Bookmark

I used to write poems when I was a kid. I decided to write a poem about everything I’ve experienced this year. Maybe some of you can relate:



I was taught to repress, by the generation before me,

I didn’t see sadness, depression or glee,

The outside seemed tough and rugged for sure,

But now that I’m older, I see it’s not pure,

Our minds aren’t meant, to store the world inside,

And sometimes it feels so good, to let out a cry,

But crying wasn’t something I saw as a kid,

My grandpa once cried, in his room he hid,

My dad once cried, when we lost our great cat,

But I can’t think of many times, other than that,

So I thought it was normal, to carry the load,

But I found out recently, it caused me to implode,

I didn’t turn to drugs, or alcohol like most,

I held it inside, till my nervous system was toast,

Now I have great pains, in areas that aren’t injured,

And my energy levels are zapped, I feel very hindered,

But when I look in the mirror, I see a body that’s strong,

A back that is wide, and a face that is long,

People see me as tough, a true man’s man,

But inside, I feel like a boy without a true plan,

My brain acts so scared, when really I’m safe,

It makes me wonder, how’d I end up in this place?

Am I really so different, than my peers around me?

Do I see the world, the way that they see?

My brain is neuroplastic, I remind myself of that,

I’d like a new identity, to wear a new hat,

I want to be young, happy and free,

And not be imprisoned, by this brain with just me,

Help me dear Lord, to live without fear,

To not count my days, or look forward in years,

Help me to be present, in this space and time,

To go with the flow, the rhythm and rhyme,

To live like the animals, who rest in the plains,

Knowing full well, the lions remain,

I’ve been so in my head for so very long,

That I’ve overthought things, and caused stuff to go wrong,

Return me my God, to my childlike brain,

When I loved every moment, and didn’t feel pain