Hi there,
To provide some context, I will try to sum up my long history of TMS related pain and symptoms (mostly lower back) as succinctly as possible. I am currently 50 years old. The first case of TMS I can remember was in my late 20's. I can't remember everything going on back then but know that I had some credit card debt which was definitely a big stressor. I never really resolved the cause of the pain and lived with on and off back pain through my early 30's when I got married and shortly after had 2 daughters. During the time my daughters were around 1 and 2, I started to experience acute back pain. It got so bad at a point that I had to work from bed and could barely pick up my daughters. Like many people on this forum, I tried absolutely everything short of surgery to resolve the pain including physical therapy, epidurals, acupuncture, yoga/pilates, massage, painkillers, muscle relaxers, etc etc.
The pain got so debilitating that I decided to take off 3 weeks from work, stay at my in-laws in Florida and focus 100% on finding a solution to the problem. Not surprisingly, nothing worked and I felt worse. On the day before we went home, I saw a book on my in-law's shelf "Mind Over Back Pain". I read the book cover to cover that day in one sitting and realized that Sarno was describing me to a tee...conscientious, people pleaser, repressed anxiety and anger, stressed over new young family and running my own business, etc etc. Over the next day, I could feel massive chemical changes occurring in my body and has about 75% pain free...5+ years of back pain were almost gone after 1 day of just reading a book, it was amazing! With some journaling and additional work, I moved to 100% pain free in a couple weeks and was back to my old, active lifestyle.
Since that a-ha moment, I have had multiple relapses. Some with back pain but also wrists, elbow and groin. With each occurrence, it took me a little time to recognize that it was TMS, but once I did the pain went away. And with most of those times, I really just had to convince myself it was TMS and possibly re-read Sarno...my personal favorite is "Healing Back Pain". I never really had to do any journaling or extra work.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I was going through a workout while staying at a hotel and about halfway through went down to the ground with acute pain in my lower back area. I initially attributed it to a lack of hydration (I only had coffee that morning) and tightness from a long drive the prior night. After the pain did not go away for a few days, I recognized that it was TMS. My strategy was similar to past relapses...just recognize it is TMS, "power through" some workouts knowing it is only muscle spasms, go play golf and not worry about it. Looking back, I did recognize that it was TMS but was focused on the "physical" of working out, stretching, getting a massage, etc. Now 3 weeks later, my back has not improved. 2 days ago, I realized that I need to start focusing on the "emotional". I have re-read many Sarno chapters, listened to a few podcasts from Nicole Sachs (who is great) and did two journal sessions.
I feel like I may have a little improvement today but my back is still pretty "locked up". This episode seems a lot tougher to resolve than in the past. I am sure that I still have plenty of repressed emotions, but my life in general is simpler and less stressful than in pas years.
Based on my story, do you recommend that I continue journaling or have any other suggestions? I feel like I really spilled everything in yesterday's journaling...I am not sure what else I can write about!
Thank you
To provide some context, I will try to sum up my long history of TMS related pain and symptoms (mostly lower back) as succinctly as possible. I am currently 50 years old. The first case of TMS I can remember was in my late 20's. I can't remember everything going on back then but know that I had some credit card debt which was definitely a big stressor. I never really resolved the cause of the pain and lived with on and off back pain through my early 30's when I got married and shortly after had 2 daughters. During the time my daughters were around 1 and 2, I started to experience acute back pain. It got so bad at a point that I had to work from bed and could barely pick up my daughters. Like many people on this forum, I tried absolutely everything short of surgery to resolve the pain including physical therapy, epidurals, acupuncture, yoga/pilates, massage, painkillers, muscle relaxers, etc etc.
The pain got so debilitating that I decided to take off 3 weeks from work, stay at my in-laws in Florida and focus 100% on finding a solution to the problem. Not surprisingly, nothing worked and I felt worse. On the day before we went home, I saw a book on my in-law's shelf "Mind Over Back Pain". I read the book cover to cover that day in one sitting and realized that Sarno was describing me to a tee...conscientious, people pleaser, repressed anxiety and anger, stressed over new young family and running my own business, etc etc. Over the next day, I could feel massive chemical changes occurring in my body and has about 75% pain free...5+ years of back pain were almost gone after 1 day of just reading a book, it was amazing! With some journaling and additional work, I moved to 100% pain free in a couple weeks and was back to my old, active lifestyle.
Since that a-ha moment, I have had multiple relapses. Some with back pain but also wrists, elbow and groin. With each occurrence, it took me a little time to recognize that it was TMS, but once I did the pain went away. And with most of those times, I really just had to convince myself it was TMS and possibly re-read Sarno...my personal favorite is "Healing Back Pain". I never really had to do any journaling or extra work.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I was going through a workout while staying at a hotel and about halfway through went down to the ground with acute pain in my lower back area. I initially attributed it to a lack of hydration (I only had coffee that morning) and tightness from a long drive the prior night. After the pain did not go away for a few days, I recognized that it was TMS. My strategy was similar to past relapses...just recognize it is TMS, "power through" some workouts knowing it is only muscle spasms, go play golf and not worry about it. Looking back, I did recognize that it was TMS but was focused on the "physical" of working out, stretching, getting a massage, etc. Now 3 weeks later, my back has not improved. 2 days ago, I realized that I need to start focusing on the "emotional". I have re-read many Sarno chapters, listened to a few podcasts from Nicole Sachs (who is great) and did two journal sessions.
I feel like I may have a little improvement today but my back is still pretty "locked up". This episode seems a lot tougher to resolve than in the past. I am sure that I still have plenty of repressed emotions, but my life in general is simpler and less stressful than in pas years.
Based on my story, do you recommend that I continue journaling or have any other suggestions? I feel like I really spilled everything in yesterday's journaling...I am not sure what else I can write about!
Thank you
