Day 3 A day to learn from...

Im new to the social media scene and posting. I found myself trying to figure out the terms and how to do it correctly and came to realize the perfectionist trait in me was making me mental! Hopefully im doing this right, but if not, c'est la vie.

Came back from a business trip last night and had trouble sleeping. TMS initially started in my back 1.5 yrs ago, but travels around. Lately its been in my left thigh which give me trouble when i walk. I feel like it has been more painful since I have started this program, which is normal, right?!? My leg will spasm and give out, causing my lower back to spasm bringing me down like a bag of dirt. SUCKS!

This morning i hobbled into the bathroom to take a shower. As i tried to step in, the pain struck my leg causing me to slip and fall on my back. Fortunately, i was not hurt, just in massive pain. It took me a life time to get up, taking breaks in between pleading with my sub-conscious, breathing big to help calm my head. Gripping tightly to the sink to stay upright, i endured spasm after spasm that hit my thigh which would set off my back. I believe roughly 30-45min had passed since i fell to the point where i could gingerly walk out and sit on my bed...BRUTAL! My thinking is, as i peel this onion of repressed emotions, i must be getting closer to the root cause since TMS is firing on me heavy lately. Nevertheless, i took the day off so i could focus on ME and MY therapy. I need to learn from this and journal about what happened today.

Anyway, here i am in Day 3. Outside of the physical therapy and occasional trips to the gym to ride the bike that i was doing before this program, the last activity i played was golf in March 2013. This is when my TMS truly began. I love golf and everything about it...even the bad rounds make you look forward to the next time you can try and redeem yourself. More importantly, you are outdoors having fun with your friends.

After reading Dr. Sarnos book, i went out to the range to try and hit balls. It was painful and difficult, but i enjoyed it. Just smelling the grass again and hearing the contact from regular golf swings was nice to be around. Havent been back to the range or to the gym or much of anything since ive started this program. Been busy working on the psychology of it. Honestly, i havent made the time for it. I promised myself and others i would today....then i had that episode this morning. Guess that means its even more important i go to prove to myself i can and not let TMS and my sub conscious take power over me!

Bye for now

 

Hi Vandy,
Sorry to hear about your fall and pain, but appreciate the way you have written about it. I like your determination to try even harder in the face of a set back. That is what it takes to recover from TMS--that and patience and persistence.

Welcome to the Forum! We are glad to have you join us. Keep us informed about how you are doing, and feel free to ask questions or ask for support at any time.

 

Hi Vandy -- I have a story from my life that you may find encouraging. I have my own problems with TMS, and throughout my road to recovery ( making very slow progress, but getting there) I have kept my husband informed of the knowledge I have gathered along the way. I am very lucky as he believes in it all completely and has been enormously supportive. He has had his own health issues ( CFS (recovered from), Rheumatoid Arthritis, 2 replacement hips, terrible pain in his ankle which restricted walking. Anyway, he started to question whether a lot of his problems had also been TMS based and slowly began to do activities that he had avoided for years. Progress, followed progress and in the last few weeks he has started back playing golf. This is something he never dreamt would ever be possible. It was 30 YEARS ago that he had last played!!! He is not without pain, but just ignores it and it isn't getting worse. So, carry on hitting those balls and best wishes.

 

Sorry, just reread my post. NOT 30 years - it is 20 years. Still pretty amazing.
Had to alter it - forever the perfectionist!!

 

Hi, Vandy. You just need to give yourself a chance to recover from that awful fall. When you feel better,
you can go back to the golf range.

I'm 84 and doing well, not sick or in any back pain anymore after TMS healing. But I fell in my bedroom last week
when I looked for some winter shoes under my bed. I fell backwards and my right leg buckled under me.
It scared me but I managed to get up, holding onto the bed, and found that I didn't break anything or hurt my back.
My right leg and ankle is not quite hurting but just mildly not feeling the same as before the fall. I am walking in the house
with no real pain, just know the leg and ankle hasn't fully healed. I took one Advil after the fall a week ago
but not since. I like to tough things out. I do feel I'm getting better.

Sheree, your post also was great. I'm glad your husband believes in TMS and is back to playing golf, even if he has some pain.
Steve Ozanich says that's the thing to do, to resume some physical activity when you can.

Cheers to you both and everyone reading this.

 

Thanks for sharing with me and for the support. This program and website have really helped with my recovery even though im only on Day 6. I look forward tomeach lesson now and know im getting closer to being pain free. There was a time that i thought that wasnt possible. After 24+ hours of painful leg and back spasms, i feel i had a breakthru and actually walked fairly comfortably and confident tonight. Now i feel its possible and attainable.

Perhaps it was my many "Come to Jesus" talks i had with my unconscious throughout the spasms!?! Either way, right now, i feel good...and so does my unconscious mind!!!

 

Hi, Vandy. Not everyone wants to add faith or religious beliefs to their TMS healing but I and many others do and
found it very helpful in healing. You may know about Mother Angelica, founder of the Catholic television station EWTV
(EW for Eterenal Word). She has written some very inspirational books and one of them has the following excerpts
you might find helpful in your "Come to Jesus" talks. If you want more, Google Mother Angelica and you will find
many more excerpts from her books.

Many in the TMS healing community practice The Presence Process in healing, and Mother Angelica speaks of that technique in the following:

Presence Of God

Lord Trinity, I want to be more aware of Your Divine Presence in my soul. I know your life with me is often lonely. I flit from one unimportant thing to another and then when my heart becomes empty and lonely I seek You. Why do I run to You only after all else tails? You are the only Light that guides my path, the only Love that is faithful, the only Strength in time of weakness. Be patient with me, Lord, and grant that some day my mind will have no thought that is not pleasing to You and my heart possess no love stronger than its love

Companionship

There are times, my Jesus, when I like to imagine Your Face and picture how You walked down dusty roads. I like to think You are standing beside me, watching all I do with great love and understanding. Then I realize that once more I have brought You down to my size, encompassed Your Beauty in the narrow realms of my imagery and constrained You in a tiny space beside me. My Lord, this is the only way my poor human nature can arrive at some concept of You. Grant, dear Jesus, that when my imagination pictures You, I never lose sight of the truth that Your real beauty is beyond my wildest dreams. Your Presence is much closer than at my side.

 

@Walt, thank you for sharing your knowledge. I used the term "Come to Jesus" more to describe the level of conviction I had when communicating with my Unconscious in that post i made. Im actually not a very religious person myself, but appreciate when it gives strength to people. I did however seem to make some peace with my Unconscious as I was able to go from a level 10 pain to a level 3+ pain later in the day. I was actually able to go to my bonfire and enjoy sunset and s'mores. Turned out to be a a great day! Thanks again