I chose to write a letter to a personality trait which I call "Helper and Savior". I have worked with this trait for a good deal of years alredy, but the letter helped me take the next step. When I was a child, I suffered serious neglect and today I felt deep in my bones, that the only action I could actually take back then, was to try to fix my parents (to ensure my own survival...). When I'm in depression, apathy and anxiety I still like to reach out to help other people not really knowing what to do to help myself (and often I feel neglected after helping others when I'm in bad state myself). For many years I used to say that the human rights did not apply to me... I have no right whatsoever, I just work. I have definitely identified emotionally with the "Helper and Savior" believing that this what I am - this is my reason for being. It's not the truth, of course, it's a role, it's my deepest and last straw when nothing else works. Saving someone else, rescueing them, fixing them so that they can help (fix) me... Today the depts of this became clear on an emotional level, and along with this the feeling that it's over. I'm a grown-up woman soon to be 51, I don't need to save anybody - and I don't need saving either, and this is I think by far the most important. The clue is not saving. The clue is being present, right here with my feelings and emotions, being a grown up, knowing that no feeling or emotion can ever hurt me!, that I'm able to stand by all parts of me. And when I do that, when I allow whatever is (not reacting to it), I will know deep down which action is right and when. My "Helper and Savior" transformed on the surface into empathy, understanding and heart to meet others in all aspects of life some 10 years ago - but I have felt left on the bench. What then??? What about me??? Now I know. Feel the emotions. Just feel. And listen. Then I'll know.