anxiety

[reemdesouky]

It is my 6th day in the educational program... I don't know if this anxiety is related to my readings... but since yesterday I have been too anxious and super sensitive to sound. headaches are too much and aren't really responding to any painkillers. I need to start reading today in this program and in other stuff but I can't... I am restless and can't focus. so angry too. do you have any ideas or similar experiences?

 

[Cactusflower]

Hi @reemdesouky
Increased anxiety or other symptoms often means you are actually headed in the right direction. Your brain has been operating in a safety zone of it's own making, and now you are challenging those old beliefs. The subconcious is basically like an angry 3 year old having a tantrum, and it isn't having all this change right now. It's OK to back off for a day, rest, find quiet, walk off or do whatever you do to diffuse that restless energy. Note the things your mind does when it's trying to revert to an old thought pattern. Keep it in mind, because it's bound to happen again and next time you'll know immediately that you are onto something - a thought, or something around an emotion (or avoiding an emotion). The key is to not let it run away with avoiding the program. A day is fine, then you can gently remind yourself that tomorrow you'll be back to it, refreshed.

That you feel angry is very GOOD! FEELING IS GOOD! Feel that old anger. Feel that new anger. Let it roll through you and if you like, you can write about how it makes you also feel to be angry: guilt, sadness, any feelings at all. It's important to just allow them all.

Great work you are doing for yourself!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Welcome to the forum and the wiki, @reemdesouky! I agree with Cactusflower that this pushback from your fearful TMS brain is good news, and an indication that you're on the right track. It's also incredibly common at this stage!

I need to start reading today in this program and in other stuff

Don't give in to this sense of desperation to get through the program and the resources quickly. Doing the work faster will not result in faster recovery - in fact the opposite is more likely: speed is more likely to result in failure. This is actually a trick designed by your brain to skim through the material and get you quickly back to those old negative thought patterns that Cactusflower mentions.

It is HARD for us TMSers to be compassionate with ourselves and give ourselves a break, but the fact is that urgency, desperation, and victimhood will hinder recovery, while self-love and self-care will help to achieve it.

Keep us posted!