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2019 Strategies

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by yvettemariabetancourt, Jan 1, 2019.

  1. yvettemariabetancourt

    yvettemariabetancourt Peer Supporter

    I don't consider myself a depressive person but know I suffer from regular anxiety. I consistently overcome that anxiety to do some cool things and it does not debilitate me. But every December I struggle with circumstantial /holiday season-stress chronic pain. You name it, I feel it. Sciatica. Lower back spasms. Neck pain. Heartburn. Heart palpitations. I almost fainted Dec 24 I was so stressed out for no reason. Typical TMS sufferer. I can see it coming a mile away and I ramp up my self care-exercise-stretching this month, pay for massages, meditate more etc. Not paying attention to these messages can lead to physical injury in my lower back and I know how to manage this.

    Then every December 31st I struggle with feelings of failure. By every metric I realize these feelings are unjustified but the struggle and suffering is there. Today I decided to write down a list of what I did accomplish in 2018 and created a "Microshift List of Goals for 2019"- Small reachable changes that can lead to big benefits i.e. wear my bike helmet; listen my children more; spend more time with extended family. The 2018 list had 8 really strong , tangible accomplishments of which #1 was keeping my back healthy and my body strong. There were many more lovely things including successful therapy work and professional accomplishments.

    My point is if I had ONLY kept my back and body healthy, that would be enough.The rest are gravy. Writing that list quantified for me and articulated what I needed to see with my own eyes. The fog slightly lifted and I hope as I enter 2019 I move on with these realities, not the fiction my fault brain creates for me. I am perplexed with the consistent feelings of failure /phenomenon in myself and plan to resolve it once and for all.
    Coffeeplease likes this.
  2. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    Maybe instead of putting this pressure on yourself you should focus on making yourself feel better. Think about it. What would you tell your best friend to do in this scenario?
    Coffeeplease likes this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    I love both your ideas!

    yvettemariabetancourt, I love very much that you ended up with such simple and important things. Things which really matter. And they are not small! But they are in your power vs big, far away ideas/comparisons. I relaxed as soon as I saw your list, I think because of my own pressures and comparisons. Thank you.

    Tms_joe Thank you for the reminder that I am on my list too!
  4. Coffeeplease

    Coffeeplease Peer Supporter

    I'm right with you @yvettemariabetancourt! You articulated so well the same feelings I experienced at the end of the year. I wrote down my daily list of things I'm grateful for, that I have the power to find the "real me" free from fear, worry, self hatred, depression over what I've lost. I turned those thoughts around to new opportunities, new doors opening for me, being ok with myself in this moment, keeping hope and focus on myself and healing.

    I love the words ending your last sentence, yes you can resolve this once and for all. And you give me inspiration that we can ALL do it!!

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