Chronic hip/IT Band pain for 2 years - Scared. Hurt. Alone.

sdiddy

sdiddy

Peer Supporter
Hi all. about two years ago my hips started to hurt more and more to the point where its become so severe that it throbs and shooting pain even just sitting or trying to sleep. movement in the wrong way causes severe sharp pains also. ( I used to suffer from tms in the low back for many years btw, I still have flare ups sometimes).

I have had a stressful few years. Financial lawsuits, breakup with a great woman (I initiated the break up because I wasnt ready for what she was ready for, but now have regrets and shes dating someone else), getting laid off from my dream job, and more. But the fear of the pain is the worst thing by far.

I went to see hip specialists and did MRI and xray and they made me feel much worse, telling me I have a tear in my labrum, bursitis, a cyst, and arthritis in my hip joints, despite being only 46. I did a PRP treatment 2 weeks ago but havent decided what to do next.

Im scared. I feel alone. I barely have anyone to talk to about this. Im a single father to a sweet girl and just struggling to even move these days. And despite what the MRI says, I cant see how arthritis can suddenly happen in such a short amount of time when prior to 2 years ago I didnt have any hip pain at all (when I was dating this girl).

I could use any kind of positive words, ideas, support, affirmation, advice here. I am willing ot listen and try whatever you guys can recommend. Im hurting a lot, barely sleeping, and just scared and alone.

Thank you so much.
 
Hi, @sdiddy welcomea

Well, first off, you’re never alone! Were here! We totally get you. TMS really scares people. And of course you’re scared! But the only thing to fear—believe this or not—is yourself. Your primitive brain wants you to think about your body and what’s wrong and not about your emotions.

There’s a lot to learn, and it sounds like you’re willing. That’s fantastic! You can get your symptoms to go away, but it will take some work. Have you ever read a book by John Sarno? Any of them will work. They apply to all TMS symptoms—even his book, Healing Back Pain. That’s a great little book and it also comes in audio. I’d start there.

Another great thing to do is take the Structured Educational Program here in the forum. It will walk you through everything. If you’re dedicated, it can really help!

It sounds like you are well aware you are under stress and filled with sadness and regret. Believe it or not, what usually causes TMS is not what you are aware of, but what you AREN’T aware of. Usually it’s a conflict below the surface. These conflicts are revealed by journaling and brutal honesty. You could maybe benefit from Nicole Sachs. She has a podcast (The Cure for Chronic Pain) that is awesome. Start at the beginning. She teaches a special way of journaling called JournalSpeak. It has healed a lot of people. She is very inspiring and lends a lot of hope in her podcasts.

That’s probably more than you need to start with. But there’s a lot more where that came from. :)

I can also tell you personally that my biggest source of hope has been this forum. I have overcome my fear and learned everything I’ve needed to get me on the road to recovery by reading the posts and seeing the answers the seasoned TMS warriors give. And like you, I was willing to take their advice and follow it. Even when it seemed hard. I also read the Success Stories.

Sending out warm wishes. I know it’s hard right now. But I PROMISE you there’s HOPE!!!
 
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sdiddy said:
I could use any kind of positive words, ideas, support, affirmation, advice here. I am willing ot listen and try whatever you guys can recommend. Im hurting a lot, barely sleeping, and just scared and alone.
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You are not alone in this. 6 years ago I experienced the lowest period of my life due to chronic hip pain and the impact that had on my ability to exercise, work, and just "get around." Turns out it was all TMS, and I now know the power that this can have over us. You can read more in my original thread here:

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recurrence-of-hip-pain-post-surgery.22151/ (Recurrence of Hip Pain post-Surgery)
 
Can identify with how intrusive it can be...especially the not being able to sleep, be in a comfortable position. In fact, when they told me I had a 'back problem' I kept asking "Are you sure? It feels like My Butt and hips"
Then, after they diagnosed the back problem the pain moved there too.

The Good news, which you will find if you read Dr Sarno, TMS is a regional phenomena..so when I am having an issue it will dance around all over that area. This is good news because it means their structural diagnoses are wrong...all of those things you listed are normal aging.

I had a Hip relapse in 2021 or 22? And I just reread "Healing Back Pain", and "TheMindbody prescription" by John Sarno and it went away after I did the implied work.

It had a lot to do with feelings of uselessness and fear of aging and nothing to do with my hips, running or hitting baseballs, all of which I resumed and can still do.....with hips that would make a German shepherd cringe.

and the feeling alone. Don't. We all have the same problem..it is like being possessed by the Devil "Oh no....my lifes over...I'll never be any good again...I will be a burden on society"...That is the 'Gremlin' and it's a Lie...don't listen. In fact, I often argue with him.....

