Recent content by theiaone

I've had some very unhelpful physical therapy experiences, but my last experience was one I am grateful for, too. He worked so persistently with me, following my always-changing pain. Finally, 6 months in, he was clearly frustrated! He said the pain had no consistent pattern, and gave me some...

Love it. I'm definitely leaning into my own cheesy rhythms. It's nice to be able to feel a lightness around the pain when we've let it be so heavy and we've let it occupy so much mind space for so long. Laughing at myself feels good!

same here! When I see the pain shifting or easing up I find I can feel confident that it's days are limited.

Thank you @Hedger your comment was like a validation to my anger...which I didn't realize I needed

Same here Mags33. I am really leaning into the baby steps. My first jog was around a couple blocks, with walking in between. Maybe once we have proof that physical activity does not have to equal pain, we will gain more confidence and stop giving pain so much of our attention.

I try to zoom in on the improvements I see... it's like a positive feedback loop. A little evidence here that it's TMS gives me a boost of confidence in the diagnosis.... and that confidence in turn helps me let go just a little bit more of the anxiety response to the pain. Very much related to...

3 things that make me angry: When people who have hurt you can’t acknowledge the role they played My dad's anger issues, and yelling The patriarchal structure of my childhood home 3 Things that make me sad: That I never learned to love myself (it’s not too late) Feelings of inadequacy, Not...

Thanks Hedger for your thoughts! That's true, I probably haven't let myself feel the extent of my emotions, even if I have acknowledged them. And I can definitely treat myself better in the present and future.

DAY 1 After 6 years of chronic pain, seeing many doctors and trying different things— I accept my TMS diagnosis last month. I realize at this point it has to be psychogenic because I was able to sit for the first time, in over a year, without lower back pain— just a few days after accepting TMS...