Practical question: computer work

Hi everyone! I have a practical question. I am trying to deal with a conditioned response to using my laptop. One thing I'm realizing is that I often have a ton of pressure and tension in my forehead, scalp, jaw, eyes, temples, neck, shoulders, face, arms, back, etc. when on the computer which makes using the laptop frightening and stressful (or vice-versa). I even stop breathing or breathe more shallowly! It's not always easy for me to find the sweet spot in my glasses for computer work, so I anticipate trouble, difficulty, tension, nausea, pain, dizziness, etc. even though actually, neither my glasses nor the screen itself are really the issue. (Big nocebo with those glasses and with the laptop!)

I work on a freelance basis from home and also have guilt about that because I am also a homeschooling mother/full-time caregiver. My father also hates computers/any tech and he was powerful and abusive in my early life; he retains a lot of power in my psyche, so I definitely have a subconscious block/danger signal against using the laptop. Also, often later in the day (and sometimes immediately after using the computer), I will attribute my symptoms to having used the computer "wrong" or "too much." That's tough. Finally, I was told very forcefully in the past that my eyes and reading were the source of all my anxiety and symptoms. That was BS but I only have recently come to fully realize this.

Any ideas for me? One thing I thought about today was whether I could do some things to start associating the computer with fun. But I don't really have ideas of even how to do that or what those could be.

Anybody have success with improving computer tolerance? I'm so tense!!

I have been having improvements with watching movies on the TV, which is great! Also with reading. Although I still have a ways to go on both these conditioned responses/triggers.

 

Dixie,
I always have my optometrist calibrate my reading glasses for computer use. You can also just get a computer use prescription—solely for use when on your computer. That should help. ❤️

Also: Maybe you could just do baby steps of fun only on the computer for awhile. 5 minutes of shopping? 5 minutes of looking at beautiful pictures of places you’d like to go? Then after awhile— weeks maybe? Increase to 10 minutes. Then give yourself a treat afterwards.

(Screw what your father thinks. You’re not him!)

 

Seriously!!
Thanks.

 

I have the same issues @dlane2530
The stress is real but so is my vision. I've been in quite a bit of a flare for the last few weeks. After identifying a lot of stress, I had a few other symptoms that made me head to the optometrist ... and I need new prescriptions.
Eventually I suspect something like this won't give me any symptoms - once my nervous system does an even better job of regulating, I should just have the same "messages" that I need my glasses changed as anyone else does. But for now, when I get a new prescription I do get either changes in symptoms or a slight increase for awhile then it all settles down.
It can happen with many things. For me it happens with changes in certain clothing, shoes, even the weight of earrings etc. It's kind of funny and I just go with the flow. Eventually it's all gonna totally settle down and I'll be able to wear anything or make these changes without any drama.

 

I totally get this. I'm much the same (and not just for glasses -- anything on my body! Don't get me started on shoes.). I've had this new prescription (and it's been rechecked) for a few weeks now so I'm trying to stick with it like a normal person and relax the tension. The tension, my goodness!

 

Yes, sometimes I need to slow down and do baby steps! Good advice.

 

I have some conditioned responses around my work too and my laptop. But I also use it to play Minecraft!

Until a few months ago I had a computer that was solely for work. It pretty much died, so I got a new one and this one I use for everything - for personal use and games too. I actually use different browsers for work versus my stuff like this forum or YouTube. I'm not saying buy a new laptop as they are not cheap, but could you put some games on it? Like even simple games like solitaire? Or organize the computer in another way where like you don't see your work folders or apps easily?

Or do you use a laptop for this forum, which may or may not be helpful?