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A little setback and questions

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Ducman, Mar 5, 2018.

  1. Ducman

    Ducman New Member

    I have been on this journey about 4 weeks and I have read about 4 books on the subject and have been journaling every few days. Progress has been very good as I have been walking 4 miles a day and feeling much better. I work at home and my productivity has really increased, so I have a good way of quantifying my abilites.
    Last night I woke up from a dream that really didnt mean much to me, but my back was aching alot. I was angry. I tried to talk my way through the pain, but nothing seem to help. I then started getting a little anxious as my analytical mind tried to figure out why the pain now. The more I analysed, the more anxious I got. Oh, also yesterday I decided I would start playing golf again after a taking a year off. The last time I played I hit too many balls on the driving range (I really did hit for a long time) and that started a bad downward spiral into more and more pain. Not saying it was the cause, as I have been struggling for 23 years.
    So my question is what do I do about it? Just keep reading, journaling, etc.? When I get this way I feel like there is something inside my mind that needs to be discovered. I realize that my entire life (am 65), I have always avoided how situations affected me and have taken the high road (the good perfect in me). I feel like I have denied me for so many years. I assume the path to health is to get in touch with the feelings that I suppressed all these years? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
  2. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    That's a lot of insight you gained in four weeks, which is great!
    The best thing to do is to go to the driving range and hit some balls if possible. If your back is too painful right now, just be patient but don't back off from the plan to eventually pick up golf again, as that is exactly what your brain is trying to accomplish.
    Kevin Barry likes this.
  3. Ducman

    Ducman New Member

    Ok, thanks much.
  4. Tiny

    Tiny New Member

    Yes, Ducman, keep going! Keep reminding yourself that there's nothing wrong with your body. Focus on your mind and what's bothering you at the moment. And just explore those feelings. Get mad, get sad, get jealous, whatever. Yes, getting in touch with those feelings you've suppressed all your life is important, but (in my opinion) is even more important is to recognize that nothing is wrong with your body. That this pain is temporary and will go away once you've sorted your thoughts out. Don't be scared. Go golf!
    Kevin Barry likes this.
  5. Ducman

    Ducman New Member

    thanks for the encouragement. I did play golf yesterday (9 holes). When I woke up before playing I was a bit anxious and my back was hurting more! It goes to show the mind and the body pain can be connected. I went anyway and finished and had a good time. Its funny because I was playing with an 85 year old women who I have known for a few years. I feel kinda stupid when I say I have pain, and I see what she has gone through and she still plays every week. She has had to change her swing so much, I marvel she can even hit the ball, but she actually plays pretty good. Just goes to show when there is a will there is a way. She asked how my back was doing and I told her a bit better now that I pretty much threw out all that the docs said about my back. She retorted "it took you all these years to figure that out" and then laughed.

    I was a bit sore and last night woke up with alot of pain. This morning am a bit better. So I am trying to learn to not focus on the pain, because that is what my subconcious wants me to do. I have been doing it for so long it will just take time to unlearn. Its like a bad habit. Listening another of Sarnos books when I walk the dog. I get so much out his writings.

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