A little rant and fear-based TMS

So, this is my 3rd week into my new job and I love it! This is so much different than my previous job - I actually get a voice! I only work 30 hours a week, so I’m not totally exhausted and work in a small building, with only about 15 people. I am learning new and exciting things every day, and best yet, I’m not pressured to meet a deadline that seems overwhelming.

That being said, my pain has come back, but this time, it’s on my left side, under the breast bone, and the middle of my back - which is really rare. Granted, I have been doing a ton of things, such as painting our front door and railings. I also swept and mopped like crazy last Sunday, have been to a theme park, out of state, doing a ton of walking, and basically enjoying summer. Of course, that shouldn’t matter, because that’s not where the pain is originating.

I’m pretty sure I know why my pain has returned. In less than 3 months, we are going to Thialand, and three years ago, we were supposed to go, but the very day we were going to be there, that bomb went off in the airport. For some reason, we (my husband’s company) decided not to go. It was a good thing too!

Now, though, everytime he brings up going there, I get tense and change the subject. When we went to the theme park last week with my husband’s company, they talked about it then. Immediately, my back started hurting! Obviously, I’m afraid. But, the thing is, I don’t have any choice to go, since this is company paid for and my husband would never forgive me. However, I feel stuck and possibly resentful, I don’t have a choice.

So...TMS is taking full advantage of my fear, but I can’t be having this pain - I work at a great job now!! Grrrr...

Any suggestions or advice? @plum @MindBodyPT @Ellen @Alan Gordon LCSW

I can’t have this hanging over my head.

TIA.

 

Jules, this is a job you like?

I'm new to the whole TMS thing as I only heard about this concept a couple of weeks ago.

When I started a job I really liked in 2015, I developed stomach symptoms like acid reflux and had to watch every single thing I ate. Same thing when I got a job I liked in 2017. The thing is, sometimes if you really like something, you might be AFRAID to lose it. On top of that, if you have a fear about going on a trip, that is probably adding to some stressors you are facing in the present.

I think maybe you need to think if it's not so much the trip bothering you, but something else that is adding to that stress.