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Steve
Last Activity:
Apr 25, 2012
Joined:
Mar 26, 2012
Messages:
13
Likes Received:
2
Trophy Points:
11
Gender:
Male
Location:
San Francisco, CA
Occupation:
Day Trader

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Steve

New Member, Male, from San Francisco, CA

Bullish Mar 26, 2012

Steve was last seen:
Apr 25, 2012
  • My Story

    I'm a 50 year old day trader in San Francisco area. I've had a nasty case of elbow/forearm RSI since Oct 2011. Lots of pain, obsessing, anxiety, whining, time and money wasted on doctor visits, PT, xrays, MRIs, etc. I just learned about TMS on 3/21/2012 which is my new independence day. I'm probably 50% better already and feel vastly more hopeful emotionally.

    To give you the back story, my parents divorced ugly when I was 8. My alcoholic mom and two sisters moved out of state and I didn't see them for two years. Life got better when my dad remarried when I was 10. In high school, I was a competitive swimmer, captain of the swim team and relatively BMOC. Then I got a bad case of tendinitis by my senior year and my whole world seemed to collapse. In college had surgeries on both shoulders which made it worse. I got a case of OCD about my shoulders in my mid 20s, started thinking about them constantly 24x7 which made them stiffer and more painful and worsened the obsession (I had TMS back then but didn't know it). I responded by just avoiding sports or physical activity which reduced but never eliminated the pain/anxiety. I should mention I have the classic TMS personality - overachiever, perfectionist, repress emotions, a million shoulds, etc.

    I got divorced at age 40 and shoulder pain came roaring back along with really bad OCD. I saw countless "healers" - orthopedists, PTS, psychologists, acupunturists, rolfers, myo-facial release specialists, reiki whatever, etc. I was swallowing ibuprofen like mad, icing twice a day and cut back to half time and work. A few doctors suggested I go on prescription pain killers (for life... swell idea.) Finally I saw an OCD specialist who knew nothing about TMS but interestingly her prescription was similiar - confront the anxiety head on, don't avoid physical activity, don't give into compulsions to protect myself. I was wiped out for a year or two but eventually I recovered and was pretty good for most of the last 8 years.

    In 2009 my business collapsed in the recession, so I got into day trading with my usual perfectionist fervor. I did great for 3 years, but working long hours and highly stressed. Then Oct 2011 this RSI baloney hit me and within a few weeks I was in crippling pain and couldn't type for 5 minutes. I hired workers to sit next to me and do all my typing and went back on the iboprofen, icing, light therapy, yada yada. Two orthopedists told me it would take 18-24 months to recover from my "medial epicondylitis" (golfer's elbow). They started me on PT (despite clinical studies showing it doesn't work) which was maybe a slight help, but it aggravated my shoulders again. With shoulder and elbow pain both going strong my anxiety and OCD went through the roof in Feb 2012. I even found myself "tensing" my shoulders when I swallowed for hours at a time. My shoulders seemed so tight that I imagined walking was really hurting them. Fortunately I reached the desperation stage which prompted me to look at new and different solutions including meditation and hypnosis (somewhat helpful) and finally Dr. Sarno's books and this fabulous Wiki (extremely helpful!).
    Now I'm starting to get somewhere. My pain is down at least 50% in ten days. I have stopped the ibuprofen, icing and with help from you all on this wiki quit the PT nonsense 3/30. I am building up my time on the computer to 2-3 hours per day and am cutting back on my typing assistants and plan to eliminate them over the next 1-2 months. I'm meditating 2x day and reading a bunch of books to improve my psychology and going through the Presence Process. Looking forward to connecting with many of you here and thanks for your support.
    1. Linnea
      Linnea
      And thank you for sharing YOUR story! The obsessing about the pain 24/7 is exactly what I´ve been doing last couple of years, thinking "how could I do otherwise? The pain is allways there, how can I possibly ignore it?" It was very enlightning for me to learn that that is exactly what feeds the pain, even though it´s hard to change when you´ve so into that thinking pattern... But we can change, yes we can!
    2. Forest
      Forest
      Hiya Steve and Welcome to the wiki,

      From reading your story it sounds like you are in the right place. It is amazing at just how learning about TMS and our emotions can alleviate our symptoms. It sounds like you are making great progress and are on the right path. Keep up the great work!

      Forest
    3. Steve
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  • My Story

    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA
    Occupation:
    Day Trader
    I'm a 50 year old day trader in San Francisco area. I've had a nasty case of elbow/forearm RSI since Oct 2011. Lots of pain, obsessing, anxiety, whining, time and money wasted on doctor visits, PT, xrays, MRIs, etc. I just learned about TMS on 3/21/2012 which is my new independence day. I'm probably 50% better already and feel vastly more hopeful emotionally.

    To give you the back story, my parents divorced ugly when I was 8. My alcoholic mom and two sisters moved out of state and I didn't see them for two years. Life got better when my dad remarried when I was 10. In high school, I was a competitive swimmer, captain of the swim team and relatively BMOC. Then I got a bad case of tendinitis by my senior year and my whole world seemed to collapse. In college had surgeries on both shoulders which made it worse. I got a case of OCD about my shoulders in my mid 20s, started thinking about them constantly 24x7 which made them stiffer and more painful and worsened the obsession (I had TMS back then but didn't know it). I responded by just avoiding sports or physical activity which reduced but never eliminated the pain/anxiety. I should mention I have the classic TMS personality - overachiever, perfectionist, repress emotions, a million shoulds, etc.

    I got divorced at age 40 and shoulder pain came roaring back along with really bad OCD. I saw countless "healers" - orthopedists, PTS, psychologists, acupunturists, rolfers, myo-facial release specialists, reiki whatever, etc. I was swallowing ibuprofen like mad, icing twice a day and cut back to half time and work. A few doctors suggested I go on prescription pain killers (for life... swell idea.) Finally I saw an OCD specialist who knew nothing about TMS but interestingly her prescription was similiar - confront the anxiety head on, don't avoid physical activity, don't give into compulsions to protect myself. I was wiped out for a year or two but eventually I recovered and was pretty good for most of the last 8 years.

    In 2009 my business collapsed in the recession, so I got into day trading with my usual perfectionist fervor. I did great for 3 years, but working long hours and highly stressed. Then Oct 2011 this RSI baloney hit me and within a few weeks I was in crippling pain and couldn't type for 5 minutes. I hired workers to sit next to me and do all my typing and went back on the iboprofen, icing, light therapy, yada yada. Two orthopedists told me it would take 18-24 months to recover from my "medial epicondylitis" (golfer's elbow). They started me on PT (despite clinical studies showing it doesn't work) which was maybe a slight help, but it aggravated my shoulders again. With shoulder and elbow pain both going strong my anxiety and OCD went through the roof in Feb 2012. I even found myself "tensing" my shoulders when I swallowed for hours at a time. My shoulders seemed so tight that I imagined walking was really hurting them. Fortunately I reached the desperation stage which prompted me to look at new and different solutions including meditation and hypnosis (somewhat helpful) and finally Dr. Sarno's books and this fabulous Wiki (extremely helpful!).
    Now I'm starting to get somewhere. My pain is down at least 50% in ten days. I have stopped the ibuprofen, icing and with help from you all on this wiki quit the PT nonsense 3/30. I am building up my time on the computer to 2-3 hours per day and am cutting back on my typing assistants and plan to eliminate them over the next 1-2 months. I'm meditating 2x day and reading a bunch of books to improve my psychology and going through the Presence Process. Looking forward to connecting with many of you here and thanks for your support.

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