Day 1 Ankle pain for 3 years

[Logan Cale]

As the title says I have been having ankle pain for the last 3 years. I am pretty sure it's TMS, but I am not 100% sure. This isn't 1st my time going through the SEP - in the past I have had chronic shoulder, wrist, hip and foot pain - these are all mostly better after following Dr Sarno's books and doing the SEP.

3 years ago I took up running, and at the start it was fine. Gradually my ankle hurt more and more and I gave the running up. Most types of shoes cause ankle pain and sometimes even just gently flexing my ankle hurts. It's weird as most shoes hurt my ankle. Even if I lace my shoes up very loose, it feels like my laces are very tight and my ankle hurts (over sensitive?). Some shoes hurt and others don't. Some shoes used to hurt and no longer do and other shoes used to be fine, but now they hurt (surely TMS as it makes no sense!)

In terms of treatment

- I am reading Dr Sarno's Dr Sarno's Mind body prescription (again)
- I am trying to avoid trigger point massage and stretching exercises. I have read that these just reinforce the belief that the pain is structural, not psychological.
- I am trying some things like outcome independence but having limited success

Level of acceptance I have of the TMS diagnosis

It depends on the day. Sometimes I feel like I have a high level of acceptance. Then other days I get a bit disheartened. To be honest I haven't been great at applying the TMS approach to my pain, I am very inconsistent.

Doubts and worries are as follows:

I have some minor success that a certain pair of shoes no longer causes pain, but then I wear another pair of shoes and they cause pain. So just as I start to believe my pain is TMS, then I start to doubt it.

My worries are:

- I'll never get rid of the pain
- Eventually all shoes will hurt my feet
- My ankle pain will get worse
- I'll never be able to run again

Sorry for the long post, I spent way too long writing it.

 

[hecate105]

Your worry list says it all ....
If any of the pains you had were structural - they would not of gone/shifted/reappeared etc...!
If you cannot accept the tms idea - then your list of worries - will be worried into existence...!
You have done the hard work - finding out about tms - getting rid of pain before, but you let your 'mind' bully you into fearing a worst outcome...
How about setting a period of time in which you will just assume its tms and proceed? maybe 6 months - it needs to be a good length of time. Also - you may need to do other work that 'releases ' your 'disbelief'...! Like meditating/getting out into nature every day/journalling/reading books and articles about mindbody medicine....
I had 22 years of life wasted because of all the pain I felt.... But now here i am - fit and able, working , cycling across countries..... not bad for a former wheelchair user!
Don't let pain hoodwink you - you deserve a free life - make sure you get it!!

 

[Logan Cale]

Your worry list says it all ....
If any of the pains you had were structural - they would not of gone/shifted/reappeared etc...!
If you cannot accept the tms idea - then your list of worries - will be worried into existence...!
You have done the hard work - finding out about tms - getting rid of pain before, but you let your 'mind' bully you into fearing a worst outcome...
How about setting a period of time in which you will just assume its tms and proceed? maybe 6 months - it needs to be a good length of time. Also - you may need to do other work that 'releases ' your 'disbelief'...! Like meditating/getting out into nature every day/journalling/reading books and articles about mindbody medicine....
I had 22 years of life wasted because of all the pain I felt.... But now here i am - fit and able, working , cycling across countries..... not bad for a former wheelchair user!
Don't let pain hoodwink you - you deserve a free life - make sure you get it!!

Thanks so much for your post, this community has some lovely people. I think your reply is just what I needed to hear.

When you say meditating, what kind do you mean? Or just standard focusing on the breathe?

Great news to hear you out and about doing so much considering you used to be in a wheelchair - well done.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

To the excellent advice from @hecate105 (as always!) I would also suggest, @Logan Cale, a healthy dose of self-compassion. I was struck by this:

Sorry for the long post, I spent way too long writing it.

which is just really being hard on yourself, and so, so critical! Believe me, this isn't even in the running as a long post! You very appropriately spent almost no time on physical details (thank you! because they are completely irrelevant!) and instead gave us the information we DO need to know, which is what you are working on psychologically and emotionally.

So I would recommend that you devote some time and mental energy on your anxiety, perfectionism, and self-criticism. As Nicole Sachs regularly reminds us, doing this work really requires a willingness and ability to have patience and kindness for yourself. You can do a forum keyword search for "Nicole Sachs" and enter my name, then look through the thread titles to find ones where I'm recommending one of her podcasts. She's always worth listening to and always has several gems in each podcast about doing this work effectively - with self-compassion.

Nicole has some free meditations on her website. There's an excellent, free, and education-based app called Healthy Minds which is like a meditation course - I think it's very effective. @Cactusflower was the one who found it, and I have the app. Other good apps with paid subscriptions (always after a free trial) are Calm and Ten Percent Happier - with very different platforms and focus.