I just read posts by KevinB and Alyssa5 and feel like I'm on the same page in feeling a bit dispirited. I've been a bit lax with the program lately as I had a few great days without pain. However, the last couple of days I've had a return of the pain I felt at the beginning of my last episode. While I've gotten back into the program, journaling and consciously thinking about and listing past and present stressors, and rereading some Sarno, I can't help but feel a little depressed and that creeping in of the fear of the pain. I find myself assessing the pain during/after when I wake up, when I feel stressed (often with a three year old in the house!) and after journaling. As soon as I realise I get back to thinking about my emotions. I guess that is all I can do. I read one of the SEP posts re the stress related to the holiday period and realised that some of my pain may relate to that. We're going camping for a few days for the first time with our toddler and baby and I'm not sure how they'll go. Two days after we get back we jump on a plane to see my in-laws for Christmas. Thankfully they are all great. It's really just the additional stresses that come with traveling with small children, staying somewhere new and having to use public transport to get them around. I'm sure it will be great and I'm trying to focus on today and not get too far ahead of myself. Does anyone else feel they're going a bit mad at times dealing with TMS and constantly delving into their emotions?! I remind myself to ride the wave and not get pulled under. It's safe to feel and so much better if you don't fight it. Whew, sorry to be a downer.