A few beers

[Wcs_Michfan]

Hello All - posted her a few times over the years. My saga is too long to go though but I'm on year 8. The list of symptoms is just sooo long - I wont bore you. Currently, I just had meniscus surgery after having 2 opinions saying it needed surgery. Now I wish I wouldn't have done it as the pain post surgery is worse than before - although it's only been 2 weeks. My fear is through the roof that I might never walk again w/o severe pain.

Anyway - since the start of my journey - I've noticed one significant thing with all my symptoms: The severity of my symptoms goes WAY down when I have a beer or two. Not talking drunk here - just a few beers. I'm not someone that wants to rely on booze to reduce my symptoms - but I'd be lying if I said it was a welcome reprieve from what has become constant 24/7 chronic pain.

Was wondering if anyone has heard of this? If this indicates that TMS is the likely culprit? And if so - how do I apply this state of mind in a sober state? And any other thoughts you might have. Thank you.

 

[BloodMoon]

Was wondering if anyone has heard of this? If this indicates that TMS is the likely culprit? And if so - how do I apply this state of mind in a sober state? And any other thoughts you might have. Thank you.

I thought this was interesting, so I asked perplexity.ai and this is what it came up with...

Alcohol reduces mind/body symptoms primarily by affecting neurotransmitters and neural circuits involved in stress, anxiety, and inhibition, especially in regions like the amygdala and basal lateral amygdala (BLA).

Neurobiological Mechanisms

GABAergic Enhancement: Alcohol acutely increases the release and activity of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), an inhibitory neurotransmitter, boosting neural inhibition and producing a calming, sedative effect much like anti-anxiety medications.

Amygdala Dampening: Alcohol suppresses activity in the amygdala, a brain region responsible for threat and fear responses, which helps reduce feelings of stress and anxiety soon after drinking.

Reduced Corticotrophin-Releasing Factor (CRF) Stress Signaling: Alcohol impacts CRF circuits in the amygdala, reducing stress signals and contributing to feelings of relaxation.

Inhibition of Excitatory Transmission: Alcohol increases inhibitory signals and reduces excitatory transmission, tipping the balance toward relaxation and lessened mind/body symptoms in the short term.

Behavioral and Subjective Effects

After consuming alcohol, individuals commonly report feeling less anxious, less stressed, and more relaxed due to reduced inhibition by the brain's control centers.

Alcohol can take your mind off troubles and produce a pleasant “destressing” effect for a short duration.

Limitations and Risks

As blood alcohol content falls, neural effects reverse, and symptoms like anxiety, sadness, or agitation can rebound or worsen.

Habitual use of alcohol for symptom relief leads to tolerance, dependence, and greater long-term vulnerability to emotional and physical distress.

Alcohol’s ability to reduce mind/body symptoms is rooted in its direct impact on neurotransmitters and stress circuits within the brain, especially those regulating fear, anxiety, and inhibition.

To get the relaxing, stress-reducing, and mood-lifting effects of alcohol, many healthier alternatives and proven techniques are available, including specific herbal blends, functional beverages, lifestyle habits, and mind–body practices.

Functional Drinks and Herbal Alternatives

Functional drinks like kava, Sentia, Three Spirit, and IMPOSSIBREW use herbs such as L-theanine, ashwagandha, valerian root, lemon balm, and passionflower to activate the brain’s GABA pathways for calm, social ease, and relaxation—without intoxication or hangovers.

Many non-alcoholic “social drinks” incorporate adaptogens and nootropics to mimic alcohol’s calming and mood-lifting effects.
CBD-infused beverages, nootropic sodas, and alcohol-free botanical elixirs are increasingly available in the UK and globally.

Lifestyle and Mind–Body Practices

Exercise of any type releases endorphins and can give a natural “feel-good buzz” as well as relieve stress.

Deep breathing exercises, meditation, and mindfulness reliably engage the body’s relaxation response, lowering stress hormones and anxiety levels.

Laughter, social connection, creative outlets, hobbies, and time outdoors also help restore calm and lift mood without relying on alcohol.

Self-Regulation Techniques

Guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, or simple stretching routines can soothe bodily tension and decrease the need for chemical stress relief.

Balanced nutrition, good sleep habits, and limiting caffeine further support resilience against stress and mind/body symptoms.
Opting for these alternatives provides relaxation, reduced anxiety, and social comfort—mimicking the calming effects of alcohol but supporting better long-term mind–body health.