It will all make sense when you read the literature. Hang in there
 
Thank you all for the encouragement and replies. I checked out that thread you recommended and posted an update there as well, but I will paste is here for you also:

My chronic hip pain started a couple years ago and has gotten worse and worse and yes stressful things have happened but ive also done quite a lot of excessive hip movements for the 5 years prior to that (namely a LOT of sex post divorce. Probably 3-5x a night, 3x a week, for 5 years). At 40+ years old and with a body that wasnt strong to begin with, this was probably a lot of wear and tear. I noticed my hip, IT band, and back tightness got worse and worse and after I broke up with my last GF 2 years ago the pain ramped up, including shooting flaring throbbing pain in my right TFL. It also pinches with any kind of crouch or knee raise.

So last year I did an MRI with frightening results. Torn labrum, bursitis, and arthritis in both hips. I ended up doing PRP treatment about a month ago and have started doing PT. Not taking any drugs or anything for pain.

Here is my confusion. I am very susceptible to chronic TMS body pains. It used to be my low back (and sometimes it still flares up), frozen shoulder, chest and arm pain, and on and on for 20 years. So a part of me think this is TMS. But to be honest, I dont think its that simple. Because there are certain motions, stretches, that are simple consistently PAINFUL but doesnt feel like a muscle or tendon type pain. It very much feels like bone on bone joint pain. Its hard to describe but there can even be popping sort of feeling and sound. For example sitting cross legged in a yoga pose is almost impossible for me, my flexibilty and pain is so bad my knees are straight up in the air instead of flat. That pain is what I would call "mobility or motion triggered pain". In my mind this is an actual structural problem (Im open to being told I may be wrong, but just being honest).

And then there is the chronic shooting, throbbing, inconsistent pain in the TFL and IT band. This is more of a inflammation type of pain, some days its horrible and shoots down to my leg, some days its barely present. But it still hurts the TFL if i crouch or lift my leg (or for example attempt a happy baby yoga pose). I am convinced this pain is TMS.

And this is where I am at a crossroads. I believe this isnt as simple as a singular problem. I believe I did do a lot of wear and tear with sex (and not stretching or lifting weights to strengthen and lengthen) which caused tightness and other issues. But then I also believe the stress of my life, breakup, and more caused TMS to find a home in that problem area and make everything worse.

I tried playing pickleball and shoot hoops a month ago and at first it felt ok but halfway through basketball it all started hurting a lot and after the game i was in severe pain for 3 days.

So now I dont know what I'm supposed to do. Top priority is getting rid of the chronic shooting flaring throbbing pain so I can at least live and work. And secondary would be to try to strengthen and lengthen and loosen everything. But I can shake the thoughts of hip replacement surgery that the hip doc said is "probably inevitable". Its terrifying.

I should add that the anxiety about aging (im 46), being single and lonely and losing the girl that I probably should have married (my last GF), having my hair thinning, not being in great shape, and having hips that hurt which makes me worry Ill never be able to have good sex and satisfy a woman again is all causing me a ton of anxiety.

I will re-read healing back pain, please let me know what mind exercises you all might recommend and what you think about all this. I am scared and barely sleeping and would give literally ANYTHING for a pain free life. Thank you
 
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sdiddy said:
after I broke up with my last GF 2 years ago the pain ramped up
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sdiddy said:
Here is my confusion. I am very susceptible to chronic TMS body pains
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sdiddy said:
I should add that the anxiety about aging (im 46), being single and lonely and losing the girl that I probably should have married (my last GF), having my hair thinning, not being in great shape, and having hips that hurt which makes me worry Ill never be able to have good sex and satisfy a woman again is all causing me a ton of anxiety.
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Without getting graphic, I can assure you that the 'cause' of which you speak is not the 'cause' though some of the stuff I quoted back at you probably is. We have had very similar lives though I am older than you....and yes TMS makes all sorts of Peculiar symptoms. I recall when they used to have me 'draw' my pain at the chronic pain center, I would draw broken glass...it felt like broken glass was under my skin, joints were stiff and the stiffness was the pain....
..and as I said, I always second guessed their diagnosis....'are you SURE it's my back?'

The short list of weird stuff would include:
Feeling like I am stepping on a nail with every step.
Unable to lift my arm past my shoulder...fiery burning
Shooting tender pain in my knee
Hip feeling like I am 3000 years old.
TEETH feeling like they are stressed/jaw spasming POST root canal
...and those are just the 'non back pain' versions. I have had this crap try to sneak in a lot of back doors.
Been TMS every time . I know because the symptoms go away when I do the pg 77 drill.

