Day 5 a bit overwhelmed

Hi all -

I'm new here and just starting journaling. I'm pretty overwhelmed with emotions (I'm not often a very emotional person.) It's distracting me from work I ought to do.

I was wondering whether telling you stuff might help somehow. I hope that's ok.

So, the story is: Sometime in my teens there was a formal dinner at my parents'. I was pretty ill that day but was at the dinner table. I think I may have been in bed but came out to have dinner (I don't really remember the details.) Anyway, at some point (probably between courses) I was too exhausted to continue sitting. I think I asked whether it would be okay for me to lie down on the sofa for a bit. And my father completely exploded. I was super shocked and confused as his reaction came out of the blue. I think I had asked politely; and it any case, reacting like that was embarrassing him in front of his dinner guests. It was a really unexpected response. Like, if he found anything in what I said objectionable, he could for example calmly have asked my to go lie in my bed instead.

Dunno what happened there (this is twenty years later); there must have been other stresses in his life. I still get shocked and tearful when I think of that incident though.

(If you are curious as to how it panned out - my mom defended me and I did rest on the sofa for a while.)

I just don't know what to make of it. And I don't know how to process it. I clearly haven't all these years. Can you help me somehow? Any thoughts?

Thank you.


My parents are still alive but very much not good to talk to about emotional things.

 

Hello, good to have you here! It is my experience that setting a little time aside each day to tap into your emotions helps me get to the root of my pain/ issues. The more I do it.. The more issues come to the surface. I keep a list so I can touch base with each one at a later time. It's hard... And I keep a tissue box close by.... Now, instead of being a chore, it's like bonus time! The more I delve, the better I feel. And... I rarely have to revisit those topics again..schedule time for yourself, you deserve to heal! Journaling helps!

 

Hi greenant,

Welcome to the Forum!

What strikes me about what you wrote about the incident at the dinner table, is that you don't include any description of your emotions at the time. You mention your thoughts about it--shocked and confused. How did it make you feel? Had your father made you feel that way before or since? Explore this in your journaling and then see if there is a connection to the present and what has triggered your TMS.

You are beginning a wonderful journey and will learn so much about yourself. Keep at it. It's a process. Let it unfold. Keep us posted on how you're doing.

 

Thanks for your support - I didn't realize that shock and confusion aren't emotions; I guess they are feelings maybe - as in, this is the way it feels, rather than core emotions. Hm. I'll have to think (feel?) about his more.

 

Cheers - your experience of not having to revisit is encouraging; a nice thought, that things - emotions - can just resolve themselves once addressed once.

 

Hi, greenAnt. I think your father was having his own TMS repressed emotions and took them out on you.
I wonder if he ever learned what he was repressing.
In journaling in the SEP I found myself thinking back to my boyhood and realized I was repressing a lot anger
and feelings of insecurity that I got when my parents divorced when I was seven. I decided to put myself
in their shoes and came to realize they both had a lot of TMS from their childhood and from raising a family
of three in the hard economic times of the 1930s Great Depression.

Close friends divorced and I had more economic insecurity from the economic situation today
and those things triggered memories of my youth I just wrote about. I was able to better understand
my parents, that they had their own TMS, and it led to me forgiving them. That led me to me becoming
free of severe back pain which had led me to discover Dr. Sarno and TMS.

So believe me, and the others who post in the subforums, TMS is real, it is the cause of most pain,
and with TMS knowledge and effort we will be healthier and happier than we ever imagined.