Does alcohol work to lessen non-psychogenic pain?

Alcohol can reduce non-psychogenic (physical) pain in the short term, especially at moderate-to-high doses, by raising pain thresholds and dampening pain perception, but this effect is generally modest and influenced partly by psychological factors. Most controlled studies in healthy humans show that alcohol increases pain tolerance and decreases pain intensity following experimental physical (nociceptive) pain, though the effect is not as strong for all pain types or methods of pain induction. Findings suggest that alcohol acts more strongly on the discomfort and affective (emotional) component of pain than on pure physical intensity.

Short-term, moderate alcohol use may be associated with reduced pain severity and interference in everyday physical pain, and some evidence shows people may use alcohol for self-medication in response to certain pain episodes. However, chronic or excessive alcohol use worsens long-term pain outcomes, contributes to neuropathic pain, and increases the risk of developing chronic pain through changes in the nervous system.

In summary, while alcohol can blunt physical/non-psychogenic pain in the short term, especially discomfort and distress, its analgesic effects are inconsistent, moderate at best, and strongly outweighed by longer-term risks of increased pain and harm.

 

[Rabscuttle]

Alcohol is a depressant, so it’s going to slow/dull the nervous system, I imagine with that can come decreases in pain. You’re also just more relaxed from it. Also it’s a toxin, so the brain may be more focused on getting it out of your system than it is on transmitting pain signals.

that said, you’re in a delicate position. You just had surgery, you need to give yourself some grace, 2 weeks really isn’t that long for meniscus surgery, especially in an area of the body that you’ve experienced pain for sometime. You catastrophizing right now is doing you absolutely zero favors. And if you expect this awful outcome of being in pain forever, it will be a self fulfilling prophecy, you’ll fixate on the area and be the thing that keeps the pain going. I made this mistake with a vasectomy and dealt with months of hell because I OBSESSED over the pain, spent months regretting my decision, beating the absolute shit of myself over it. I’m through that journey now.

you’re TMS aware, so you at least have the base knowledge. Idk I really think the main thing you need at this time is to just find some self compassion and some healthy outlets that bring joy, any hobbies, exercises you can do while seated/without using your legs, anything, so you’re not just focusing on post surgical pain and ways to numb it. Meditation is definitely something to prioritize.

hopefully not coming across condescending or trivializing, I know none of this is easy. I just see so much of your mindset with me when I was in absolutely sheer terror at the reality I made for myself. I saw no way out and just chased different things to numb the pain.

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

Thanks to both of you. You've got me pegged Rabscuttle. I've been through so much the last 8 years. 40+ doctors, Mayo Clinic, ALS on the table at one point and the list just goes on and on. Went from being a marathon runner to having trouble making it to the bathroom. Then severe knee pain developed this year. Had sworn off doctors, but this was just so real. So of course they found a tear in my meniscus. Two doctors said it had to be operated on - but I had my doubts. Anyway - finally decided to go through with it and it's been an awful two weeks. Shooting pains in the kneecap at about a 9 level etc. Waking me up at night. I guess I'm just kind of done at this point. I've tried to overcome this for almost a decade. Its robbed me of my life. Nobody can relate to it my life - so I don't bring it up with anyone. I just deal with it all on my own. I just can't go on this way the rest of my life - currently 52. I'm spent.

I appreciate your response though. I know you can relate. I just can't believe this type of thing happened to me. Its just the worst in every way.

 

[Rabscuttle]

Thanks to both of you. You've got me pegged Rabscuttle. I've been through so much the last 8 years. 40+ doctors, Mayo Clinic, ALS on the table at one point and the list just goes on and on. Went from being a marathon runner to having trouble making it to the bathroom. Then severe knee pain developed this year. Had sworn off doctors, but this was just so real. So of course they found a tear in my meniscus. Two doctors said it had to be operated on - but I had my doubts. Anyway - finally decided to go through with it and it's been an awful two weeks. Shooting pains in the kneecap at about a 9 level etc. Waking me up at night. I guess I'm just kind of done at this point. I've tried to overcome this for almost a decade. Its robbed me of my life. Nobody can relate to it my life - so I don't bring it up with anyone. I just deal with it all on my own. I just can't go on this way the rest of my life - currently 52. I'm spent.

I appreciate your response though. I know you can relate. I just can't believe this type of thing happened to me. Its just the worst in every way.

