Day 13 Anxiety. Yikes!!!

[mominm]

So it's day 13 and I'm still working on fully accepting my headaches as mindbody symptoms that can go away. I'm probably 80% there, but as more tests come back normal that percentage keeps going up. I was pushing myself to full embrace it, but realized that was just causing more pressure so I've backed off and am being more kind to myself and letting the process progress as it will.

For the past few weeks, when I've looked back at the calendar I've had at least 3 good days a week. Those are days when the pressure in my head is still there, but manageable.

However, on the good days, I can still feel enough pressure that my fear and anxiety go through the roof!! It's the crazy, I want to crawl out of my body right now and get away from this feeling anxiety and it's so tiring. In fact, I confess to using some extra anti-anxiety medication this afternoon. I know after doing a search and reading the forums that this is 100% normal and actually a symptom substitution so it's actually good news. And two, I know that the Claire Weekes audios help so I've been listening to them.

But any advice or helpful suggestions would be appreciated as this is really really hard. Thanks.

Meadow

 

[Ryan]

I know the feeling I just went through that phase. You have to trust you will be ok but this takes time. Try not to fight it or want it to go away so bad, this will make it worse. Accept the emotions is there and try not to react, this will take time. Do not be hard on your self and give your self some time to meditate and relax. You have what it takes to overcome this, perseverance and faith. The original pain is easier to get rid of, but the symptom shift takes time. Just look at this as another way to better yourself. I don't know if your a spiritual person but asking god for acceptance of where you are at is powerful. He is always there to help you. Just be positive and know you will have good days to come and the bad days will pass. Living in the moment will also help. Anxiety is caused usually by something in the past or future. So if you can truly stay in the moment and this will help but takes practice.

Another thing I noticed in your post was how you are calender watching. Just let go and live life and try not to monitor your progress and see how many good and bad days you have and when you have them. Tms will feed off of this, I struggled with this but when you let go and don't have expectations it's amazing how the pain slowly dissipates.

It is pain and suffering that cause people to grow and become better people. Just don't lose hope you will get better. Wish you the best of luck and keep up with the SEP.

Ryan

 

[Anne Walker]

Wow, Ryan wrote a great response and I couldn't agree more. I just want to add that anxiety is the worst!! As my symptoms started shifting around I went through days of anxiety in which my skin was literally crawling. Every cell in my body felt anxious. I couldn't rest or enjoy anything. Those days were very long. But they did pass! My anxiety is very minimal now. I haven't taken a Xanax in 6 months or more. So, no matter how bad it seems, try to have faith that it will pass and that is just what it takes to get to the other side.

 

[Marian]

I went through this just last night. I'd had a fairly pain-free afternoon with my hands and forearms, and then when driving home from work, I began to feel them again. The pain came on hard and fast and I was unable to sleep... it was more intense than it had ever been. I became full-blown anxious. Usually I don't get anxious in this way. I guess I repress it. But after an hour or so in bed with this pain I, too, was ready to jump out of my skin. Telling myself it was TMS, which sometimes works, did absolutely no good. I was in a pain loop.

Here's what I did: I gathered in my mind and focused it on my breath... basic meditation technique. I refused to allow it to go even one minute into the past or future, worrying about tomorrow or going over past events. It took a lot of willpower and was discouraging for the first half hour or so with no improvement, but then I began to relax into the breathing and the pain began to loosen up and fall away enough for me to sleep.

My sense is that as I am beginning to get a grip on the cause of my TMS symptoms, my symptoms are sometimes getting worse, with more anxiety attached. An experience like last night really helped me to feel like I'm on the right track.

Keep going, Meadow. It's super hard, but it does work!