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After 5 years.

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Sita, Apr 21, 2021.

  1. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    Hi everyone,

    My pain comes during the night, while I sleep. It wakes me up at 1, 2 or 3 am. I stay awake for 2-3 hours and then I go back to sleep. During these 2-3 hours I knit or read, sometimes I stretch/exercise. When I go to sleep the pain is a little less severe so I am able to go back to bed and fall asleep.

    I read Sarno and all the books about the subject. Have done psychotherapy, with 4-5 different therapists and methods. I meditate. Work out. Have a clean diet. Been raised in a communist country and had a few traumas (PTSD). I've done EMDR for it. I take care of myself, have many hobbies and I do not obsess about the pain.

    Why is it that I experience pain while I sleep? (The rest of the day I still have pain but it's manageable).

    Thanks.

    P.S. I tried to modify the title of this thread but can't. A better title would be "Pain at night". If any moderator could change the title...would be nice. Thanks.
     
  2. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    I understand that the pain might come from the subconscious mind at night. How can I deal with the subconscious? Or the unconscious.
     
  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Well, supposedly we can't. But that doesn't mean you can't break that pattern and get free.

    Now I am sure you know from my posts I am more about "Get up and FIGHT it" than the "Peace Love and Woodstock" school of TMS recovery. Most of the techniques I have developed are dramatic, loud and thorough. They also work FAST. Being a Drama Queen the first 25 years of my life, I got plenty of practice. I believe that TMS ought to be beaten in minutes, and hours, not weeks and months. Albert Ellis on steroids.

    When I had nighttime attacks or symptoms, I would always get up and TALK (yell) to it just like I did during the day, though I might have been a little pissier, having been woken up by it. I would first question it: "Why are you F-ing with me? What is it you want from me!?"
    I would then get busy writing any POSSIBLE reservoir I might have overlooked. Remember, the 'Nicer' we perceive ourselves consciously, the harder it is to dig out.... but it can be dug out and rooted.

    It is a hassle. When we get woken up at night, we usually just want to go back to sleep, but from forcing myself wide awake and giving it the attention it obviously wants, It did stop. "Oh... you really want to play, do you?"

    Keep in mind too, that since this seems to be a pattern, that means conditioning. It might be some old , stale something that isn't even bothering you anymore, but did at one time, and now it has become a pattern. Those ones require a little more nuance in the hunting, because we sometimes need to search our memory for what was going on when it first happened.

    After reading Sarno and learning about the Freudian Model, I became more and more curious about sleep, seeing as during REM dream states, that is allegedly the only time we have an unrestricted glimpse into the unconscious. If there is something in there that you are involuntarily afraid of, your body might think it's protecting you by getting you up. Whenever you can , like when it wakes you up, you might want to 'scratch' that record so it can't play anymore. The deeper you scratch it (self inflicted dramatic episode) the quicker it might go away.

    When lighting a candle doesn't work, throw a Napalm bomb at it. Sometimes the sheer shock is enough to break the cycle.
     
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  4. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    Thanks!

    Reading your message...I just remembered that a few years back (in 20012 or so) I started to shoot guns. Was scared in the beginning but loved it after some time! I prefer pistol. After some years I got quite good at it, used to go to indoor shooting ranges, then outdoors. This and boxing for me are fab for releasing anger and desperation. Mostly rage! And my pain was getting less and less bothersome. I have to go again shooting!

    Yeah, I'm such a nice person, everyone that knows me says it. I'll go tomorrow to the closest shooting range...It will help me with the pain. It did in the past, it will in the future.

    Take care.
     
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  5. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    I got it now!

    I reread your response Baseball65. It's a good idea to talk to your brain and yell and swear at it. Yes, a great option, why not? I've done it this morning, not out loud but in my head. It was great! I was able to go back to sleep after only a short time. It worked!

    I was raise to never swear, never yell and be proper, like a small and delicate lady. And to never think about these things not even in my head! Because proper girls do not swear like sailors! Sarno talks about speaking to your own brain. After I read it for the first time I thought what a new age stupid idea. But it's not! I can give orders to my brain. When I meditate for instance. I sometimes say: "Sit! Quiet! Sit!" like I'm talking to a dog and trying to domesticate him. It's the lunatic mind that I'm taming. Plus I'm not small and delicate anymore, I'm quite tall so no...not a "delicate flower" anymore.

    Two of the traumas took place at night. That's it! This is why I get the pain at night. Got it now.

    The "STOP" therapy for OCD sucks!! I've been doing it for the last few days. But I love it, gives me more and more power to overcome.

    Thanks a lot! All the best!
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
    Aimee88, Balsa11, oneperson and 2 others like this.
  6. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had an unusual childhood in that I was allowed to do whatever I wanted 99% of the time. Little to no adult/parent supervision. LATER when I grew up, I oftentimes have been embarrassed of how often I swear and I have over the years dropped it from almost all speech. I AM the one telling my friends 'language!?!'....when they swear, or tell a sordid story.