I am truly sorry for what you’re going through. I dealt with knee pain on and off throughout my life (since my late teens, am 31 now), I know how shitty it is, mine wasn’t as severe as yours but it was enough to keep me really fearful from exerting myself during sports. Prior to my vasectomy, my knees were really bad, I remember playing in a pretty competitive pick up basketball game and having a moment where I legitimately felt like my knees were going to buckle and snap. I started to become fearful about doing jiu jitsu because I thought someone would hurt my knees. I was actually looking forward to the vasectomy because I figured I would take a month off from sports and let my knees ‘heal’ (at the time I wasn’t TMS aware and didn’t realize the vast majority of my pain was TMS, ). Funnily enough that knee pain went away during the post vasectomy panic days. But those months had me begging for the knee pain again.

I’m not going to sit here and say what I think you need to do, I’ve read your previous posts, you know all this stuff, the journalling the meditations the lessening the fear. I just want to empathize, you’re in the doldrums, your entire outlook is clouded by the unfortunate shittiness you’ve dealt with these past few years, and it’s got you convinced that that is what the future has reserved for you.

Your reality is that you got this surgery. You regretting it now, while normal, is not doing anything for you. That said, you’re in a ton of pain right now, which is at least partially due to post op pain. Are you taking meds? If not, Have you spoken with your doctor? There is nothing wrong with taking meds to get through a rough patch even for TMS pain. I think at this juncture it’s most important to prioritize recovering from this surgery with as minimal catastrophizing as possible. Do you notice your other symptoms have decreased these past 2 weeks?

do you have anyone in your life you can open up to? When we are in these situations depression is common and it can feel like we’re totally alone and that no one, not friends or family could relate to us. And we stop thinking we deserve good things like the ear of a friend, we don’t want to be a burden. I get it, no one in my life truly knows what I’ve been dealing with, but I really wish I had more courage to be vulnerable with people, I don’t even give myself the opportunity to put myself out there, I just assume I’ll be rebuked. Yeah if we put ourselves out there it’s a risk, but if we do the same thing we know what we’re getting and for us tmser, what we’ve been getting typically isn’t that great.

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

I am truly sorry for what you’re going through. I dealt with knee pain on and off throughout my life (since my late teens, am 31 now), I know how shitty it is, mine wasn’t as severe as yours but it was enough to keep me really fearful from exerting myself during sports. Prior to my vasectomy, my knees were really bad, I remember playing in a pretty competitive pick up basketball game and having a moment where I legitimately felt like my knees were going to buckle and snap. I started to become fearful about doing jiu jitsu because I thought someone would hurt my knees. I was actually looking forward to the vasectomy because I figured I would take a month off from sports and let my knees ‘heal’ (at the time I wasn’t TMS aware and didn’t realize the vast majority of my pain was TMS, ). Funnily enough that knee pain went away during the post vasectomy panic days. But those months had me begging for the knee pain again.

I’m not going to sit here and say what I think you need to do, I’ve read your previous posts, you know all this stuff, the journalling the meditations the lessening the fear. I just want to empathize, you’re in the doldrums, your entire outlook is clouded by the unfortunate shittiness you’ve dealt with these past few years, and it’s got you convinced that that is what the future has reserved for you.

Your reality is that you got this surgery. You regretting it now, while normal, is not doing anything for you. That said, you’re in a ton of pain right now, which is at least partially due to post op pain. Are you taking meds? If not, Have you spoken with your doctor? There is nothing wrong with taking meds to get through a rough patch even for TMS pain. I think at this juncture it’s most important to prioritize recovering from this surgery with as minimal catastrophizing as possible. Do you notice your other symptoms have decreased these past 2 weeks?

do you have anyone in your life you can open up to? When we are in these situations depression is common and it can feel like we’re totally alone and that no one, not friends or family could relate to us. And we stop thinking we deserve good things like the ear of a friend, we don’t want to be a burden. I get it, no one in my life truly knows what I’ve been dealing with, but I really wish I had more courage to be vulnerable with people, I don’t even give myself the opportunity to put myself out there, I just assume I’ll be rebuked. Yeah if we put ourselves out there it’s a risk, but if we do the same thing we know what we’re getting and for us tmser, what we’ve been getting typically isn’t that great.

I really appreciate your thoughts and so truly sorry for what you've gone through. You are wise beyond your years (I'm 52). I guess it's hard not to be convinced this is a life sentence. I know that isn't the attitude to have - but 8 years has really worn me down. Sometimes it just feels like - ok, what's next. That's why I don't talk to many people about it - it just sounds so outrageous and hard to believe. Anyway - I appreciate you listening and uplifting thoughts - thank you.

