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Another flare up and fear creeping back up

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by COgirl05, Feb 23, 2016.

  1. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    I just need some external reassurance. I've been trying to tell myself I'm done and nothing is wrong for a few days but it's not working well. I'm having another flare up of back pain after feeling great last week! I really thought I was beating it and I even told myself that! I felt so relieved. Well this week, here I am again. The fear about the pain is coming back telling me I'm defeated and that its always going to feel like this. I tel myself that's my bully and that's BS but I'm starting to get worn down by it. Please help!! I could use some good success stories that I won't have to live like this wit the ups and downs of TMS so frequently!
  2. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Hi COgirl,

    Slow and steady wins the race. Try not to get too high during a good week, or too low during a bad. A good week does not mean you're forever done with TMS, and a bad week does not mean defeat.

    Be patient with yourself. Ups and downs are part of your process right now. You know for sure that the pain is TMS. You know you can overcome it.

    As always, reframe the pain as a message that something needs attention. A big dose of self-compassion will help you get through this.

  3. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    @David88 I've been nearly pain free until yesterday. Again, the pain has traveled to the original area that has been pain free since about last July! It's back there after a stressful weekend. I'm fearful yet again as well...
  4. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Fear is a TMS symptom, just as much as pain.

    Whatever happened this weekend, it touched something in you that your unconscious is trying to push away. That's where you will find the source of this TMS flare up.
  5. MWsunin12

    MWsunin12 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I can say this: fear just floods our systems with adrenaline which makes everything more, more, more of what we don't want. It's a cycle.
    Can you do anything to remember when you didn't have the pain? That's what I'm doing for myself. Letting my body remember that it could be well. You already know your body doesn't HAVE to have this pain, because you've been without it. Feel secure in knowing that. Whatever this is…is a temporary message to take care of something that is bugging you. Cheering you on.
  6. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    That's it, COgirl, it is clear and simple: you had a stressful weekend and pain came back, exactly by playbook. Your WERE beating it, now you will learn to SUSTAIN beating it. One foot in front of another, breathing deeply..... do not give up!
  7. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Thank you all for the responses! They definitely give me hope that I'll be able to sustain the healing. I have a baby with a cold and ear infections and because of this pulled all-nighters with him for several nights in a row. I know that sleep has a big role in how I feel and if I'm able to "fight off" the fear thoughts. When I'm super sleep deprived, it's much more difficult for me. I think my inner child is pissed that I'm not getting sleep and having to take care of kids all the time. I notice during sleepless nights or difficult parenting times, the pain shows up. Any pointers for this?
  8. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    [QUOTE="COgirl05, post: 63575, member: 2698" I think my inner child is pissed that I'm not getting sleep and having to take care of kids all the time. I notice during sleepless nights or difficult parenting times, the pain shows up. Any pointers for this?[/QUOTE]

    you are not alone. watch this video to the end.

  9. Crissyxox

    Crissyxox Peer Supporter

    If I understand Alan's philosophy, Preoccupation with the pain is perhaps the whole point of tms, not even the pain itself. Outcome independence is when you don't measure your success based on level of pain but on how well you self comfort etc. I too am experiencing what you are right now. I have gone back to what worked before, journaling, researching Alan's perspective, and treating myself as kind as possible. I need a lot of patience right now and that's ok.
    Good luck to you. You can do this.

  10. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    you are not alone. watch this video to the end.

    Yes this part about parenting really resonated with me. Society has such a stigma about what a good parent is and they act that it's hard to internalize the whole thing and have TMS symptoms flare!
    TG957 likes this.

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