I'm supposed to write a list of past traumatic events and experiences. I read that first thing this morning, 12 hours ago. The drama that rose in my mind was exhausting, to say the least. A tiny glimpse of what went through my brain this morning... What traumatic experiences? My childhood was nearly perfect. What, am I supposed to dredge up every memory and find that I'm repressing negative emotions? Find problems where there are none? I don't even remember most of my childhood. Oh, maybe I'm blocking it, maybe that's why I remember so little about it, are there really things that happened then that still affect me now? That's way too much drama, I hate drama. Well, I remember that I was not emotional. To the point where my friends, when I was 14, had me watch Beaches because they were trying to get me to finally cry about something. I did not. So great, now I have decades of emotions that I've suppressed? Which ones are important, if any? How do I know if they are important or if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill? So all that going through my head while the pain is rising. It's no wonder I've become brilliant at shutting it all off. My mind just goes around in circles and finds no clarity, just anxiety. I took a nap this afternoon. I feel better but now I need to make these lists. This is me procrastinating. Not looking forward to it.