 

[Baseball65]

Was wondering if anyone has heard of this?

Yep.
Before I worked through Sarno and realized pain killers don't kill pain, I noticed that Drinking was more effective then pain killers as a false reprieve.

In fact, I had substance abuse issues for the long portion of my life when I did NOT have symptoms, so there you go!

I just had meniscus surgery after having 2 opinions saying it needed surgery. Now I wish I wouldn't have done it as the pain post surgery is worse than before - although it's only been 2 weeks.

I had a bunch of surgeries and procedures. None of that will stop you from getting better reading Sarno.
You'll probably find out that the surgery was not necessary, but that is nothing to worry about now.

The most important thing is to get a paper copy of "Healing Back Pain" by Sarno and start reading it...every day. Being Men we tend to build up vast reservoirs of repressed rage and modern society isn't doing a lot to relieve it, BUT the good news is we don't need their help. You can get better all by your lonesome.
I am 8 years your senior and work in Hardcore construction. I Imagine if I got MRI's I have tears and 'damage' all over my body. I can still throw a baseball hard, run as fast as my smokers lungs will let me, and I lift weights and hike/jog with my dog every day. The whole 'your getting old and that's why you hurt' is BS. When I occasionally get something, it is always because of ANGER that snuck by me without me paying attention. And it always goes away fast when I give it the attention

Get the book, read it and DM me if you have any questions. We are all here for each other.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I just can't believe this type of thing happened to me. Its just the worst in every way.

I'm going to be even more blunt, @Wcs_Michfan, and say that you seem to be in full victimhood mode, which is completely, 100% antithetical for any kind of recovery. @Rabscuttle makes a good point bringing up depression, as I've frequently seen depression and victimhood hand-in-hand.

Our bodies were designed to recover, period. Why not make the proactive decision that now that it's a done deal, it's perfectly fine to have had these tears "fixed" even if it wasn't strictly necessary? Your TMS brain will resist this mindset, so you're going to have to fight for it.

1. Do all of the recommended PT with a mindset that visualizes full recovery within the expected time period, instead of wallowing in self-recrimination and self-pity after a mere two weeks.

2. Get out your TMS tools and work on the emotional angle. 52 is the perfect age to start experiencing the TMS trigger of aging, which you have to address head-on with all of its terrifying implications instead of burying it with these distractions. I'm 74 and I know what I'm talking about. Acceptance is ultimately the way through every TMS crisis.

3. And by all means, please be mindful and give up on the "Yes, But..." responses! They are the dead giveaway of victim mode!

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

I'm going to be even more blunt, @Wcs_Michfan, and say that you seem to be in full victimhood mode, which is completely, 100% antithetical for any kind of recovery. @Rabscuttle makes a good point bringing up depression, as I've frequently seen depression and victimhood hand-in-hand.

Our bodies were designed to recover, period. Why not make the proactive decision that now that it's a done deal, it's perfectly fine to have had these tears "fixed" even if it wasn't strictly necessary? Your TMS brain will resist this mindset, so you're going to have to fight for it.

1. Do all of the recommended PT with a mindset that visualizes full recovery within the expected time period, instead of wallowing in self-recrimination and self-pity after a mere two weeks.

2. Get out your TMS tools and work on the emotional angle. 52 is the perfect age to start experiencing the TMS trigger of aging, which you have to address head-on with all of its terrifying implications instead of burying it with these distractions. I'm 74 and I know what I'm talking about. Acceptance is ultimately the way through every TMS crisis.

3. And by all means, please be mindful and give up on the "Yes, But..." responses! They are the dead giveaway of victim mode!

Thanks for your thoughts and the "tough love." Guess the 8 years just seems to get the best of me sometimes. That said - I know you're right - and it's really the only way forward. I'd be the first to admit that depression and anxiety are part of the equation now. I really need to visualize a positive outcome on all of this instead of the doom n gloom. Anyway - thank you.

 

[Diana-M]

Hi @Wcs_Michfan,
I hear you on the overwhelming feelings. Sometimes it just feels good to vent. It’s a lot to lose. And the fear waves over you that your life will stay this way forever. Most of the people with TMS have these moments, especially when you lose mobility. (I’ve lost mine for the past two years.) I can’t imagine throwing in some severe pain in post-surgery. I hope that’s getting a little better every day. I’ve heard that knee surgery is really difficult. hopefully some of your darkness will lift as you get better.

