am i winning or is it moving forever

hi, today I challenged myself to spend time with someone who I have a conditioned response around (negative gossiper) anyway, I did well, i stayed calm used breathing and the pain went down, then it went and my cfs fatigue went up, then it went down and my ibs came on, then I left and went to the park with my son, another place I get triggered, and my pain stayed 0.1 but I felt so ill, I know its tms , i stayed calm despite intrusive thoughts, then got home and it all went back to baseline.

I am sad as I think man that was hard, will it just keep doing that, or i stay strong will it back of as long as i don't reak out. sometimes I feel I spend forever saying this will pass lol, yet I'm still so ill.

how do I stay strong and believe this will all stop?

 

The good news is that you are not ill and recognizing that is the way to believe it will all stop!

Complete relief is often not automatic and that's okay. It's excellent that your breathing technique helped! But 1) believing that you are okay and 2) not focusing on just getting rid of the pain is also important. It's like when I had a panic episode that seemingly came out of nowhere (although they never actually do). It was the type of panic episode I used to get after coming off Cymbalta - I felt like I was in some sort of danger and couldn’t focus or relax, and this could go on for hours. I ended up taking a shower - not to rid myself of the panic episode, but simply because my hair felt crazy dry and I needed conditioner STAT - and after maybe 10 minutes I realized that the panic episode was gone. All thanks to conditioner and warm water distracting me. That was more successful than spending hours trying to force myself to relax.

It also sounds like you need some more faith in yourself. You can certainly do this without "freaking out!" Do you deal with self-doubt in other areas of your life? What makes you feel safe?

 

You don't have to spend time with negative people. Just don't fear them.

Spend time with positive people.

 

Your winning. It Does stop moving. If it didn't, the information wouldn't be particularly useful, huh?

"Hey... I know how to SORT OF fix your toilet"

You wouldn't call that plumber again, would you?

Like anything else, you will need to do maintenance for a while... but the frequency will diminish and so will the symptoms. It only seems all amped up when your new, but as this becomes the new normal, you won't have to think about it much...like driving a stickshift, riding a bike, or learning a piece of music... it just sort of becomes automatic.

It won't always be this effort filled. In fact, to the contrary, it is this resistance that caused the pain... you only just became aware of it...it is the awareness that gets rid of symptoms. I spend tons of times with people I'd rather not be around symptom free.... I just stay aware that I don't care for them