions that the TMS went away. Not fair to have to get both. I just hope I can get to peaceful holidays some day.
  6. Msunn

    Msunn Well known member

    I also relate North Star. I've noticed when I get in stressful situations my symptoms get worse. The holidays can definitely add to that. I guess we all heal at different rates. It's frustrating at times to be in the slow healer group!

    When I meditate and extend compassion to myself I also include others on this forum who share this experience. It helps so much so much to have the support of all of you.

    Wishing us slower healers, (and all others here), continued progress, insights and healing in the new year.
  7. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Holidays and family visits can lead to flare-ups - I think many of us have such a lot of issues with family members. I love my family dearly - but - I have run away to the sun for the xmas season, mostly because I know being away from all their dramas and tantrums will benefit me. I am still healing and need my balance - I can just about deal with my husband, but he is TMS aware!
    Family is great, but there is an awful lot of pressure, expectation, history and emotion - (expressed and repressed!) so I am keeping it to bite-size chunks that I can cope with - maybe a family xmas next year...!
    Lily Rose, Msunn, Ellen and 2 others like this.
  8. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    It's easy to see why holidays like Christmas cause us to feel TMS symptoms. Lots of pressure, from family and friends, and just doing everything expected of us to prepare for the holiday and go through it. It should be a time of reflection and peace, but it's usually anything but.

    All we can do is try our best to find time to relax and relieve our stress and anxiety. Find time for deep breathing and positive affirmations. Find ways to be alone and meditate.

    Pretty soon the new year will be upon us and we'll be in the "January doldrums." Let's hope they're less stressful so we can spend more time slowing down and healing. Bless us all.
  9. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    You made a decision for your new life style , just till you get this sensitization under control.
    I admire your path, You have the bases covered.
    Bless You, You will win.
    hecate105 and North Star like this.
  10. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Its not bad to express your pain dear. If you feel like it write a post of your issues and maybe we can tweak your tools to work better.
    In other words what tools are you currently using that used to help and what tools have you yet to use. Let me know, Bless You nancy:)
    nowtimecoach and North Star like this.
  11. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank You so much Msunn -- you have a very humble spirit. That'll get you a long way in the healing journey and think about this for a Moment, It might not seem like it with the enthusiasm I have mostly but man slow healing is very beneficial and I was a very slow healer. I know now it took me close to a year to get most my life back in order but lets say you become the New wine when you heal slowly, You become that light shining on the Hill. Nothing gets missed -- Not to take anything away from fast healers cause they got the same work.

    Its all about a life change and how we put information into our noggin and also how much of that life has to change so here's to a good year of learning and a good year ahead for healing cause we got this man. :)
    Bless you
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2013
    Msunn likes this.
  12. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    MaryBoz can you tell me your tools for your journey. Maybe your protocol if you don't mind.
    Id love to give you some suggestions, I have many.

    Guys I really believe we need to stay afresh with our tms healing and keep it all new and fresh
    If something starts to get just old and worn then we need to go other routes to stimulate our healing energy right.
    Keep everything anew always and you all will thank me many times over.
    Bless You
    Lily Rose and Msunn like this.
  13. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wow. My cup is overflowing with all the responses. THANK YOU!

    Herbie, I will look into the focus thing. Yesterday, I could barely keep my mind focused for more than a few seconds for my daily meditation time. I finally just got up and got busy. It took me MONTHS to learn how to still my mind and relax and yesterday felt like I was starting all over again.

    MaryBoz, "variety pack"….oh yeah. That made me chuckle. What a good description. I've had different parts of my body shooting off pain. It's just ridiculous. Heartburn. Scar pain. Meh!:hungover:

    Nancy, I'm so sorry it's been a rough patch for you too. I appreciate hearing that it took a year for Herbie's healing to work out. My journey began September 4 when I download Dr. Sarno's book. Honestly, these past few weeks have felt more like I did at the beginning of all this. I was so discouraged the other night I just wanted to bawl. Later, I listened to some cello music and did just that. I felt better then.

    Hecate, family's a complicated affair with us. I have issues with my mother in law. I'm really working on practicing love, acceptance and forgiveness. I do just fine…until she drops in. ;)

    Walt, I was thinking that I needed to use January as my time to "retool" some things in my life. Stop doing some things and start doing others. Beginning with some very practical things like emptying out closets. I'm not a "stuff" person so getting rid of stuff is like a spiritual experience for me. So I'm just going to start there and see where it leads me.

