A bit dispirited

I just read posts by KevinB and Alyssa5 and feel like I'm on the same page in feeling a bit dispirited. I've been a bit lax with the program lately as I had a few great days without pain. However, the last couple of days I've had a return of the pain I felt at the beginning of my last episode. While I've gotten back into the program, journaling and consciously thinking about and listing past and present stressors, and rereading some Sarno, I can't help but feel a little depressed and that creeping in of the fear of the pain. I find myself assessing the pain during/after when I wake up, when I feel stressed (often with a three year old in the house!) and after journaling. As soon as I realise I get back to thinking about my emotions. I guess that is all I can do.
I read one of the SEP posts re the stress related to the holiday period and realised that some of my pain may relate to that. We're going camping for a few days for the first time with our toddler and baby and I'm not sure how they'll go. Two days after we get back we jump on a plane to see my in-laws for Christmas. Thankfully they are all great. It's really just the additional stresses that come with traveling with small children, staying somewhere new and having to use public transport to get them around. I'm sure it will be great and I'm trying to focus on today and not get too far ahead of myself.
Does anyone else feel they're going a bit mad at times dealing with TMS and constantly delving into their emotions?! I remind myself to ride the wave and not get pulled under. It's safe to feel and so much better if you don't fight it. Whew, sorry to be a downer.

 

Hi Zoeinoz,

Part of what I hear is that there is a concern that you have all this emotional content that needs to be felt and assimilated, and it seems it is a little overwhelming. Not fun to deal with, and that it must be dealt with in order to fix your pain. In this, if I am right, there is pressure and stress. This is natural, all of it: the trying to get out of pain, the urge to do it well and right, the doubt that it is working, etc.

The answer?

Yes. And observe how you may worry and pressure yourself about your Sarno work. It may help to simply see this, if I am right, and include this awareness in the ways that you are thinking psychological.

Good luck! And try to be patient. That you've had pain relief is significant!

Andy B.

 

Thank you for the advice Andy B. I really appreciate it. Yes, I do put a lot of pressure on myself and overwhelm myself by taking on too many emotions and issues at once. I also have not had the chance to do any mindfulness meditation lately, which I definitely think helps to ground me. I also try to practice mindfulness in terms of living in the moment and being compassionate with myself as I think you suggested before. It all takes practice but makes absolute sense. Patience...and gratitude for the small steps forward.

 

Hi Zoeinoz,

Sorry to hear you're struggling, but that's part of it. Andy B. offers some grate insight above. I'm certainly no expert on any of this stuff, but I know from my past experience that it's a bit like a roller coaster, with ups and downs, just like life... I wish it were linear, like we start the SEP and everyday it just improves until POOF, it vanishes.... alas, that doesn't seem to be the case.

Anyhow, I'm doing the SEP for the second time, and that alone causes stress because I find at times I'm bullying myself, saying "why didn't you cure yourself last time?!?!"; but I'm seeing that that type of attitude and self criticism is worthless and in fact contributes to the syndrome. Anyways, it's a process, it's learning and growing, it really is a gift, although it is very difficult to view pain that way.....

It sounds like you've a lot on your plate. But you're doing the work, that's all we can do. I'm trying to take on the perspective of "do the work, but be not in the results business", and at the same time not be my own drill sergeant....

Best to you and blessings.

Kevin

 

Hi, Zoeinoz. You mention some anxiety about the upcoming Christmas holiday. That happens to a lot of us and the holiday can increase our TMS pain. I just posted a new thread in the General Discussion Subforum in which famous people tell about their best-remembered Christmas. You might take a look at it, to cheer you up and look forward more happily to the holiday.