Day 8 About connecting emotions with pain

prisd

prisd

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I'm not really noticing my bladder pain associated with emotions, honestly. It's mainly because I have a low level pain/frequency/urgency all throughout the day, every day. It doesn't really spike or anything, unless I eat some acidic or spicy food. I also think I have more pain towards the end of the day than when I wake up, but that might be related to having tight pelvic floor muscles that have to work more through the day than at night.

But what I did notice that was really interesting, is that a few weeks ago, I had extreme nausea all of a sudden. I also had on-again, off-again nausea during the holidays and was scared I might have IBS. My mom was over, and I went to lay down on the bed because of the nausea, and couldn't join them for dinner. Then, as soon as she left, the nausea left and I ate a ton of dinner. I was amazed at how direct the link was. I never would have noticed it before I had learned about TMS, and probably would have thought it was just some bug that magically disappeared.

Day 8, I wrote my "Unsent Letter" to my mother.
 
Several people have been posting that they are having a problem with the TMS concept that we must feel our emotions causing our pain. I am not a psychiatrist so my thoughts on this matter are strictly my own.

prisd, your mother's visit obviously made you sick. You felt like throwing up and couldn't eat, but felt fine after she left. Looks to me like that is at least one big thing causing you pain of one kind or another. You need to do some good journaling about your relationship with your mother. Believe me, I loved my mother and am sure she loved me, but she was definitely her own person and had lots to give her migraines. She married four times (twice to my birth father) an d I won't go into how that made me feel a lack of stability. My older brother said he loved mom but didn't like her.

Your subconscious sent you nausea so you think about your relationship with your mother. I suggest you try to put yourself in her house slippers and see if you can understand her better and hopefully forgive her (and yourself if necessary.)

It was great that you wrote a long letter to your mother, but didn't send it. I think we should all try to love our mother, warts and all. The same goes for loving everyone. Forgiving is a key to healing emotionally and physically.
 
Hug yourself. Hug everyone. Hug everyone.

If you haven't been watching "Downton Abbey," it is fantastic. Best thing I've seen in many years.
It's full of wisdom, love, and humor.
 
I have forgiven my Mother. It took me awhile to get there. I was so angry at for a lifetime of excruciating pain and depression. I realize now the deep insecure and fear she has suffered all her life (as have I). I love her deeply.

Even 5 years out of the TMS program I have variety of physical symptoms when I am around her. I fear her rejection and the fear of not being good enough to get her love. But I have awareness and the tools to manage myself. You will too.
 
Stella, I am so glad to know you have forgiven your mother. Try not to let your Inner Bully give you feelings of rejection and not being worthy of geteting her love. Mothers love their children no matter what and if they don't always show it. My mothers wasn't perfect, but she tried real hard and had to endure a lot of sadness in her life, as yours did. Maybe now just pray for mutual love.
 
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