As I've dug into the SEP and journaled more about specific memories from childhood, I've discovered this startling insight: My dad was incapable of emotionally expression, tenderness, or presence. As a result, I grew up without much connection or life guidance from him - how to deal with feelings, make friends, dating and relationships... Any deep conversation about anything really. He closed himself off emotionally due to his own childhood trauma, and preferred to have more of an overseeing relationship with his kids. His role was to earn money and be around the house (usually doing his own thing). But not pay much attention to us emotionally or deeply know us. As I see all this, I feel a deep, intense, and very persistent feeling of ache and longing in the center of my chest. My heart burns. I spend time each day focusing on it directly, sending that inner child love. Journaling about memories, etc. I am going once a week to therapy. I talk with my wife about it. I give the attention and love to my two small children that I didn't receive from my dad (that last one feels especially healing). I bring my mind out of TMS obsession loops when it tries to focus on my pain or some other distraction. But, man, that heartache. It's hard to sit with. Honestly, I want it to go away faster, although I don't think I can just "make it go away" without more suppression. Anyone else dealing with or dealt with a dismissive father heartache situation? Hearing about your experience, insights, and growth would sure help. Thank you!