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Any TMS sufferers with strong religious/spiritual beliefs?

Waterbear said:
This has been an interesting thread for me to read. I plan on going back and checking it out again, to really study it. I was actually going to start a similar thread, but looking for advise from the other end.
I think God and religion are a factor in my TMS but a bit on the other end. I'm mad, and a bit confused.

Here's a bit of a background. I was in 9th-10th in my Catholic confirmation class. I could talk about this for a long time but to make it short. They were absolutely terrible people. Two short examples.
I'm 15 years old and the teachers took us into the empty church at night. Every child sat alone in a pew. They did their beside to separate us as much as possible. The church was lit only by a few candles. For the next hour, they described in graphic detail the torments of hell that we would all mostly likely endure since most likely we'd mess up and be damned. I'm an artist. I picture everything people say to me. It was awful.

Second example. They wanted to show an abortion video. I told my parents that I didn't want to see dead fetuses. My parents told me to stay home that week. The teachers found out that a lot of kids did this. They simply showed the movie the following week. This movie was sick. Graphic is a mild term for it. I saw a dead human baby being eatten by dogs.

Here's my confusion, hate, etc.
I want God to be good. I want to think he is good. I have been furious at Him and the church since I was 15. I'm 30.
This past year. I've had horrible pains all over my body: elbows, knees, wrists, shoulder, ankles, back. I used to be so athletic. I miss it dearly. My sister needed to have a surgery, at the young age of 25, which has made her unable to bare a child. She's 25! My grandmother has breast cancer. My little cousin needs to have a huge surgery on her chest which will be very painful. The final straw was my friend who heroically gave her kidney to her ailing brother. The surgery failed so badly, the kidney didn't take in her brother and died on the table so she couldn't take it back.

I want to believe that God is good. I really, really do. I just can't keep the teachings from my church out of my head. It's almost like we're being punished. I feel like I'm being punished, and of course, I have 2 years of extreme Catholic teachings to back my feeling up. I know my church was too extreme too, but that doesn't make me un-hear and un-see what I experienced.

I'm a good person though. My family members are all good people, very good people.

Why so much pain? So much suffering. I don't want to hate God. I want to love Him. I want to think that He's got my back. But, wow, look at that track record. I feel hated and unloved.

So safe to say, I'm conflicted. I'm hurt and mad at Him. I'm confused too. I think all these swirling emotions have a factor in my TMS. I think faith is a powerful thing and whether you have a lot or not, it can really make a huge impact in your life.

It's good to read about people who have faith since mine really has been shattered from the past 15 years.
Keep doing what you're doing everyone!
Click to expand...

Hi Waterbear,

I too was brought up catholic, I attended a convent school for seven years. We were given a more balanced view of God, thankfully not the extreme punishment based doctrine you were subjected to. It left me with a more of the idea of God as a good parent, who loves us unconditionally, but will set us straight if we need it.

The severe punishment element of the catholic religion probably has it's roots in medieval european politics.

I always had trouble with the traditional view of God as an all powerful "being", you know, the bearded old man in the sky thing. In my teens and twenties, I didn't lose my faith as such, I just didn't really "get it". It wasn't until I was older and really in need of some guidance that I turned to God and finally saw the "bigger picture".

I don't feel that God is a distinct "being" as such, I believe God is all the beauty and infinite wonder of nature, the love that we share and the miracle of life. To me God is the universal force for good that gives everything life and purpose. The difficult part is us not being able to see the whole plan. It's very hard to put my feelings on this into words, but I hope you understand what I mean. To "hate" God is to hate yourself.

I feel very sorry for all the unbearable difficulties you and your family have had to bear, and can understand how you would feel the way you do. I have had to do a lot of forgiving as I work towards freeing myself from TMS, and I'm also trying to learn to love myself more and to show more gratitude for what I have. Bitterness is not a healing emotion.

I hope you can find peace in your heart. I'm sending you all my love and a big hug :happy:
 
Bitterness is not a healing emotion.
Click to expand...

Too true.