    For the people who grew up NOT allowed to swear, fight and kick against the pricks, I think they fear that if they start it might continue..... the same way they are afraid to focus on something with negative connotations thinking it will make them 'depressed'. Quite the opposite. It is like using fire to fight fire. I am a bit of a Pollyanna in comparison with many of my peers.

    Good work. I have to stay at it too sometimes. Its like a rash. When it breaks out, treat it, but don't expect it to last too long.
     
    Aimee88, oneperson and Sita like this.
  7. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    Thanks for the advice. I'll be vigilant.
     
  8. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    I'm doing quite well. I still wake up early but I'm not in pain anymore when I wake up. I just wake up and that's it. It's a great sign that I'll get better. Oh, so happy I am. Was not even aware about the lack of pain...it was shocking to realize that. Now it comes and goes. But I'm full of hope.

    My anxiety increased but I have Claire Weekes for help.
    I also found dr. Sarno's book (the first one) on youtube. He's reading it! It's so helpful to hear his voice. Link to it bellow:



    I'll start lifting weights again. I'm a former gymnast and love to work out, but when in pain I could not do it. I pushed myself to do it anyway sometimes and always felt better after. This when I actually did the work out for real or in my mind. I had times when I would mentally train, being in bed, horizontally. It felt great using this method too.

    This forum is so so helpful. Thank you all!
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2021
    Baseball65 likes this.
  9. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    It clicked!

    All I have to do is not think anymore. In a negative way, analyzing, dissecting, commenting etc. And I'm pain free.

    Just floating on a lake with my mind. When I have to think - I do it, calmly. But then when I'm done, I just go back to floating again. Like a levitation but done with the mind. Keeping the mind clean.

    Peace and harmony.
     
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  10. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have been trying to figure out how to do that for 55 years! (LOL)

    There are different levels of the operation of mind. When I am ok and in balance, it is quiet in here and It feels spacious. When I am not OK it feels fast, cramped and hot. One of the better ways to slow it down that I have found is Eckhart Tolle's 'watching the thinker'. I think Buddhists call it 'labeling'. I guess other people have different methods.
    The most important aspect as regards TMS is, when I am OK I just think about things the way it IS, not how I wish it would be. I can think about any topic regardless of it's 'negative' or 'positive' nature without giving it my judgement. My TMS mind is a judge, jury and jailer all in one!
     
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  11. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    No swearing needed when you are RELAXED enough. Short, simple commands are best.
     
    Sita likes this.
  12. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Exactly. I give my mind a chance to reboot by spacing out, letting my mind clear itself and relax, and then I return to paying full attention to the present moment.
     
    Sita likes this.
  13. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    Yes, me too. Have exactly the same way of thinking...as you. I've read Tolle and reread him and then read some more in the past years. Also, did all his exercises how to be in the moment...until I finally got it. It's wonderful, so so at peace and with so much harmony around. Everywhere. And all in silence...for Christ's sake! And peace.
     
    Baseball65 likes this.
  14. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    Yes, I realized this to be true. As if I'm training a dog, but he's just a dog ... used to be rather loud. :)
     
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  15. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Hmm I find I can still fall back asleep pretty quickly by recognizing it as a flareup. I'm too tired to wake up completely but breathing deeply turns off the flare and I finish the work the next morning. When you're a light sleeper that can be woken up by almost anything, it's not that alarming to be woken up by a flareup, though you do have to stop the "my sleep is messed up" complaining and get back to resting. I think that different methods work for different personalities. The "fierce" method gets me too worked up and self critical and blamey but a little extra fire is needed to break out of avoidance and inertia.
     
    Sita likes this.
  16. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Can 100% relate to this!
     
  17. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    I started to work out with weights again. First day today. At home. I have everything I need in a small gym (a room). Today: squats (3x6 no weights and 1x4 with 10 Kg/22lbs on my back) + pectorals (5x10 light weights the first 2 and then heavier weights last 3). Plus some workout for abs. About 25 min. total.

    I feel great!
     
    Aimee88 likes this.
  18. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    This is a beautiful poem that I like so much. I study it, I read it, I think about it. It's lovely.


    Humility

    Humility is perpetual quietness of heart.
    It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted,
    or vexed, or irritated, or sore, or disappointed.

    It is to expect nothing,
    to wonder at nothing that is done to me,
    to feel nothing done against me.
    It is to be at rest when nobody praises me,
    and when I am blamed and despised.

    It is to have a blessed home in myself,
    where I can go in and shut the door,
    and kneel to my Father in secret,
    and be at peace as in a deep sea of calmness,
    when all around and above is troubled.

    — Canon T.T. Carter
     

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