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A quick question

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Bob, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Bob

    Bob New Member

    what do you tell people when they ask you how you are, nearly everyone I know asks me how my back is, never reallly sure what to tell them now?
  2. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    I like your question. I do think it depends on who is asking and if you feel like sharing your TMS approach with that person. In any case I don't feel it works to say that it feels fine when it isn't, but I also feel it is wise not to let your back become the focus point of the conversation. Here are some possible answers:

    'It should be fine, only the back of my mind still has difficulty accepting that.' This will raise question marks, so be prepared to explain your answer further and take the risk of getting the 'you're nuts' stare.

    'Thanks for asking, it's not fine but I decided to stop evaluating.' If you want to avoid further questions, just redirect the conversation with a simple 'but anyway, how are you?'.

    would love to see other answers....
  3. Bob

    Bob New Member

    Yes not sure I am there with telling them I have TMS still sorting it out myself,in the past my back has been the topic of the whole conversation which made me focus on it even more, I was bob with the bad back, now I just say I’m on the mend, was just interested to what approach other people took.
    Thank you for taking time to reply to my post
  4. Lainey

    Lainey Well known member


    "Deciding to stop talking about my pain altogether" is one of the conversations you might want to read, found in this forum, sometime in August 2017. It is a topic many of us grapple with. Some of the entries there may offer you some ideas on how to best approach your friends, family, etc. when asked the 'back" "hip" etc question.
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Bob, your work with TMS begins to change your own self-identity. It is important to find ways of not even talking about it until you have a really good solid recovery. It is your private, inner work right now. Protect it!
    Lainey likes this.
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    What I mean is that in conversation you run the risk of either raising doubtful response and feeback from others, which is not at all helpful, or the risk of focusing on pain and issues from the past, which re-enforces, subtly, that you're not doing well.

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