    Msunn, yep…some of us are slower healers. It's sort of like losing weight…this isn't a fad diet and there are not short cuts to a healthy weight. Weight gets put on a pound at a time and it will come off only at a pound at a time. But it's the change that lasts, me thinks. I'm realizing that some of my issues go back farther than I realize.

    I still can't get my mind around childhood stuff laying the foundation. Sarno said he's convinced that growing pains are a TMS manifestation in children and OMGOSH!!!! I remember awakening with TERRIBLE leg pain when I was quite young. I would crawl in bed with mom who would rub my legs until I would fall back asleep. I have vivid memories of that so yeah….there was something in my psych going on.

    Everyone, I just can't begin to tell you all how much the love and support I feel here helps me. I'm grateful for each and everyone of you!
  14. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    North Star,
    Gee, I thought I was going to escape the holiday-induced TMS this year, but Christmas Day I had a flare-up of pain and a migraine. Had to pull out the journal and write till I was able to make the connection between current events and how they triggered my underlying psychological issues, leading to TMS symptoms. It was pretty clear once I put it down on paper. Shortly after that the symptoms dissipated and I went on with my Christmas Day plans and enjoyed myself.

    I'm feeling very empowered by this experience (and each one like it). No more does TMS interfere with my plans. I have tools now that truly work so I can get on living life. dancea

    And thanks to all the wonderful people on this forum for your ongoing support, wisdom, and inspiration.
  15. Dahlia

    Dahlia Well known member

    Well, I've used journaling. Mindfulness (currently reading The Power of Now) . Monitoring my emotions: noticing anxiety and thinking about cause. I am addressing fear directly using methods described by Dr. Shubiner in his article Understanding and Overcoming Fear (Day 36). I have printed that article and plan to work it through more. I continue to read Dr. Sarno. I even talk to my unconscious just before sleep and ask it to communicate with me through dreams - I tell it I want to hear what it has to say in hopes it will not give me pain instead. I've used self-hypnosis extensively over the years and still use it for anxiety or insomnia.

    I'm open and grateful for any other tools you can direct me to.
    Bless you Herbie as well for your caring and support!
  16. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    I concur completely with our wise friend ... he speaks Truth. It is important to give voice, for in giving voice, we diffuse the tension.

    Our guiding Star to the North ... your Goddess aspect is showing :)

    with grace and gratitude,
  17. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is it North Star. Your doing just fine. There will always be days when we just cant seem to get that soothing we need, the objective is to sooth anyway. That's the reason I say it took me a year to heal cause I had to retrain and retrain my mind, my will , my thoughts and my body but I did it over a long period as the year went by and I was so happy with every result and every fallback cause then when id have a sticky day.
    Id learn how to better tune my craft or it would come later in the month but the way was going to be accomplished cause id came to far, I knew the results id achieved and I knew more results were possible so im still growing and learning everyday, taking the time I need to rest off and also enjoy nature. Its all a lesson in life worth living.
    Bless You

    PS - it is the rest of the journey after we have overcome the pain that gives us the enlightenment to control our anxieties and thus control any relapse. Its the journey that makes it all worth it. It was the beginning the middle and the end.
    G.R. and North Star like this.
  18. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    MaryBoz)- Well, I've used journaling. Mindfulness (currently reading The Power of Now).

    Eric)- I love Tolle, Thank You -
    When you journal do you feel a need to do it or do you journal and see what pops up or both? I've had many times I felt the need to journal and then at the beginning id journal to get to understanding the unconscious right. Now I journal if im having one of those " cant get right days" and when I do I always get to the bottom of the unconscious fog by writing down all im learning or going through or loved ones that I have lots of concern for. Ill go in many directions to see what is it that has this blocker up ya know.

    I also do focusing by Eugene Gendlin and that helps. Focusing is when you relax and then instead of not thinking of the pain you actually do think of it without judgement and without fear, even send it love, with your awareness in the area of pain while being calm and in control -- just knowing its there and you ok with it and not angry , you ponder it and then feel it if possible in your mindbody. When you do this often the pain or anxiety will decrease and often dissipate.

    Reframing as in NLP reframing is very good. Its special how we can look at situations and find the best when possible. Now that's the results of reframing, the reason to learn more of the nlp method is it will show you tried and true ways to look at things in a brighter way so you can reframe ok. Its development changed the way science looks at mind body Healing.

