Acute Life stressors while coping with TMS

Hello all. I hope everyone isnt getting tired of me posting questions. If so please let me know,seriously!

I know this is NOT a substitute for therapy but I just learned that a guy I knew who was only 36 and was diagnosed CPRS who endured a lot of Ketamine infusion sessions with me in May and June killed himself. I was at the clinic inquiring about insurance issues and I said to the nurse tell Matt I said hello. She looked at me oddly but I didn't think anything of it. When my husband I left he told me the nurse pulled him aside and told him Matt passed away. So of course I was in shock and saddened...then only a few hrs ago my husband told me that he killed himself.
First of all I was angry that the nurse divulged this unless his family gave her permission esp the suicide part. Second I vasciallte between my last words with him to profound sadness to shock.

This by far is the biggest life stressor going on now but not.the only major one. 2 family members have some serious health issues to the point of possible hospitalization.

How do you all cope with major life stressors while trying to tend to keeping your TMS in check esp if you are not yet in remission and having alot of flare ups? Before TMS I worked 2 jobs, went to grad school and tended to sick family members grounded and without losing it. Now I can't even make a decision or cope with anything aside from TMS and find myself second guessing everything I do. I feel like a selfish foolish person who needs to get her shit together...hence my going to therapy. But in the interim...any advice would be appreciated!

Thanks so much!