Advice Appreciated

OK.

I made great progress using them. I started many years ago but from 2011 I started to practice them daily, for hours. Every single day. Usually when I was out walking in nature. I would go for a walk in nature and practice the affirmations mentally while walking for an hour.

I used them during the virus crazy times as well. "The heavenly Father is with me, I am protected." For a believer in God can be useful, for an unbeliever...it's fine to use an affirmation that you chose.

I put them on small notes around the house, the affirmations I mean. On the mirror in the bathroom, on the furniture, everywhere. Until I remembered to use them without having these notes around.

They helped me very much.

 

Yes, I did. I still do sometimes. I've been worse than you, much worse. But I'm fine now, almost always, regardless of the pain.

I read this thread, almost all of it but I have to think about it. I can't respond now. I need more time to think about how to comment.

 

I go through bouts of insomnia. It used to make me nervous and anxious but I realized it comes and goes and I'll sleep and dream eventually again. Funnily enough, I'm going through it right now but it's no big deal, I'll sleep when I sleep. But I hear you. When you're mentally exhausted from sleep, it's difficult to push through and feel motivated. I figure I'll do x or y anyway if I'm tired instead of just sitting and worrying about it. Might as well do something productive with myself.

Mike, do you engage in any physical exercise? Lifting weights? Pilates? Yoga? Simple walking?

 

You know, I was taking Mirtazipine with chinese herbs for sleep (they worked together very well). I was getting a decent amount of sleep and had energy to do Yoga which was great. I was recommended by my doc to stop taking them together as they could cause heart problems. Since stopping Mirtazipine I've not had much energy for Yoga. I still do simple walking though. I'm not working at the moment but I do wonder how do people with severe TMS (incl. insomnia) manage to keep a job.

 

Mike, I think you should look into the circadian rhythm. Exposure to sun'rays in the morning (into the retina), after 5-6 pm no more screens, harsh lights, tv, stimulus etc. If I were you I would take 1/2 of that pill for insomnia and not daily but sometimes. You really need to sleep! Also put your hands or feet on the ground, no shoes. On the grass or soil. No asphalt. It will help your body release the pain and energy. I do this sometimes. Yes, I don't care about what others (strangers) think, what am I doing...

I thought about what I could share regarding my story but I chose not to. I just don't want to think about it anymore.

Ellen has great advice on her profile. I don't know if her story is still there but I have it saved somewhere. She talked about insomnia and how she managed it...and her tips helped me. A lot. I recommend you read her personal story, Mike. Maybe you can find something helpful there, you never know...

Take care.

 

I get the impression that you had a really tough time and I can feel that energy in your message. It looks like you're in a much better place now and I'm happy for you. Fully appreciate the trauma and sometimes it's better to leave the past behind us. I went through a really horrific time in xmas 2024 and was very close to being admitted to a psychiatric centre. The insomnia, pain and anxiety consumed every part of my being. Once I started to sleep better I was able to manage the anxiety and insomnia better. I was only taking a tiny dose of mirtazipine (1.2mg) - standard dose is 15mg - but I was worried about being hooked and antidepressants make biochemical changes in your brain. I also wanted to try LDN for the pain and didn't want to take two drugs at the same time as I'm sensitive to meds. I want my mind to fix things in as close to the natural state as possible. I think that's what Helmut did. Sometimes I feel like I've been marked like Jesus was. Death doesn't scare me anymore. I have far less health anxiety now. What will be will be. It's years of endless suffering that makes me anxious and I try by best to believe TMS = Temporary Mind Syndrome. It must be temporary, right?

 

Mike, I am sorry for your situation. I honestly cannot fathom what you’re going through, your struggle very clearly comes across in your words. Everyone has given good feedback. You’re clearly putting the work in. I guess my question to you, is how much joy are you finding in your day to day life? Do you have hobbies that you engage in, any activity that you look forward to doing? Something to do in these shitty awful moments, not as a distraction, not something related to TMS work, but a “I deserve to find joy even in these awful moments.”. I hope I’m not coming across as condescending that is not my intention, I can empathize with the horror of everything seeming utterly f’d, and it feeling pointless and borderline impossible to engage in life. For me personally when I stop engaging in the things I want to do, and just retreat into myself, and numb myself with screen time or just flat out spiraling in my mind, everything gets worse.

 

I don't dream like other people. I mean...only rarely and there is almost always a clear, wise message in my dreams. Like guidance from ... I don't know...my higher self, God, a spiritual being. I have no idea. And it doesn't really matter. But at a certain point (some years ago) I had this dream: "You have to accept it! You have to accept it!" And it was very helpful for me. I thought about it many many times, many years. To accept what? But the answer is: "To accept all of it. Good and bad. All of it as it is. And to move on."

That's the answer.

 

“I don't dream like other people. I mean...only rarely and there is almost always a clear, wise message in my dreams.”

Me too Sita.
Last one was about confronting evil by looking in the eye and calling it out. Bone chilling but empowering!