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Aggresive becomes passive leads to hypertension

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Madder, Nov 9, 2021.

  1. Madder

    Madder New Member

    In Dr Sarno's book, The Divided Mind, there is a reference between hypertension and the changes in a person from being 'aggressive' or 'assertive' (as I prefer to say when referencing myself) to becoming 'passive'.
    When I was a teenager, I was the type of guy who didn't take any cr*p off people. As a younger child, we lived in a neighbourhood that was considered a but tough and difficult. We were bullied there a little. But when we moved house, I was 11 years old. My older brother suggested that we should start as we mean to go on and not to allow people to bully us anymore. A fresh start and so lets stand up for ourselves if any attempt at bullying happened and so we did. It went well for about 5 or 6 years. However, at that point there was a very violent episode that happened when I was a teenager.
    Since then, I decided that it was better to ignore potential trouble, walk away, keep my mouth shut and just don't get involved.
    Sure enough, many years later, about 3 years ago, at the age of 46, I went to the doctor, just feeling unwell, and they took my blood pressure, which was elevated a little. Stage 1 hypertension.
    The told me to come back three times later in the week randomly to measure it again, two of those times it was stage 1, and the other time it was barely within range.
    Blood tests showed nothing. Eco showed all was fine with my heart. They couldn't figure it out. They said my cholesterol was a little high but not very high. They wanted me to get that within range but they also talked about my blood pressure being maybe 'genetically' high.
    They suggested a low fat diet, which I know now was b*llsh*t. Low carb and high fat has helped lower my cholesterol. IT has also helped me lose weight and get within my BMI.
    But I found it interesting when I came across that in the book, recently, that it seemed to be 'nail on the head' for me. Someone who was only too happy to stand up for himself, went through a violent event, and then decided that standing up for himself isn't always the best form of action and so I became extremely passive and introvert and have been that way ever since. So whatever anger and rage has developed since then, found it's way out by raising my blood pressure. This in turn caused me to stress a little and at one stage my blood pressure was taken at 178/104, and that was very high.
    This is not the only form of TMS I have dealt with in life. Anxiety, Panic, Depression, burning pains. I've had many forms, and am only now learning and trying to deal with them.
    I now own a blood pressure monitor. And while I haven't taken a measurement in a while, i think maybe I should start that again every month. Maybe this simple knowledge will be enough to help me keep it down. Here's hoping.
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    We have had very similar experiences. I went from living a virtually criminal hedonistic lifestyle, drinking, drugging and fighting to having a spiritual experience and becoming 'Mr. Morality'....and they were BOTH Liars! I was that 'aggressive' not by nature, but by choice. I got tired of getting my ass kicked so I learned if I struck first, the other person usually went down. I went from being picked on to being a bit of a psycho... they both sucked.

    But, The Lion share of my TMS arrived when I became 'Good'.... Moral. Ethical. "Just let the other person be wrong and walk away".... this started in my early twenties following a powerful spiritual experience.

    I tried to become the best person, best Husband, best dad, best worker,....without ever consulting with the wildman who used to rule the roost. He had quite a bit to say about my newfound self righteousness. Shoulder pain. Insomnia. back Pain. strange illnesses,etc.

    After doing this for over two decades I have learned a few strategies.

    When I am involved in a 'distraction' or symptom, It is not from right here, right now 'how I think' that I ponder the things that might be troubling me. It is from the Imagined point of view of that Hedonist and Selfish , Violent child I used to be. I have to imagine how HE would react to the pressures that modern 'good' me is currently experiencing. So in essence, the recovery is sort of an act of creativity, because I don't have access to the way I used to feel and think....It's like a little brother I vaguely remember who is now dead.

    Our brains seem to be afraid to let us 'go there' but I do it pretty often and have been able to fend off lots of stuff...even High Blood pressure. I got it down low enough to quit taking meds w/o losing weight or quitting salt or smoking... just by knowing how much anger had pooled up in the eddies down there.

    There is nothing wrong with knowing your BP, but be careful it doesn't become a new fixation. We sort of tend to do that. WHILE I was having my BP problem , I bought one and found myself taking it several times a day and even learning how to manipulate the results (LOL)
    it probably can.. but give it time. I like stuff that works right now, this second (like Drugs LOL)...and our unconscious is usually a bit behind the conscious... for me it's a couple of days. It's gotten shorter the longer I do this stuff.
    backhand, Madder and Ellen like this.
  3. Madder

    Madder New Member

    That is very interesting. Thank you so much for that. I understand what you're saying. Probably the teenager in me still wants to get pissed off with people who annoy him. I must try to communicate with him. :)
    Baseball65 likes this.

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