I like your God better, Mermaid. The issue of faith has been a hard one for me but I feel as if I need to reconcile it in some way to help me deal with TMS; it's been gnawing at me for 15 years. Forgiving is hard, especially forgiving myself. I guess its all about practice after all though.

Thanks all!
 
walt glenview said:
God loves us for loving others and ourselves. An giving hugs. You know, we can hug ourselves, too.
Click to expand...

In my yoga class, I always have at least once where we sit and wrap arms around our knees, or under our thighs, and just breathing in our own, personal circle. Hugging ourselves is very important.

Religious doctrine often makes God into a judgmental being, as though this vast power is bound by our narrow, hot-flashing emotions. The bible has many wonderful stories and even more inspirational advice. But it also contains human-driven prejudices. Man wrote the words, and we all know how history is altered so easily.

The judgments we feel stems directly from our own mind. It provokes judgment of others, and ultimately can spiral down into prejudices and hatred. Far above the 'conditional' love is ....... LOVE, the true, unconditional core of our beings.

Elsewhere, it was stated that Faith is the opposite of Fear.

We have learned fear .... ooooh, have we learned fear all too well. Bit by bit, we can unravel that fear, and expose the light that is inside us.

It is a work in progress. Some experience it in a burst, but most of us patiently and relentlessly work at it. Doubts creep in, and we have to vigilantly sweep them right back out.

All of us have experienced agony in one form or another ... that is why we are here. We are all deserving of the empathy and sympathy that flows so warmly from each person on this forum.

We are worthy. Every single one of us, no matter what we have done in the past, no matter our tangled thoughts and emotions.

We are here, right now.

Start .... here. Just .... start. Take a breath, close your eyes, breathe in your intention, open your eyes, smile ... fling your arms open wide, breathe some more, and go forward.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^
 
Waterbear said:
but that doesn't make me un-hear and un-see what I experienced.

I'm a good person though. My family members are all good people, very good people.

Why so much pain? So much suffering. I don't want to hate God. I want to love Him. I want to think that He's got my back. But, wow, look at that track record. I feel hated and unloved.

So safe to say, I'm conflicted. I'm hurt and mad at Him. I'm confused too. I think all these swirling emotions have a factor in my TMS. I think faith is a powerful thing and whether you have a lot or not, it can really make a huge impact in your life.

It's good to read about people who have faith since mine really has been shattered from the past 15 years.
Keep doing what you're doing everyone!
Click to expand...

You have poured your heart out in this thread Waterbear. You've been in hell when you had to experience what you did ya know -- but ya don't have to stay there. Now you can eliminate those visuals and sounds by doing the swish pattern taught in NLP. Im going to post some videos on the techniques as I practice and do them. They have worked miracles for me in forgiving and actually - really forgetting my negative past thoughts and feelings that I could have never done just on my own.

When I post my thread and those videos make sure to ask all the questions you can so you can eliminate those past pictures. You can easily think for a moment what the picture was and then change the color in your imagination of it to the color gray. then wait a few seconds looking at the color gray and then change that color to yellow - right. Then wait about 3 seconds and change the color to white and imagine the white picture turns to like a solid white mirror and throw a rock at it -- watch the white mirror bust and go through an imaginary hole in the ground. when you do that -- look at something tangibly white for about 5 seconds and then try to test to see if what bothered you is still there ok. if it is then it will be fuzzy. Go ahead and do the same technique again 5 or 6 times and you should be good to go.

You will feel what I'm saying more when you see some examples ok. You might get it and pick up on the reconsolidation process but you will have to do step for step what I said above without a thought on anything else at all ok. Soon to be on a video near you Waterbear.

Now on the situation of your love toward our higher power which is God. Remember God isn't mad at you, your hurt cause of what man did - not what god did. He leaves us as free agents to have our own choices and it would be hard if we didn't have those choices so then we have terrible people that treated you bad and you wonder why God allowed it.

I think god is in all the good and he doesn't have any hand in the bad. For God is the Father of heavenly lights and when your tempted know that its the tempter. The power that will heal you -- God is in your heart and you free him by freeing yourself so he can work in your life.