I won't get too graphic because we are co-ed here, but suffice it to say I used to have a Beautiful wife and then two even MORE beautiful GF's...and then I left the last one when I realized that my whole ego/self worth was tied up in it. Vanity.
Pride.
Selfishness
It took years of reflection to finally intentionally be alone for the longest period of my life and It is one of the first things on my written list (Sarno/Mindbody prescription) when I get a new tickle some where...Intellectually I know I am better off but the vain self-involved inner-me thinks I need to have a beautiful woman around to be worth anything....and that inner-child gets ANGRY and starts to throw tantrums, while the 'thinker' me goes "Hmmm ...why is my arm hurting?"
sdiddy said:
I will re-read healing back pain, please let me know what mind exercises you all might recommend
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Pg 77, read a little every morning, make written lists of Conscious anger makers, try to pretend you aren't you, but your best friend....what would he say about...all of it? What would he see that you might not want to?
Every time I get an 'aha!' moment, it was always something hiding in plain sight.
I have notes from 25 years and I review them when I have a relapse...it is so easy to see why I needed symptoms then...why do I need them now?

Think back through your personal journey with this crap...write about that too....the writing is just so the NOW you might get insight...Your own experience is what is gonna free you, we just share ours hoping to give you a nudge. I still believe that all of us are more or less similar. That is a GOOD thing when recovering from this. I was never so happy to be 'average'

hang in there bro.
 
Baseball65 said:
Without getting graphic, I can assure you that the 'cause' of which you speak is not the 'cause' though some of the stuff I quoted back at you probably is. We have had very similar lives though I am older than you....and yes TMS makes all sorts of Peculiar symptoms. I recall when they used to have me 'draw' my pain at the chronic pain center, I would draw broken glass...it felt like broken glass was under my skin, joints were stiff and the stiffness was the pain....
..and as I said, I always second guessed their diagnosis....'are you SURE it's my back?'

The short list of weird stuff would include:
Feeling like I am stepping on a nail with every step.
Unable to lift my arm past my shoulder...fiery burning
Shooting tender pain in my knee
Hip feeling like I am 3000 years old.
TEETH feeling like they are stressed/jaw spasming POST root canal
...and those are just the 'non back pain' versions. I have had this crap try to sneak in a lot of back doors.
Been TMS every time . I know because the symptoms go away when I do the pg 77 drill.

I won't get too graphic because we are co-ed here, but suffice it to say I used to have a Beautiful wife and then two even MORE beautiful GF's...and then I left the last one when I realized that my whole ego/self worth was tied up in it. Vanity.
Pride.
Selfishness
It took years of reflection to finally intentionally be alone for the longest period of my life and It is one of the first things on my written list (Sarno/Mindbody prescription) when I get a new tickle some where...Intellectually I know I am better off but the vain self-involved inner-me thinks I need to have a beautiful woman around to be worth anything....and that inner-child gets ANGRY and starts to throw tantrums, while the 'thinker' me goes "Hmmm ...why is my arm hurting?"

Pg 77, read a little every morning, make written lists of Conscious anger makers, try to pretend you aren't you, but your best friend....what would he say about...all of it? What would he see that you might not want to?
Every time I get an 'aha!' moment, it was always something hiding in plain sight.
I have notes from 25 years and I review them when I have a relapse...it is so easy to see why I needed symptoms then...why do I need them now?

Think back through your personal journey with this crap...write about that too....the writing is just so the NOW you might get insight...Your own experience is what is gonna free you, we just share ours hoping to give you a nudge. I still believe that all of us are more or less similar. That is a GOOD thing when recovering from this. I was never so happy to be 'average'

hang in there bro.
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I appreciate you more than you know. I posted this on the other thread but in case you arent there, here is my question for you: I will do all the things you recommended. But I do have to ask this because its the one big thing that keeps me continually worried and keeps my thoughts going back to "structural issues". My range of motion on my hips, IT bands is AWFUL. For example I can only spread my legs to maybe a 45 degree angle at MAX, or if I lay on my back and put my knees together and just let them fall to one side or the other, the pain that i feel in the hip joints is bizarre and does not feel at ALL like its muscular, tendon, but rather like its bone on bone contact saying "NO DONT DO THAT". Its frightening, and unnerving and a daily reminder of my pain (even trying to get onto a bike or in a car causes this feeling of pain. If I kneel on my knees on the ground and push my hips even slightly forward, same thing, pain on both hip flexors immedietely and again, it doesnt feel like how my back felt when it had TMS. With my back it felt clearly like a seized muscle, not joint or bone pain. This feels different. And so Im trying to figure out how to deal with that and convince myself its TMS. Has anyone experienced this also?
 
I HIT baseballs all week, years round. One of the things I learned in the 'Back Pain Odyssey' was that I was Born with a congenital fusion. That means I have one less free vertebrae joint than most people; it explained my lack of mobility following through on my swing.
When I get into working on drills, playing and I reach the end of my mobility I just stop. Period. No Pain, no nothing. When I am having a TMS hip deal? Hurts like hell!!
I am not particularly limber considering all of the things I am involved in. I just came from crawling around on my knees on concrete for a few hours drywalling....and I am old with bony looking legs, but no pain.
Anytime my lack of mobility has coincided with pain, it has been TMS.

