15 years of Pain, Fibro, Frequent Urination, Chronic Fatigue

M

matty277

New Member
Hi All

Long time lurker but my first post. I really need some advice as I've been aware (and consciously accepting) of the TMS method for the better part of a decade. I have listened to countless podcasts, youtube videos, read all the books, completed sessions with a TMS counsellor but I have failed to heal.
Truth be told I have failed to "do the work" as such as recently have started the daily journal speak method...

My Story (I'll try and keep it short)

In late 2007 (age 19) a month or so prior to moving from Australia to the UK for a 1 year working visa trip I discovered a genital wart type lump that sent me into an emotional tailspin. I started researching online and quite quickly convinced myself i had uncurbable cancer of some sort. A doctor quickly diagnosed it as a GW and removed it and I went on my way. 2 months into my trip it returned and I freaked out again and went to a sexual health clinic in the UK to have it treated. Several weeks later, I started to have urgent and the frequent need to urinate. Thus commenced a barrage of doctor and specialist visits, tests, scans etc that came up with no conclusion. This went on for the remainder of my 12 month trip but it really debilitated me (and my mind certainly let it) as looking back I was in a constant state of fear.

Upon returning to Australia in 2008 I began working in the logistics industry in Oil & Gas in quite stressful and challenging roles. After a while my frequent urination grew to back pain and leg pain. Specifically tight calves/back and a feeling that i couldn't stand up for long due to leg fatigue. This then grew to hot feet and the more i concentrated on my feet i felt them getting red and i convinced myself (after constant online research) that i had erythromelalgia. Over the next few years the pain and fatigue spread throughout my body and i began to have loose stools, night sweats, teeth grinding at night, low libido, rapid heartbeat, stiff neck the list goes on.

All throughout this I still managed to work constantly but I was always in pain/stiffness of some sort and never comfortable in my own body. After a few years and all the tests, doctors etc and alternative medicals (i swear i've tried them all) i gave up.
I discovered Dr Sarnos work around 2012/13 from memory and saw myself in his books, the goodist, people pleaser type of personality and the obsessive type. But i just couldn't heal. I've had all sorts of strange symptoms over the years some of which did go but the majority are still with me. I now have a wife and 3 young kids which i'm really struggling to be the best father and husband I can with this pain. I have a very stressful job as a manager of a busy port facility (I've had stressful jobs the whole way through, i seem to attract myself to them) but i enjoy the work.

Approx 9 months ago i started having a light eye twitch in my left eye. I then started my typical dr google campaign and tried all the obvious remedies to no avail. I went to the doctor (first time i've seen a doc in years) and did a full blood work with no issues arising. The twitch has slowly but surely gotten worse and worse over the past 9 months where its really impacting. Sometimes it spreads over to my right eye but then goes away but its constantly in my left. I've been searching the forums for examples of success stories with eye twitches but haven't really found much.

I guess i'm just after some support / advice on how to progress...
 
Hi there @matty277 and welcome.

It's time to do the work, my friend. Start with the Structured Educational Program on the main tmswiki.org site, it's the easiest to get into. No registration or sign up needed. Do only one day per day, do not rush it, and do not avoid the writing exercises. The SEP will focus your writing topics, and give you alternative techniques to try.

You might experience worse symptoms once you commit to really working on your emotional repression. This is normal. If you really can't handle it, you can take a short break, and investigate things like therapeutic breathing techniques to help calm the vagus nerve - this is very easy to look up on the internet (not doctor Google :p)

Your brain will try to trick you into all kinds of avoidance techniques. Do not let it do this! You need to make a commitment to be 100% totally honest when you are doing this work. Do understand, that although we use the word journaling, you do not need to keep a formal journal and you can throw away everything you end up writing.

This is the way out and up, and you can do it. Your belief is the first step.
 
@matty277, welcome! Having done this work for some years, I can say without a doubt that fear lies at the heart of most of our TMS symptoms and reading your story makes me think that you are a classic example of this. It started with fear - genital warts (which do not cause cancer, which you must know now) and just escalated. I totally agree with JanAtheCPA's comments and wish you the best of luck. You will get over this, though the journey might be a bit rough.
 
matty277 said:
Hi All

Long time lurker but my first post. I really need some advice as I've been aware (and consciously accepting) of the TMS method for the better part of a decade. I have listened to countless podcasts, youtube videos, read all the books, completed sessions with a TMS counsellor but I have failed to heal.
Truth be told I have failed to "do the work" as such as recently have started the daily journal speak method...

My Story (I'll try and keep it short)

In late 2007 (age 19) a month or so prior to moving from Australia to the UK for a 1 year working visa trip I discovered a genital wart type lump that sent me into an emotional tailspin. I started researching online and quite quickly convinced myself i had uncurbable cancer of some sort. A doctor quickly diagnosed it as a GW and removed it and I went on my way. 2 months into my trip it returned and I freaked out again and went to a sexual health clinic in the UK to have it treated. Several weeks later, I started to have urgent and the frequent need to urinate. Thus commenced a barrage of doctor and specialist visits, tests, scans etc that came up with no conclusion. This went on for the remainder of my 12 month trip but it really debilitated me (and my mind certainly let it) as looking back I was in a constant state of fear.

Upon returning to Australia in 2008 I began working in the logistics industry in Oil & Gas in quite stressful and challenging roles. After a while my frequent urination grew to back pain and leg pain. Specifically tight calves/back and a feeling that i couldn't stand up for long due to leg fatigue. This then grew to hot feet and the more i concentrated on my feet i felt them getting red and i convinced myself (after constant online research) that i had erythromelalgia. Over the next few years the pain and fatigue spread throughout my body and i began to have loose stools, night sweats, teeth grinding at night, low libido, rapid heartbeat, stiff neck the list goes on.

All throughout this I still managed to work constantly but I was always in pain/stiffness of some sort and never comfortable in my own body. After a few years and all the tests, doctors etc and alternative medicals (i swear i've tried them all) i gave up.
I discovered Dr Sarnos work around 2012/13 from memory and saw myself in his books, the goodist, people pleaser type of personality and the obsessive type. But i just couldn't heal. I've had all sorts of strange symptoms over the years some of which did go but the majority are still with me. I now have a wife and 3 young kids which i'm really struggling to be the best father and husband I can with this pain. I have a very stressful job as a manager of a busy port facility (I've had stressful jobs the whole way through, i seem to attract myself to them) but i enjoy the work.

Approx 9 months ago i started having a light eye twitch in my left eye. I then started my typical dr google campaign and tried all the obvious remedies to no avail. I went to the doctor (first time i've seen a doc in years) and did a full blood work with no issues arising. The twitch has slowly but surely gotten worse and worse over the past 9 months where its really impacting. Sometimes it spreads over to my right eye but then goes away but its constantly in my left. I've been searching the forums for examples of success stories with eye twitches but haven't really found much.

I guess i'm just after some support / advice on how to progress...
Click to expand...

I'm slightly hesitant to ask in case the answer doesn't make you feel good, but I'm wondering how those old symptoms from 2007/2008 went. Did they less or even go away for you, eventually, as the fixation on them faded? If so, maybe you can look to that as a serious bit of proof that your body *can* cause all sorts of intense, unsettling symptoms, and can just as easily resolve them when the conditions are right. Have you got any TMS successes or stories of symptom fading in your past you can look to for encouragement?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top