I like to think that we have the power to choose life and then defeat death. I am the head and not the tail -- I am that I am which is power , love and a sound mind. I can do all things because I am. See, when we become who we we're called to be -- we become I am. 1 with god and the universe. We can say I am above and never beneath.

I didn't mean to go on but I want to finish with this - A man in missippi ask where was god when the floods came to losuianna and missippi that killed and hurt many people. The other man replied , do you not know. The missippi man said I never saw anything worthy. The other man said he was in the heart of the fireman that put his life on the line to save 5 family members from a burning house. He was in the health care workers that volunteered there time to help all the sick and he was in the whole nation when we came together to help them get back on their feet.

See Waterbear. You still got a friend in your God, Your Faith, Your power to change, Its been there.

Bless you
 
mindfulliving said:
And oh yes definitely....tms helped me study my spiritual self and religious faith better...i came to a better understanding of things around me....and i learnt what i was missing out on due to be filled with negativity...now i smile far more often than before and have learnt its better to let go of worry than hold on to it for long periods...but yes my faith definitely kept me going....bexause i always knew there was a reason god is putting me and all of us tms people through this....we are not defected or we dont have any mahor issues....we are just special....
Click to expand...
mindfulliving sounds like you have more wisdom to say. I would love to hear more of your post. Thanks
 
Mermaid said:
I don't feel that God is a distinct "being" as such, I believe God is all the beauty and infinite wonder of nature, the love that we share and the miracle of life. To me God is the universal force for good that gives everything life and purpose. The difficult part is us not being able to see the whole plan. It's very hard to put my feelings on this into words, but I hope you understand what I mean. To "hate" God is to hate yourself.
Click to expand...

Awesome, thanks Mermaid.
 
Lily Rose said:
In my yoga class, I always have at least once where we sit and wrap arms around our knees, or under our thighs, and just breathing in our own, personal circle. Hugging ourselves is very important.

Religious doctrine often makes God into a judgmental being, as though this vast power is bound by our narrow, hot-flashing emotions. The bible has many wonderful stories and even more inspirational advice. But it also contains human-driven prejudices. Man wrote the words, and we all know how history is altered so easily.

The judgments we feel stems directly from our own mind. It provokes judgment of others, and ultimately can spiral down into prejudices and hatred. Far above the 'conditional' love is ....... LOVE, the true, unconditional core of our beings.

Elsewhere, it was stated that Faith is the opposite of Fear.

We have learned fear .... ooooh, have we learned fear all too well. Bit by bit, we can unravel that fear, and expose the light that is inside us.

It is a work in progress. Some experience it in a burst, but most of us patiently and relentlessly work at it. Doubts creep in, and we have to vigilantly sweep them right back out.

All of us have experienced agony in one form or another ... that is why we are here. We are all deserving of the empathy and sympathy that flows so warmly from each person on this forum.
We are worthy. Every single one of us, no matter what we have done in the past, no matter our tangled thoughts and emotions.

We are here, right now.

Start .... here. Just .... start. Take a breath, close your eyes, breathe in your intention, open your eyes, smile ... fling your arms open wide, breathe some more, and go forward.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^
Click to expand...

Wow, thanks.
 
Thank you, Eric. I read your post a while back before I was swamped with a few things. I've just gone back and re-read it. There's a lot of good advise in there and I'll try to stick to it - loved the mirror thing. Looking forward to the movies!
 
mindfulliving said:
bexause i always knew there was a reason god is putting me and all of us tms people through this
Click to expand...

It makes me so sad to think about people believing this way. It is a clear example of how rampant fear-based teaching is in our society.

I consider myself to be a recovering Catholic. Having had 12 years of Catholic schooling, I was well-indoctrinated into their fear-based teachings. Three years ago, I watched my father on his deathbed, so afraid to "meet his maker" and the condemnation he would receive for his failure to ensure that his four children were practicing the Catholic faith. He spent several decades living with such guilt and fear!

