"someone who actually helped you make a full recovery."
This is looking for a fix. It's fixing and it's looking for someone outside of you to fix it.
Coaches teach you skills and strategies to help yourself over time. Looking for someone else to "fix" you is simply not the answer to TMS. It's exactly the same type of behavior as going to doctors, or searching for miracle fixes in medications, diets etc.
"I know what patterns I have etc but not reallt what sure what to do with them or how to change"
This is your brain on TMS. If you've done the SEP to completion or completed ANY TMS program (or read a book by Dr. Sarno) then you will know exactly what needs to be done. Knowing the information and getting the mind to accept and use the information with absolute vulnerability is the "what to do or how to change".
"I know what patterns I have" is another TMS blockage. You don't know it all. Trust me! You know what has been revealed up to this time but being firm in the fact you know everything is a mindset of being very black and white or part of what Sarno calls "Legalistic". Softening these attitudes to one of wondrous discovery, to open mindedness, to curiosity is part of the mindset needed to find a way out. Notice how light hearted these attitudes are. There is no beginning and end.
You don't need to journal anymore unless you want to.
What you may need to do look at the patterns and how they relate to your stress load. Not just triggers, but the little drips of daily stressors, usually internal things that add to your stress bucket so much that it overloads and you get symptoms.
Engage in things for fun. EVEN look at what you think of as "fun". If there is any have to, must, or reason for doing the activity then it is not going to help you lessen your load. These things can be hobbies (which not everyone has) although hobbies themselves can be loaded. eg. I sew. I can create a lot of inner stress while sewing with my thoughts. It doesn't take me away from my own inner machinations so it's not a good option for lowering a stress load. Walking in nature (if you can) alone or with a pet, playing music just for you, meditation - things were there is no right or wrong, no self pressure, no stories around it nothing from the "I know what patterns I have" department of your mind. Those are great things to help you unload a bit of stress. d
AT THE SAME TIME you are working on these things begin unpacking a bit of those "patterns" (not while you are doing the activity of unloading, this is at a different time of the day). Look at your thought patterns, triggers, and look predominantly at the inner stress you create by thoughts about yourself. This kind of comes in dribs and drabs about your day as you become more aware. Look at the emotions these thoughts might be creating in the way you have sensations in the moment. This is part of the take a few deep breaths method you've been taught.
Just stop, take a few deep breaths and sit for 3-4 minutes and feel in your body how you feel. Not focusing necessarily on your symptoms but on your physical body. Air on the skin, bum in the seat, feet on the floor, tingling sensations of being alive, maybe swirling blackness behind your eyes ... any sensation at all. Let it sit there and also sense if you have any emotional stuff happening. You might wonder what the point of this is - it's just to process it all. Nothing else. It's to notice and let it all sit there without a swirl of thoughts or judgements. You don't need to sit any longer than a few minutes once or twice a day and if you can, do it at work.
After you learn TMS skills you need to put them to use in everyday life as you are living life. Sure there may be days when you get home and journaling about your day will be an excellent idea to blow off some steam or to set yourself right about your emotions, triggers etc.
Another element to work on is your freak-out factor. When you get sensations you judge as things you "dislike" - your symptoms OR your reaction to the sensation of emotions - you need to begin to learn to respond to them with more ease. This is another part of dealing with your stress load. You're teaching your nervous system that these thing are not panic worthy, that you can absolutely handle them. Yes, they might get your attention, but then you respond by gently turning your attention elsewhere to something that is needed or necessary. You may momentarily notice any emotions attached to the moment but don't dwell there. Just notice and turn your mind elsewhere. This is similar to Claire Weekes "floating" method. You are learning to distance your mind from the inflated importance of these tiny moments.
Know that there is no magical formula, know magical timeline to ending the sensations and the very first things to change are often the emotional and mental suffering. You will need to stop worrying about finding someone to cure you, about how quickly this is all "working" to begin noticing the little changes in yourself (an evidence sheet which is not just physical but also mental and emotional), to start giving yourself cudos for a variety of reasons: for sticking with a set "program" (which you, yourself can write), for being there for yourself, for the moments you notice etc.
One of the biggest things you need to do is set yourself up for the things you are going to "do" and do them every single day. Don't miss a day. I just gave you an entire outline above of an example of what you can do, but it's up to you to "reallt what sure what to do with them or how to change." over time.
-
Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/Dismiss Notice
Bookmark
- Thread:
- Help