Recent content by ChristopherB

Thank you, Alan!

Reread this post and a few things clicked. I have trouble sleeping. Even though I'm tired, my mind will wake me up to worry about things that aren't perfect (i.e. the way I'd prefer them to be). The perfectionism that is so common amongst TMSers can generate so much of the energy that fuels the...

This is a great post. I found myself writing down so much of it in my journal. Avoiding conflict - People pleasing - Pulling back - Cleaning up after everyone rather than insisting they do what they should. After many years of making sure everyone is happy and taken care of, it's tough to...

Nice work, Susan! You're a good example of making progress. Thanks for sharing. For me, over the last 6 months I've finished building and moving into our dream home and made solid progress in a course I'm taking at the local university. Both of those would have been enough work in themselves...

It's been said by many, and it rings true for me, which is the importance of stopping to acknowledge and enjoy the accomplishments. My standard response to achieving something is 'that's nice... what's next?' I've accomplished so much, yet I'm definitely not the happiest of persons. I'm the...

I know if I'm not careful, I'll spend a lot of my time fearing the worst and not enjoying all that I am, and all that I have. Covid certainly didn't help -- the news that we're all at risk of dying tomorrow. I'm sure the general anxiety of the world will remain heightened for many generations...

Thank you Susan. I'm very familiar with the 4-7-8 and have had some success with it. I'll look at that book you mentioned. Thank you. An audio book that I've found the most helpful is Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief.

I like Alan's reminder that we're not trying to accomplish anything, other than watching the sensations and reminding the brain that there's nothing to fear. During the night, however, while lying in bed and the pain sensations become overwhelming, I'm curious what others do to get through...

Thank you @JanAtheCPA. This is helpful. The reminder that perfectionism may be rooted in the craving of connection resonates with me.

That's a helpful definition of trauma. Thank you Susan. I'm hopeful the daily journaling will help. I've read all the books and done some of the work, but obviously 'some' of the work isn't good enough. Sorry to learn about your injury and good for you in making progress. I'll look at Alan's...

It's so hard to rewire. These personality traits that worked for us in many ways, and that others (family) have learned to depend on, would be great if only they didn't trigger the pain that becomes chronic. Awareness and expression are key, and I'm hopeful that overtime in combination with...

Perfectionism and being a people pleaser are personality traits that are highly vulnerable to pressure and criticism. It's a difficult thing to tell yourself not to care so much about others, especially when you're hardwired to please them. This topic is a great reminder to try and improve our...

So much fear. It's a good exercise to look back to try and see what might have made me such an anxious person. I think seeing parents constantly worried about money (and going bankrupt) certainly played a role. Also, trauma from accidents and the sudden death of child just adds to the...