    OK you say you've used mindfulness. Do you use it every day? Like twice a day? Are you doing any breathing exercises?

    Id like to add an excerpt from Abraham low here and I hope this will also become a tool for you in time.

    “Pain makes men think. Thinking gives man wisdom; And wisdom confers peace.” Boris Pasternak, Russian author

    “REPLACE INSECURE THOUGHTS WITH SECURE THOUGHTS”[35] JAMAL’S’ COMMENT: I have had racing thoughts. These incessant worries and negative thoughts gave me no rest. They would come rapidly. Sometimes it seemed they would never stop. As I learned the Recovery Method, I found that I could replace insecure thoughts with secure thoughts. As an example, I had a fear that I would lose my job because of depression. That was an insecure thought that hounded me. It was something I thought about a lot.
    When I first had the apprehension, I had nothing to fight it with. Today I can replace the thought with several secure thoughts: (1) my company seldom fires anyone, (2) I might qualify for a pension, (3) I have personal savings that would help, (4) I have already worked for my company successfully for many years and (5) I have job talents other employers could use. When I began to use this tool, it took me a while to find secure thoughts. And after I thought of a secure idea, the insecure thought returned. I became discouraged.
    The leader of the group I attended mentioned that if the insecure thought returns, keep replacing it with a secure thought. Eventually it helped. I heard the others use the tool successfully and I began to use it myself. With many reps, it began to help. A way to use the tool as a project, I found, is to list secure thoughts on a notebook paper. I list things like work skills, friends and insurance programs. I revue the list at times and I try to add to it. ***
    Insecure thoughts can be a symptom of several nervous and psychological disorders. Jamal was somewhat aware of insecure thoughts, for example, A common insecure feeling is that a recurring worry won’t end. The secure thought is that symptoms have a limited duration. Another source of security is that assistance is available to us. There are many doctors and therapists. We may have family or friends. New therapies are created periodically. There are non-profit agencies in many communities that provide help. There are support groups such in many cities. We have resources.

    MaryBoz)- Monitoring my emotions: noticing anxiety and thinking about cause.

    Eric)- This is awareness, keep doing this -- it will be a pillar in your arsenal.
    I have a question? When you do think of the cause do you also think of why you might react negative to that cause?
    The noticing anxiety and thinking about cause mentioned above is also awareness and the way not to repress so that's awesome

    MaryBoz)- I am addressing fear directly using methods described by Dr. Shubiner in his article Understanding and Overcoming Fear (Day 36). I have printed that article and plan to work it through more.

    Eric)- This is facing and very good to keep this tool as pillar number 2 ok.

    MaryBoz)-I continue to read Dr. Sarno.

    Eric)- This is always the First thing to do, like check the Daily reminders on p.82 of healing back pain daily and making sure your in line with his protocol right.

    MaryBoz)- I even talk to my unconscious just before sleep and ask it to communicate with me through dreams - I tell it I want to hear what it has to say in hopes it will not give me pain instead. I've used self-hypnosis extensively over the years and still use it for anxiety or insomnia.

    Eric)- Awesome I love Hypnosis and also the way you tell your mind to show you answers in dreams -- I've done that too with much success.

    Bless You- Write me back
    G.R., Msunn and North Star like this.
  19. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    MaryBoz, What great tools! Thanks for sharing. I've been using pretty much the same tactics. Each afternoon…it used to be nap time because of exhaustion…I lie down and listen to a guided imagery by Dr. Martin Rossman or Jon Kabat Zin. And I'm listening to The Power of Now again. And Dr. Sarno. Just working on reprogramming this ole mind!

    I've also watched "The Secret" a few times and have been paying more attention to the negative stuff coming out of my mouth. I don't fully understand this law of attraction but I absolutely believe that we have created many of the unwelcome dramas in our lives.

    I've been trying to practice the pain welcoming thing but boy that has been a challenge. I woke up today with horrendous tension in my lower back which I've been talking to all day. Meh! One step at a time.

    Herbie - I like the "replacing insecure thoughts with secure thoughts" comment. That's a great tool.

    LilyRose, as always, your sweet comment warms my heart. My Inner Goddess just wants a glass of a good Muscato right now. :)
    Msunn and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  20. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    North Star when I first tried focusing I had a fear of the pain so when I focused I hurt more. I did have to grow into being able to understand this focusing skill. I even wrote and said not to do it about a year ago. Then my dad passed earlier this year and I Had this severe back pain come back on me. I was like ok Im supposed to have all this under control and in that instant it was like a light went on in my mind or a bell rang ya know and I thought about the somatic experiencing id studied and then the Claire Weekes facing and floating and then Eugene Gendlins focusing and I thought what if I just relax and get my mind calm.