In my early 20s, I revised my idea of God to be that of a loving, non-judgmental, non-punishing god/creator/source...the name does not matter...and I firmly believe that we are all a piece of that divine. I don't believe I would be as far along in my TMS healing if I believed otherwise. In fact, a huge piece of my "stuckness" in my TMS healing is directly related to feelings of guilt instilled in me growing up in a Polish-Catholic family. I hear in my mind "God's going to punish you", "You should be ashamed of yourself", and "Honor thy father and mother". In my family, it was not okay to be angry with your parents. I watched both of mine take care of their own til their dying days.

Learning how NOT to judge myself for the feelings I have towards my parents is going to be one of the keys to my freedom.
 
I love these posts on a subject we need to explore more and share out thoughts and experiences on.

Herbie, your analysis of God's presence in the Southern floods is wonderful. It reminds us that God is in each of us
and helps give us strength and caring to help others in need.

Honeybear, I think your father was welcomed into Heaven despite his guilt for feeling he didn't do enough to
encourage his children to become Catholics. So many parents push their kids too hard to become priests or nuns.
I have good friends who were pushed that way and one did become a priest but later dropped out,
and one was close to becoming a nun but decided on marriage instead. She and her husband are wonderful
Catholics who raised five children, each of whom is teaching college arts and sciences.

And then there is you, who are a really caring and wonderful person. You share your faith with everyone.
 
Hi, all.

Herbie and I are coauthoring a new book on TMS and healing techniques and are adding the spiritual element
more than any other book on TMS. Since some of you have said the subject is so personal you would rather not
share your thoughts and experiences on faith and God, but we would love to know about them,
if you would email me: waltmax69@gmail.com. I would not use your name or even your TMSWiki name.

Thanks and I hope to hear from you soon because we're almost finished with writing the book,
called GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE IN PAIN.
 
Thank You Walt and Waterbear -- honeybear too for all of your thoughts on the love of God. It makes sense to me that God is love and hes not mad at us ya know. I have read the word extensively for 14 years. I have always seen in God is love. As I see compassion in the hearts of all of our friends here at the wiki.
As a child I grew up in the bible belt -- southern Baptist. I was told that if I did anything wrong then I'd go to hell for it and I often was in fear if I wasn't a good little boy. The truth is that's not the truth. The truth is healing, love and hope. The lie is judgment hate and accusations. Isn't that why we are often in pain and hurting because of these judgments.
I had an enlightenment 11 years ago and I took that enlightenment on missions to hospitals where the people didn't have much of a chance to make it out of the hospitals. I knew in my heart all of those people needed to hear the truth and have a true word from the healer. I did exactly what I was called to do with my hands and knees shaking I would lightly knock at the door of those not given to much time and I would ask is it ok for me to pray with you. I never got turned away and I made a lot of good friends -- Going and knocking the door was opened.
I'd often call the next day to see how my new friends we're doing and it was always music to my ears to hear they have gone home. Not to heaven home but to Home -- Home. I have always been amazed at the power of God and how he works through a heart of compassion. I have seen miracles and that only added energy to my faith. Healing is in the Heart of Hope.
Bless You
 
walt glenview said:
Honeybear, I think your father was welcomed into Heaven despite his guilt for feeling he didn't do enough to
encourage his children to become Catholics. So many parents push their kids too hard to become priests or nuns.
I have good friends who were pushed that way and one did become a priest but later dropped out,
and one was close to becoming a nun but decided on marriage instead. She and her husband are wonderful
Catholics who raised five children, each of whom is teaching college arts and sciences.

And then there is you, who are a really caring and wonderful person. You share your faith with everyone.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Walt. That's sweet of you to say.:)

As for my father, it's kind of a long story, but suffice it to say that he and I made a pact about five years before he passed. It was then that he first shared his fears with me about "meeting his maker", and I in turn shared my beliefs with him about the loving, non-judgmental, non-condemning, non-punishing source from whence we came that I believed in. The deal was this..whoever got there first and found out the truth, and if that truth was that God was not the judging, condemning, punishing being he feared all his life...then we had a code, and that code was a "wink".

Well, lo and behold, about a year and a half ago, I won a reading with world-renowned psychic-medium, John Edward. I about fell off my chair when he told me, "Your dad wants to talk about the wink. Your dad is winking at you."

What an amazing gift!! I need no more proof than that.
 
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