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Welcome Merilu,

You are really going through hell, and quite fearful and anxious, understandably. To have your body be in pain and "out of control" is very scary. I am sorry for your experience. Most of us here have had to deal with some version of what you are going through, so we understand!

Your comment below sure supports that you have TMS. I am not a physician, and no one here can resolve your fears except you, and the TMS physician, which he has attempted to do.

I would not let your "lack of traumatic childhood" deter your belief that you have TMS. I was raised in a loving family, but could hardly walk from severe pain in my feet for over three years. I had 8 physicians at different times willing and ready, and recommending to do surgery. Now I ski around Crater Lake, and climb mountains again. This was with the help of a TMS physician Dr. Sopher, and a Life Coach Ken Malloy. Here is a blog post I made about exploring doubts. Each person's doubts are a little different.

I connected my symptoms with my own Inner Critic, and the feelings of the Inner Child. This tense dynamic occurs in everyone. Dr. Sarno said that "personality trumps life history or recent events." So what I am encouraging you to contemplate is the moment to moment relationships you have in you. Is there pressure? Is there perfectionism? Is there pushing and expectations? Can you feel the attacks of the Inner Critic? How might your Inner Child feel about this?

I hope you do the SEP and Alan Gordon's program at the Wiki, if you are not already deep into another TMS doctor's recommended workbook or program. Try to clear the doubts as best you can, and then begin to work methodically. And try to be patient.

Also, you might start a new thread under Support, asking for proven ways of dealing with anxiety. "What helped you with Anxiety?" could be a good title. And search the Wiki?

Andy B.