I know that we really have to ACCEPT that our health problems are caused by our brains to distract us, and I do. I have no structural reason to be suffering. But, I'm scared to really really commit, in case this doesn't work. I sort of feel like I'm up against an adversary who is stronger and more competitive than I am...and who will win. It sounds silly but is logical - what you don't try, you can't fail. I so badly want to get better but I am in such a bad place right now that I cannot imagine it would be possible and am worried that my brain is just going to up the stakes, obstinate as it is. Today, I've had some of the pain move to my right thigh. It's never been there before and I had a little indulgent laugh at it - the way you'd laugh at a kid trying to be sneaky - but, even with this "proof", the stubborn part of my brain managed to interject the thought, "Well, that's normal, you had physio so it's probably just the effects of that". I want to smack my brain.