...a stumbling block.

[Huckleberry]

I'm well aware I have posted a fair bit recently but I do feel that I am making some progress at long last which is encouraging. One of the things that has sort of helped me recently is seeing the weird discrepancy of my pain pattern in that I have a flare which will last for a couple of days or a week or whatever only to receade and then to return a day or two later...it just seems totally out of character for a physical issue.

Having said this I do have a stumbling block and I think that this has held me back from totally accepting the TMS diagnosis for such a long period. When my pain is not in a flare stage it obviously feels much better than when it is in its usual back burner situation. On a flare my pain seems to incorporate all of my lower left back and hip and also radiates down the side and front of my thigh. When my pain is settled it is actually far more than a niggling discomfort and is pretty much manageable. What has always bothered me however is that during this period I ALWAYS have a specific spot (which correlates to the SI Joint location) that is noticeable. This isn't a pain so much but it actually feels like a stabbing or pulling sensation when I move...there is zero pain or discomfort if the area is pressed or massaged it just feels like an internal 'displacement' when I move. I never feel anything when not moving. Sometimes I think this feels like a muscle pulling but then other times I fall into the trap of thinking if feels more like a joint dysfunction...the fact that my pain radiates from the is spot on a flare always seems to pull me back into the physical and the doubting of TMS.

I suppose I'm just wondering if this localised feeling of something amiss is a known TMS issue as I don't think I've really heard anyone mention it. I know this isn't a trigger point or anything as like I say it is totally fine to the touch etc. Interested to here opinions.

 

[Ryan]

Huckleberry,

I'm glad your making progress that is awesome. It gives you a sense of hope, which is a key in healing from tms. Some take longer than others so don't get discouraged.

However, you need to stop scanning your body. If you continue to fear symptoms they will keep coming. Let go of scanning your body and rating the different types of pain you have. If you have been checked out medically, you should be ok. Empower yourself to overcome the fear of symptoms. This was one of the most important steps in my recovery and recovery in tms. As the great doctor said, if one is preoccupied with the symptoms and keeps scanning the body for them the symptoms will persists. You need to start looking at how you react to life and treat yourself. You have tms because of something mental not physical.

You can empower yourself if you choose to, it's not impossible. Each time the symptoms arise it gives you a opportunity to change your relationship with the fear. It's a chance to recognize that the symptom is there but don't go into the spiral of oh no and having doubt. As Carl Jung said, what you resists will persists. Let go and stop living in your head, start living life. Be present as much as possible and give gratitude for the little things in life. Life will not give you more than you can handle. Pain and suffering makes us grow and change as people.

Hope this helps, best of luck with your recovery. You will heal keep at it. We are what we believe.

Ryan

 

[Huckleberry]

Cheers Ryan.

Yeah...I know that the preoccupation stoke the flames and feeds into the fear.

Its weird as at the moment when I'm on a painful flare even though I'm in pain I almost find that easier to accept as TMS as it seems to be overplaying its hand so to speak. This niggly and constant stabby pain just throws me into the structural mindset as it just feels so structural...its not the typical achy and stiff feeling but rather like something rubbing together...I know that probably sounds daft.

I agree with what you are saying about changing my relationship with the symptoms when they arise and I do honestly feel I have made good progress with this when the pain has flared but it is so annoying that the little constant feeling which is with me all the while is proving to be a stumbling block...its like every movement that generates just jolts me into the structural. Grrrr.