AA member keen TMS advice

[leonardo999]

Can I ask a little question.... and as Im quite new to this forum and TMS...I have no ideas..... but my girlfriend asked me this... and I have no answers as yet.
She has been almost a life long AA member... dry for 25 yrs. Serious issues with everything imaginable in her early years.... now 54... bad stuff.
She is very keen to learn about TMS as she is wrecked physically.... and emotionally not great.
Her question to me was...
"Ive been journaling in a similar manner for years as an AA member... all the bad things forgiven.piles of journal writings.. and myself forgiven too.... so what would be the next step for me ?

Sorry if its a bit of an awkward question....

thanks... Leo

 

[Steve Ozanich]

That's a great question Leo. I've heard it many times before. The answer has many nuances. Sometimes we think we have forgiven, we want to so much, we know it's right to do so, we go through the motions of it. We feel we have, but deep inside we still hurt. But--it's possible that you have indeed forgiven. Then remains the cause.

Forgiveness is only one piece of the healing puzzle. You also have to change how you presently react to life. TMS is an over response to symptoms and daily life. You can forgive, but what if your sympathetic nervous system keeps over reacting? There are conditioned responses, and triggers everywhere that go beyond forgiveness.

The most important factor in healing is belief. Dr. Sarno would always ask people if they could accept the diagnosis? That means, could you fully accept that your body is ok, even though it shows symptoms? To consciously accept it means little. It has to be unconsciously accepted to heal.

So it is not simple knowledge, or as easy as forgiveness, although I believe a lack of forgiveness is the major cause of suffering.

Fear is the factor that perpetuates health problems. It's not an easy task to ask people to never fear. TMS is a puzzle in itself, and the only one who can put it together is the sufferer. Keep asking questions. Healing takes awareness and time. The brain changes slowly, but more weight is given by the brain to negative aspects for survival. You need to fill your mind with accurate thinking, and goodness. We put more weight to the negative for survival purposes. The stick is more important than the carrot to the primitive self. You have to pour light into the mind to reverse the flow. Never give up, keep integrating the right things and you will change. It happens often. But you have to seek out what the right things are and reverse the false beliefs over time.

Seek and ye shall find, ask and it will be given.

Steve

 

[leonardo999]

Hello Steve

Thanks for the valued information.
I have passed on your post and the reply was very helpful to her and for me too.
It does take a while to grasp the concepts of TMS...even just the basics.
She is very keen to make a start and this will help...

Best regards...Leooooo

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Steve is absolutely right. Totally accept the TMS theory that our pain and alcohol problems are from repressed emotions.
Believe it 100 percent. I also suggest you both start Dr. Alan Gordon's TMS Pain Recovery program, offered free on TMSWiki.org/forum. Good luck!

 

[leonardo999]

Hello Walt
Thanks for your reply.
Ive been looking through the TMS Recovery program and yes it seems the way to go. Will give it a try for sure.....
Best regards
Leooooooo

 

[leslie0766]

Good Morning! I came on here this morning thinking of fear. How timely that I should find this thread. I am realizing that my life has been filled with so many fears and ones that I still struggle with. This morning I had a memory plop down in my head of something that happened a couple years ago that really thrust me into this mess, and my intial response is to try and push it away. Although I know I need to process it, I still feel like I want to shut it out. I'm struggling with it for sure. Strangely enough as well, I lost my job contract recently and have found nothing in my field for work in the near future. I am not afraid of the unemployment as we will do fine on my husbands income with some belt tightening, but I am terrified to be alone without a "purpose." I keep telling myself that my purpose is to dig deep within myself and figure all this stuff out, but the daily aloneness is scarey. Leo, my sister is an alcoholic as was my mother. My sister had gone to AA and had been dry for two years but recently started to drink again. I know her lifes pain is just so hard and it is the only way she knows how to control her pain. I don't think we need to find the answers to all those why's and what if's, but I do think we need to acknowledge their existence. I have not had the back problems, but have had a horrible burning mouth and anxiety. I am learning to let go of the hurry up and get over this and plant my feet on this path of self discovery and have a certainty that I will know when I have arrived, and therefore I don't need to search for the ending...does that make sense? I have had great encouragment in the week or so I have been here, so lets keep it up and help ourselves and the ones we love.

 

[leonardo999]

Hello Leslie
Thanks for the post.
I find the aloneness with pain to be my scarey time..... and to an extent we are all alone with our pain.
Although Im just searching the start of the trail... because of the intensity of pelvic pain... for a good part of the day Im in panic mode.... and then through a good part of the night too,,,, and then its hard to sit and read or lay and read.... so I try to sleep and hide from it all. Its been an ongoing thing for many years.
My girlfriend has to work no matter how bad she feels..... no days off even if shes crying with pain from her spine.... and chronic athsma... so for her the program seems very exciting.
Life is very complicated.... and being burried in pain for many years wears you down.... but the thought of some improvements would be awesome... so here we are.
Have a good day.... regards
Leoooooo