I don't really understand what I am feeling. I wanted to share it and hear what you all think, and if anyone else found similar feelings. My dad was emotionally abusive. My first memory of a feeling is fear. By 12 I understood I hated him. I don't ever remember wanting a relationship that was improved, I wanted to have nothing to do with him. As I was journalling about the hate in my teens and still being afraid of him, I realised what I am afraid of is that he will hurt me. So, if he hurts me, I am feeling an emotion other than hate. I am so distant from my feelings I don't know what that emotion is. I am afraid I will feel......what? What does "he can hurt my feelings" mean? I feel embarrassed asking, but I'm not suppossed to tell myself " you shouldn't" Any thoughts?