But the good news is: you can get rid of this TMS, even though you’ve had it for so long. You just haven’t run across the right answers yet and applied them. And it’s a little different for everybody. So you have to go on a quest. Definitely try Sarno as part of the mix. But there are other options, too. I’ve been getting some relief lately by meditating an hour every day. And doing some somatic tracking. I’m also gaining some traction from a couple of great books. I highly recommend them:

The Secret Language of the Body: Regulate Your Nervous System, Heal Your Body, Free Your Mind, by Jennifer Mann and Karden Rabin.

The Pain Reprocessing Therapy Workbook, by Vanessa Blackstone and Olivia Sinaiko.

A lot of people on this forum and in success stories talk about how TMS ultimately changed their life for the better. That’s what I’m already noticing with the changes I’ve made, even though I still have a lot of symptoms left to lose. Don’t give up hope! We will get there.

 

[Joulegirl]

I second reading The Secret Language of the Body. It's a good book with a lot of somatic practices. I also follow them on instagram and they post really good info on it!

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

So my knee surgery recover is going horribly. I'm now using a walker to get around and barely been able take care of myself. Doctors can't figure out why I'm in so much pain. Going to get more imaging I guess - but I can't help but wonder if this whole thing was/is TMS. I can tell my leg where the knee was "fixed" is really guarded and muscles are tightening around the knee. But there's no getting around it - the pain level can go to a 10 - like someone stabbing me with a knife. So that kind of compounds the muscle tightness and it ends up being a spiral I think. They're now thinking a might have severe patella tendinitis in addition to the meniscus. Id be lying if I said I'm not scared. The last 8 years of struggles I've had - I've still been able to survive. But this time, I feel like I'm on the brink of not being able to take care of myself.

Any thoughts and guidance would be appreciated - thank you.

 

[Rabscuttle]

So my knee surgery recover is going horribly. I'm now using a walker to get around and barely been able take care of myself. Doctors can't figure out why I'm in so much pain. Going to get more imaging I guess - but I can't help but wonder if this whole thing was/is TMS. I can tell my leg where the knee was "fixed" is really guarded and muscles are tightening around the knee. But there's no getting around it - the pain level can go to a 10 - like someone stabbing me with a knife. So that kind of compounds the muscle tightness and it ends up being a spiral I think. They're now thinking a might have severe patella tendinitis in addition to the meniscus. Id be lying if I said I'm not scared. The last 8 years of struggles I've had - I've still been able to survive. But this time, I feel like I'm on the brink of not being able to take care of myself.

Any thoughts and guidance would be appreciated - thank you.

Absolutely go for more imaging for A) ruling out anything obvious and B) to bring peace of mind and belief that it’s TMS because frankly you’re in absolute panic and crawling out of it without the assurance of a negative MRI sounds very difficult.

I really think a situation like this could benefit from a trained mental health professional ideally someone with TMS specialization or awareness at a minimum.

it’s abundantly clear you’re in an incredibly dark place, and I think a situation like this requires more hands on assistance. Not intending any of this an insult, I totally get where you’re coming from.

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

You're in good hands here with these superstars of the TMS forum, but I'll just add a few things:

- I discovered Sarno through dealing with pain post-surgery. (hip in my case) Basically all of the things you described, going from a marathon (ultra-marathon) runner to couldn't do basic care-for-myself things prior to the surgery - was totally helpless after the surgery, was immobilized as part of recovery to the point all I did was lay around - even had double blood clots (pulmonary embolisms in both lungs) in the weeks after surgery sending me to an emergency room multi night hospital stay and blood thinners. All the pain came back after the surgery - but all that was fine because it made me discover the Sarno books and opened my eyes to the life-hack of TMS therapy.

As others have said, you need to stop with the catastrophizing and all that comes with it (googling symptoms etc) and start taking care of yourself.

- Read the success stories on this forum
- Read Sarno's books (and maybe Ozanich's too)
- Make evidence lists
- Write stuff down (journaling)
- Keep a light heart and stop catastrophizing

Here's my knee thread in case you're interested. I've gone from 6-7 years of dealing with "runner's knee" to no pain whatsoever.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/really-struggling-with-knee-pain.25284/

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

Oh! I remembered why I opened this thread...

Beer, and alcohol in general, can absolutely have an effect on symptoms.

