Rozzamund

I wrote the following at the end of last year. It is my story about RSI and TMS. It is a success story and I would like to share it with you in the hope that it will help, as others’ success stories have helped me.


My Story

I have had RSI pain for the last 7 years. In March 2015 I read a book ‘Healing your Back Pain’ by Dr John Sarno. I ‘knew’ deep within, this book applied to me. By the end of the weekend my pain was gone.

For years I had worked in an architect’s office, typing every day without problem. During the last year working there I was starting to have sore arms and neck stiffness. I sort of knew it was RSI but thought it would just go. Eventually, the pain woke me during the night disturbing my sleep. I carried on and on, being aware but not making any changes. Finally, my arms literally gave up on the job. I was alone in the office typing away and my hands just wouldn’t work and I could barely lift my arms to the keyboard. It was frightening.

It was so bad I said I wouldn’t be going back. I went to my GP and the whole scenario of pain relief, rest, physio, splints began. The doing and the not doing. The acupuncture, the ultrasound massage, the hot water bottles, the knitted wrist warmers. The list of banned activities: painting, yoga, decorating, gardening, peeling vegetables, cleaning, swimming, skiing, ironing and so on .....

I became a person identified by the RSI. I can’t do this, I can’t do that. I struggled to paint, the one thing I really love. Even my left arm hurt from painting when I’m right handed!

At the beginning of 2015, we had booked a skiing holiday in Colorado (I ski without poles by the way). I was quite nervous about the long flight and had mentally put the whole thing to one side until it actually happened. I started to develop pains in my buttock and down my left leg so I could barely sit comfortably. What was going on? During the holiday I was absolutely fine. When I came home everything began again, back to ‘normal’. Question marks?

I explained this to my reflexologist and she said I think you should read this book, the Sarno book. And my life changed on a sixpence! I just got it. The whole thing made sense. The pain was a distraction from dealing with other emotional aspects of my life.

I had tried to leave that job the year before I was finally forced to. However the partner came to my home crying and begged me to stay. Which I did. I gave in. I compromised my own life and body to stay. I realise now how angry and resentful I was during that last year there. I hated it. Dreaded going in and it was during this time that all the pain began. Strangely enough, it was a year to the day from my original resignation that the pain forced me to leave.

I had never made any corrolation between the pain and timing of the RSI and these emotions until I read the Sarno book. Then it all became crystal clear. The pain of the RSI was real, very real but the cause wasn’t overuse or wear and tear, it was emotional. Rage and anger and resentment. Once I knew this and understood how the pain worked, it no longer had any use and ceased.

It just happens that during this last year and a half, I have been on my own journey of discovery, writing pages about how I feel and making small changes to my life, how I manage my painting time, what I want from life etc. I also took a Reiki part one course and have been doing reiki and meditating on a regular basis. During this time, the RSI pains were getting stronger and more debilitating even though I was doing less and less. I know now I was getting closer to the truth about the pain and my unconscious mind was putting up a valiant struggle not to be discovered. The pain is my mind’s coping mechanism and I was close to blowing the cover.

I knew intuitively as soon as I read the book and found the TMS Wiki website that TMS was my problem. The TMS is part of me, how I am made up, the patterns of emotional behaviour over the years. I understand this completely and am not afraid of this. I know that by slowing my day down and paying attention to how I am feeling, taking time to meditate and be more mindful (difficult!) I am slowly changing. I can feel the benefits of this behaviour. We are our thoughts but our thoughts are only thoughts. They can be dismissed.

When I recognise that I am feeling angry or guilty about something, I deal with it. I have a cheap notepad and scribble down in this whatever is going on in my head, however unreasonable or nasty or childish this may be as it doesn’t matter because it isn’t for keeps. Its for burning or ripping up or eating or whatever, there will be no evidence! The emotion is dealt with there and then rather than burying it like a bone to fester away until it pops out as a pain at a later date.

I am very grateful to the people and the energies and my own journey of self discovery which have led me here. I am happy and pain free !

Update

It is now nearly March 2016, a year round from my big discovery. I am still pain free. I don’t classify myself as someone with TMS or any other name, I am just Me, getting to know My Self.