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A Rage Page

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Bodhigirl, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    I needed a rage page. Posted in All the Rage, the film's page, because it was the closest thing I could find.
    May this be a page to confess rageful feelings aloud, and safely.
    I love that the TMS forums are not full of trolls or unkindness. Guess we goodists know how to get along.
    Too tired to rehash, but suffice to say I was enraged today and all I needed was empathy. No advice, nothing. Just "yeah, I get it, you're rageful."
    Feels so much better now, and NO PAIN.
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Bodhigirl likes this.
  3. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Was searching Rage Page thinking there must be a thread for rage. I found out about the Sarno film by searching and posting there. I got a lovely answer back... gosh, we need support! All sentient beings need kindness, safety, authenticity. It is a warm bath to receive it - a balm for the rage without trying to fix it.

    I want an enclave for letting it OUT.
    So, I figured out how to make a safe rage page here with keywords to find it. May you all be free from suffering as you let rage be just a real part of our human experience.

    For now, suffice to say I had my heart broken yesterday, when I learned that a 12 year old patient of mine was told by his controlling and cruel dad that a meditation app for his phone was given to him by his mom so that I could SPY on him! And that the hypnotherapy we did for OCD and acute stress symptoms was brainwashing.
    I have no path to take but to feel the incredible pain and helplessness, and subsequent rage... I am simply STUNNED at this man's cruelty.
    My whole body buzzes with tension when I think about it, can only process it in small bits and pieces with a few very safe people.
    This is why I need a RAGE PAGE. Maybe you need one, too?
    Palms together,
  4. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    What a shame that the father is sabotaging his son's therapy. I'm sorry you and the boy had to experience it.
  5. Orion2012

    Orion2012 Well known member

    I'm enraged by several incompetent managers at work. Thanks to corporate dysfunction, I have four bosses. One is smart, kind and thoughtful, but the others!: a half-wit buffoon, a passive-aggressive control freak, and a duplicitous delusional narcissist. I work in a mental health agency where the management is in worse shape than the clients. But we must simply forgive, right?
    Bodhigirl likes this.
  6. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    http://luke173ministries.org/ (Luke 17:3 Ministries Inc For Adult Daughters of Controlling or Abusive Birth-Families)

    That is focused on womens issues , but it's a great source for clarity for anyone. I have had a tough time in the past 'forgiving' people who continue to harm me.... meaning I forgive them, they do it again, I forgive them again, they do it more, I forgive them again, they do it harder.

    What did JC say ? Seven times seventy? I have told my sons.... "Ya'all are Soooo at 491" LOL

    Forgiveness means looking through someone shortcomings to the authentic person inside.... not ignoring bad behavior. My GF has been a source of lot of my TMS. She finally snapped and turned to violence. I forgave her....that doesn't mean I have to spend any time with her or make my self available for more abuse.

    check out that website. Even if you are not a christian it has a lot of excellent insights on the topic of forgiveness

    oh yeah... anger is a normal response to continued stupidness
    Bodhigirl and Tennis Tom like this.
  7. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    I only forgive once I have thoroughly convicted someone of a harm, otherwise it's cheap forgiveness and not helpful.
    I also don't let the same person do the same thing too often. Except for my husband. I choose to live with him so consistent forgiveness helps - holding on to resentments is surely fodder for symptoms of TMS.
  8. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    "holding on to resentments is surely fodder for symptoms of TMS."

    absolutely. However it is the secret ones that go completely underground that are the worst. I am in a 12 step group and part of it is regularly inventorying resentments to look at our part, clean our side of the street and move on.... the TMS tickles are sometimes there to remind me I missed a glaring one!

    We are in a little bind with TMS. Forgiveness is the most important core of the spirit realm, but as you said "I only forgive once I have thoroughly convicted someone of a harm, otherwise it's cheap forgiveness and not helpful."

    Spot on! Game, set, match!
  9. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I think I used to work there :)
    Bodhigirl likes this.
  10. MWsunin12

    MWsunin12 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I worked with a sociopath narcissist man and two totally passive aggressive women. I made myself sick over it. Everything is their perspective and selling their own lies.

    Usually people catch on to their game pretty quickly. You've probably noticed that they don't want to be around anyone they can't control.

    I can tell you this: I spent a year of my life and my health trying to figure out how to work with them. It can't be done.
    Another thing I realized is that they LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE knowing they have you thinking about them or trying to figure out ways to work with them.

    Leaving your job probably isn't an option, so here's what I ended up doing and it worked. Go completely neutral. Go reaction-free when you're around them. Don't TRY to figure anything out. Do your job and no matter what their response is...go neutral. Don't look mad or worried or pressured or any of it. Stay as expressionless in face and body as you can. At first, you have to fake it, but it will come pretty easy faster than you think.

    Your emotions will follow suit. You won't keep hurting yourself over something that is "crazy"...and it will also take away their game.
    Once your rage about them calms down, either they won't bother you anymore...or life will probably move you on to a different position.
    Ellen and Bodhigirl like this.
  11. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Loved your response to not giving the difficult personalities any power. Go Neutral is amazing counsel!
    It's a disarming technique we could all use a bit more practice with... as recovering goodists.
  12. Orion2012

    Orion2012 Well known member

    Wise words, indeed. Also forgiveness, rather than righteous anger, should he embraced as much as possible for interacting with these personality types.
    MWsunin12 likes this.

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