Think about it - if TMS theory says that our symptoms come about as a result of rage (or other emotions) that we don't want to deal with - well an uninhibitor like alcohol is sure to remove that right? Makes us literally "not care" so much.

Personal anecdote, I can remember 10+ years before I discovered Sarno I was dealing with some type of runner's injury (i think in this case it was a shin splint that I was worried would be a stress fracture). Went out to dinner with my wife and another couple and had a couple of beers with dinner. Poof! No pain at all that night, but it all came back the next day. Couldn't figure it out then, but I do now.

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

Absolutely go for more imaging for A) ruling out anything obvious and B) to bring peace of mind and belief that it’s TMS because frankly you’re in absolute panic and crawling out of it without the assurance of a negative MRI sounds very difficult.

I really think a situation like this could benefit from a trained mental health professional ideally someone with TMS specialization or awareness at a minimum.

it’s abundantly clear you’re in an incredibly dark place, and I think a situation like this requires more hands on assistance. Not intending any of this an insult, I totally get where you’re coming from.

No offense taken at all. I appreciate your thoughts and think you are right. I'm trying to get some counseling as we speak. Have an appt. with a TMS person next week. Thank You

 

[Rabscuttle]

No offense taken at all. I appreciate your thoughts and think you are right. I'm trying to get some counseling as we speak. Have an appt. with a TMS person next week. Thank You

I’m glad you’re taking this step. Therapy, while not a cure, helped me get out of a really dark period back in March when I was dealing with several severe symptoms at once. I hope it can be helpful in getting you to start believing that you can get out of this. You deserve healing.

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

I’m glad you’re taking this step. Therapy, while not a cure, helped me get out of a really dark period back in March when I was dealing with several severe symptoms at once. I hope it can be helpful in getting you to start believing that you can get out of this. You deserve healing.

I appreciate it - thank you so much. Hope you are doing well.

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

You're in good hands here with these superstars of the TMS forum, but I'll just add a few things:

- I discovered Sarno through dealing with pain post-surgery. (hip in my case) Basically all of the things you described, going from a marathon (ultra-marathon) runner to couldn't do basic care-for-myself things prior to the surgery - was totally helpless after the surgery, was immobilized as part of recovery to the point all I did was lay around - even had double blood clots (pulmonary embolisms in both lungs) in the weeks after surgery sending me to an emergency room multi night hospital stay and blood thinners. All the pain came back after the surgery - but all that was fine because it made me discover the Sarno books and opened my eyes to the life-hack of TMS therapy.

As others have said, you need to stop with the catastrophizing and all that comes with it (googling symptoms etc) and start taking care of yourself.

- Read the success stories on this forum
- Read Sarno's books (and maybe Ozanich's too)
- Make evidence lists
- Write stuff down (journaling)
- Keep a light heart and stop catastrophizing

Here's my knee thread in case you're interested. I've gone from 6-7 years of dealing with "runner's knee" to no pain whatsoever.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/really-struggling-with-knee-pain.25284/

I've read through many of your posts over the last few years. Really well written and has given me hope. Myself and I'm sure the community appreciate your contributions. I will take your words to heart - thank you - I appreciate it.

 

[Wcs_Michfan]

Update: So my walking is down to pretty much nothing at this point after the knee surgery. Can't put much weight on it "usually." If it's straight and has weight on the shooting pain level can be a 10-10 - literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. As a result - I believe I'm starting to guard and it's causing even more pain and can now barely get around. Ive been laying in best for the majority of days catastophizing (I must admit) - but pushed myself to get up and about some today.

Anyway - went and saw the surgeon for my 6 week checkup yesterday and he doesn't know what to make of it. Since I have thigh pain too - he's now wanting a lower lumbar MRI as he thinks it could be a back issue as well. I had the same MRI 6 years ago or so when my saga started and it was pretty much clean. So in other words - I have my doubts it will show anything. He also gave me a steroid shot that's had no effect yet.

So - I'm really starting to believe this all might be TMS......Again. Ugh. It's just so hard to believe when you have a pain level of 10 at times. So hard to not believe you're doing considerable damage with that level of pain. But again - I think the guarding might be causing considerable muscle imbalance that could be causing that level of pain.

I'd like to really push myself and try walking a few hundred yards - but wondering if I should wait for the MRI just to make sure - it's not for a month. And I did have surgery - so hard to know if part of it is still healing. Thanks for thoughts and help as always.