    Basically it went like this North Star.

    The first protocol is how I do it now - the second protocol is what I used when I healed from the pain after my father passed
    The third protocol is Eugene Gendlins style and I really like his style but you have to use what works for you as you know. And I back you on your choices dear. Take your time and do what works for you. Bless you

    Focusing is when you relax and then instead of not thinking of the pain you actually do think of it without judgment and without fear, even send it love, with your awareness in the area of pain while being calm and in control -- just knowing its there and you ok with it and not angry , you ponder it and then feel it if possible in your mindbody. When you do this often the pain or anxiety will decrease and often dissipate.

    I started with this one but the above is how I've progressed too-

    Start by just relaxing, then meditate by telling your mind to relax.
    Then tell your face to relax- then the neck and shoulders all the way to your toes.
    Take your time and do this for like 10 minutes.
    Then when your totally relaxed repeat the words, im calm, and feel yourself calm even more.
    Then say silently im relaxed and feel yourself relax more, then say im patient and feel the patience.
    Then say im confident and feel the confidence-
    Then just lie there and feel the calmness in your mindbody for like 2 or 3 minutes.
    At this time when your ready notice your issue or pain- don't try to judge it or make it go away
    just notice its there and don't join to it, just notice it.
    At this time think of a word that might relate to your dis-comfort
    just think and let it become - don't try to rush it.
    When that word is there then think of the word and notice again the dis-comfort.
    Here as you focus back and forth between the feeling and word or
    word and feeling you'll start to notice the tension letting up.
    Just be with this for a few moments till the discomfort dissipates-
    don't try to rush anything, just be.
    This will help you get a better understanding of focusing as you read
    over and over Eugene's method- learn from it each day till its complete-

    Here is Eugene Gendlins Style - Mines above - thanks David B.

    Focusing-Eugene T Gendlin

    1. 1. Clearing a space What I will ask you to do will be silent, just to yourself. Take a moment just to relax. All right—
      now, inside you, I would like you to pay attention inwardly, in your body, perhaps in your stomach or chest. Now see
      what comes there when you ask, "How is my life going? What is the main thing for me right now?" Sense within
      your body. Let the answers come slowly from this sensing. When some concern comes, DO NOT GO INSIDE IT.
      Stand back, say "Yes, that's there. I can feel that, there." Let there be a little space between you and that. Then ask
      what else you feel. Wait again, and sense. Usually there are several things.
      2. Felt sense From among what came, select one personal problem to focus on. DO NOT GO INSIDE IT. Stand back from it.
      Of course, there are many parts to that one thing you are thinking about—too many to think of each one alone. But
      you can feel all of these things together. Pay attention there where you usually feel things, and in there you can get a sense of what all of the problem feels like. Let yourself feel the unclear sense of all of that.
      3. Handle What is the quality of this unclear felt sense? Let a word, a phrase, or an image come up from the felt sense itself. It might be a quality-word, like tight, sticky, scary, stuck, heavy, jumpy, or a phrase, or an image. Stay with the quality of the felt sense till something fits it just right.
      4. Resonating Go back and forth between the felt sense and the word (phrase, or image). Check how they resonate with each other. See if there is a little bodily signal that lets you know there is a fit. To do it, you have to have the felt sense there again, as well as the word.
      Let the felt sense change, if it does, and also the word or picture, until they feel just right in capturing the quality of the felt sense.
      5. Asking Now ask: What is it, about this whole problem, that makes this quality (which you have just named or pictured)?
      Make sure the quality is sensed again, freshly, vividly (not just remembered from before). When it is here again, tap it, touch it, be with it, asking, "What makes the whole problem so ____?" Or you ask, "What is in this sense?"
      If you get a quick answer without a shift in the felt sense, just let that kind of answer go by. Return your attention to your body and freshly find the felt sense again. Then ask it again.
      Be with the felt sense till something comes along with a shift, a slight "give" or release.
      6. Receiving Receive whatever comes with a shift in a friendly way. Stay with it a while, even if it is only a slight release. Whatever comes, this is only one shift; there will be others. You will probably continue after a little while,but stay here for a few moments.
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