Someone explain

San Miller says changing your state, finding joy, lifting yourself etc is suppression and you wont heal. You should just br sad if your sad etc.
That makes no sense to me. So if you constantly feel like a victim she is basically saying embrace that.
Everyone else says the complete opposite.

Does anyone actually know or agree with eachother.

Trust the process my arse. There is no process

 

Take no notice of Sam Miller then, or you can try out her particular take on things—the choice, of course, is yours.

"Everyone else" aren't all saying that you shouldn't acknowledge when you're sad (or whatever) and allow and experience that sadness. Looking out for moments of joy and savouring them when they happen isn't an anathema to that.

"The brain is like Teflon for positive experiences but Velcro for negative ones." ~ Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

Savouring those positive moments/experiences just tips the balance—it's not about being Pollyanna-ish.

 

How can we entice you to start being kind to yourself and others again?

You just have to find a voice that resonates with you and start making small steps towards a goal.

These rants will not get you anywhere.

 

Amen, to this!

 

Feeling sad is not the same as thinking you are a victim. The thought "I am a victim" is your brain interpreting the feeling "I feel sad." The problem is your brain's interpretation, not the emotion.