Hi TMS Community,
A benefit of this site is to hear about all wins - big and small - and hope some of them will inspire others. Here is a little tale in un-people pleasing.
Our local theatre turned to a 100% reservation system about 6 months ago. I show up today with two kids and I see another mom and her kid in our seats. At first I thought I'd take the side seats (instead of the nice middle seats I reserved). Then, I quickly realized that it made me mad. Instead of just grinning bearing it, I asked the lady to move.
She didn't want to. The people in front of her turned around and said "hey, I just took the seats that were available". Instead of succumbing to the pressure as I always do (and worrying what others thought), I showed her my tickets and said I would like to have my seats. That way, I do not have to move if others arrive and I am in their seats. She asked her young son and he did not want to move. I understand. I am a mom too.
It dawned on me that I have been catering to these kind of people my whole life. I would have apologized and moved right away if I made a seating mistake. Instead, I had to stand there and be firm. When she realized I wasn't backing down or succumbing to the peer pressure of others who were trying to make me feel bad, she finally moved. I had two kids with me too. I get that kids want good seats.
The new me felt good for standing up for something that was rightfully mine. The old me would have sat in the side seats and would have felt angry the whole movie. I admit that I second guessed what I did but why should I cater to people like this? I shouldn't. You are in my seats. Move. No supression. No anger. No anxiety. Being authentic and standing up for yourself is key to avoid brushing your real feelings under the rug.
Some food for thought for today.
Best,
AC45
A benefit of this site is to hear about all wins - big and small - and hope some of them will inspire others. Here is a little tale in un-people pleasing.
Our local theatre turned to a 100% reservation system about 6 months ago. I show up today with two kids and I see another mom and her kid in our seats. At first I thought I'd take the side seats (instead of the nice middle seats I reserved). Then, I quickly realized that it made me mad. Instead of just grinning bearing it, I asked the lady to move.
She didn't want to. The people in front of her turned around and said "hey, I just took the seats that were available". Instead of succumbing to the pressure as I always do (and worrying what others thought), I showed her my tickets and said I would like to have my seats. That way, I do not have to move if others arrive and I am in their seats. She asked her young son and he did not want to move. I understand. I am a mom too.
It dawned on me that I have been catering to these kind of people my whole life. I would have apologized and moved right away if I made a seating mistake. Instead, I had to stand there and be firm. When she realized I wasn't backing down or succumbing to the peer pressure of others who were trying to make me feel bad, she finally moved. I had two kids with me too. I get that kids want good seats.
The new me felt good for standing up for something that was rightfully mine. The old me would have sat in the side seats and would have felt angry the whole movie. I admit that I second guessed what I did but why should I cater to people like this? I shouldn't. You are in my seats. Move. No supression. No anger. No anxiety. Being authentic and standing up for yourself is key to avoid brushing your real feelings under the rug.
Some food for thought for today.
Best,
AC45
