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anger

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by mbo, Aug 30, 2020.

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  1. mbo

    mbo Peer Supporter

    In my humble opinion the rol of anger in the genesis of pain is paramount.
    If you try to say to a suffering person
    "beware!, a part of you, the inner or residual child according Freud, could be 'dangerously' enfuriated"
    his/her automatic response will be.... RAGE !
    The neverending loop.

    Experiences welcome.
     
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Are you looking for experiences of passing the information on, or people's first hand experiences with their own rage?

    When I was younger and had first recovered from TMS, like most new converts, I blabbed about Sarno at every opportunity. I got a lot of angry responses. "Yeah? Well my pain is REAL" "I am NOT angry"... etc...

    Now that I am almost 55 and still playing Baseball, working heavy labor construction, getting drilled by fastballs, humping heavy piles of lumber and supplies all day, and working through injuries that would shut down a younger person, I have had a lot more success. Living this and being an example is the best advertisement.

    I never bring up the information in a group setting (ego flares up) and I only bring it up to people who are frustrated with 'the regular approach'

    One of the guys on my crew is having back pain right now. I counseled him out of some pain before. He understands this :
    but NOW he can't seem to figure out what he is angry about? I think I know.

    He's angry at ME. He is a foot taller than me, stronger, better looking and 24 years younger.... he fancies himself a leader and is used to other guys looking up to him. But I don't. Like most 'toxic males' I judge everybody by their work, not their ability or potential. Subsequently he is often on my shit list for day dreaming and chatting on the phone. I Imagine if he could he would beat the snot out of me.... but he is too nice of a guy. I feel like I ought to tell him, but I have been waiting for the right time.

    As I have written before, we are the descendants of winners. The guys who beat the other guys. The killers, the war winners, the resource acquirers, the partnered up. Male or Female, lots and lots of people had to LOSE for you to be here right now. But our modern culture seems bent on pretending that the world is a warm fuzzy Marianne Williamson convention. That atavistic tendency to win is NOT going to be evolved out of us in a generation or two.

    Someone asked Eckhart Tolle why mindfulness is so hard to achieve for people in the wealthy, peaceful west. "What about people living in a war torn country like Iraq?". He pointed out that when you might die at any moment, there is no need to look for mindfulness... you are already there living the reality on a razors edge. You are Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Thich Nhat Han all rolled into one. Presence. In the proximity of death, all mental constructs are revealed to be what they are....fleeting and temporary.

    You can end the loop. First, by admitting it IS a loop and then by watching the loop... don't judge the loop, just admit it is there and watch it. Learn about yourself at your basest nature. Distill it again and again. You might even get the double benefit of admitting the depth of your rage AND no longer being at it's mercy.

    this is a magic process.
     
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  3. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    @Baseball65, your post is awesome. I'm in my early thirties and I see quite a few people around my age who are already experiencing debilitating pain and it's apparent that the majority of them likely aren't permanently breaking at 30 or 32, but may instead be dealing with some type of TMS/mind-body symptoms. I cannot speak to my forties, fifties, etc. yet, but what happens when someone has been dealing with TMS/mind-body symptoms for decades, since their childhood years, twenties, or thirties? Even if one does develop some sort of structural condition down the line, TMS/mind-body symptoms obviously make it all so much worse. Also, I appreciate your overall approach to TMS/the mind-body connection and you are correct about human nature and history. Keep playing baseball!

    I agree that the loop can be manipulated and controlled by simply learning how to manage your daily emotions. It's healthy and appropriate to experience anger, anxiety, depression, stress, etc. at times. If your best friend in the world dies, how can you not feel at least one of those emotions at some point? A few of my friends are lawyers and all of them frequently use the word "reasonable," which changed my thinking about a few things. We don't have to be perfect, we just need to strive for balance and reasonable actions and reactions.
     
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  4. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Buddah leaves the palace. Jesus goes on his preaching tour. WTF is life all about?

    Most people at this age are hitting their spiritual 'wall'... "I am doing everything right, but I am not happy and fulfilled like I thought I would be". I was getting symptoms in my late twenties and by age 31 or so I was down for the count.

    I had a career, two kids and a wife, was finally a good middle class concerned citizen and had shed all of those selfish childish habits I carried way too long.... Ouch, my back hurts.

    Thank God I never listened to the 'be careful' people.
    I was born with one (congenital fusion) and was pain free anyways. The pain was all in my life and head....once I drained it a little it all went away.

    peace
     
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  5. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    You are correct. I was a jock at one point in my life and I'm still known for being a physically active "health nut." It drives me INSANE when my friends ask me how I have still energy to do some of the things I do. Early thirties are WAY too early for this, even with Ehlers-Danlos and silly joints. I'm glad you never listened to the "be careful" people. Very good advice; thanks for everything you do!
     
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