I am actually glad you brought this up because I AM having a TMS event so I am having to reflect on my experience and realize no matter how physical it looked it was always TMS...the time I couldn't straighter out my leg? The time I couldn't finish my swing (pain free)? The time Both feet felt and looked bruised and were killing me? BUT every single new thing? I always thought "OK..this is REAL...My back pain was TMS, but this __________ ? (fill in blank) ....this shit is REAL.....and then it wasn't. And then I was always left feeling foolish (and grateful) as something cued me to "Hey...wait a minute...this started right after/during _______ !"

sdiddy said:
If I kneel on my knees on the ground and push my hips even slightly forward
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Yeah..whatever muscle makes that action was the very beginning of my TMS odyssey....I couldn't bring my leg forward...I could force it but it took an heroic effort so I started walking by assisting my leg by grabbing my trouser. The 'leg lift' test is one of the ones they do ...even Sarno used it, but only to test the persons degree of TMS, not because he thought it meant anything ominous.
 
sdiddy said:
Has anyone experienced this also?
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Everything you are describing and @Baseball65 is describing, I have. And it’s WEIRD!!! So weird, it really freaked me out at first. But thats it, doing its job. The bigger and freakier the symptoms, the bigger your underlying emotional problem is. My mobility is shot along with my range of motion. Plus I have all the broken glass sensations Baseball describes and I can’t lift my left leg. (The longer you read on this website, the more people you will see with the same issues.)
 
Ok all im posting this to provide feedback and anything that may help us all. This is VERY wierd but after 2 years of TERRIBLE chronic constant shooting/mobility/throbbing/nerve/joint pain, the last two weeks have been a MASSIVE reduction in pain. Im talking 50%. For me this is completely without prescedent. I have even slept for the first time in 2 years because of the reduction in pain, most notably, the constant shooting, burning, throbbing pain in the tfl and the extreme tightness/soreness in the IT band. I do not have an answer as to what is helping but I want to give you my playbook and see if any resonates with you or helps you.

1. I did PRP in the hips about 6 weeks ago. Until 2 weeks ago I had felt no reduction in pain. The reduction happened literally almost overnight so that makes me think it wasnt the PRP. Im not an expert but it doesnt make sense that getting PRP is like a delayed release bomb that goes off in one night 5 weeks from the injection.
2. I started accessing this forum and read some sarno and got some hope from some of the stories here about similar hip pain. Meaning, I started for the first time saying "maybe this is more tms than i thought".
3. I started PT with a new therapist that is having me do more or less the same exercises (90/90 roations, stretches, the usual), BUT she has been doing cupping in the affected areas. Perhaps that is helping??
4. I started taking shilajit to lower cortisal about a month ago (from Purish).
5. Ive journaled a bit in the last month and do9ne some short meditations a few times a week (5 minutes).

Ok so thats it. Overall Im still dealing with plenty of stresses and anxieties in my life, but the biggest one was my chronic pain and what it "means" about the rest of my life. Suddenly, the pain damn near disappeared overnight. Now Im not saying there is NO pain and everything is fine. My body is hella tight in the morning, my mobility is still terrible (but better in the last 2 weeks), and yes it feels sore after yoga or walking a decent amount, but its not chronic and its not distracting. So what do you think is happening? I genuinely hope yall dont say the PRP because it would give me so much comfort knowing it was the other things, more TMS related. But bottom line is I had a massive breakthrough and really so grateful and feeling hopeful again!!!
 
Diana-M said:
Woohoo!!!! Fantastic news!!! I believe it’s from the TMS work you’re doing. Good for you!
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thanks for the response D. honestly im just so happy to feel some relief but i will admit the confusion of not knowing what transpired that made such a drastic change nearly overnight is the weird part. For example, is it possible it was the PRP? yes of course it is. Is it possible that the shilajit reduced my already high cortisol to a point where im not longer having elevated cortisol related body pain? sure. Is it possible its the cupping? possibly. But the DRASTIC change in such a short time still tells me its mostly TMS related. The things I mentioned above wouldnt activate in a single day, weeks later (I dont think). BUt I havent even done that much in terms of TMS therapy either, which is unusual as well. On one hand I wish I knew the exact formula that is helping. On the other hand, the hope and optimism I feel from getting a massive pain reduction is wonderful and truly makes me feel like we can conquer this.
 
Just wanted to give an update and get your take on this. As I mentioned earlier, my hip pain started to drastically subside a couple months ago, around the time when I posted this thread (highly doubt thats a coincidence). I did do PRP as well, but honestly I dont think it was that because the reduction in pain happened so fast.

I went to Japan and we walked a TON everyday and the hip and IT band pain came back pretty severely, but keep in mind I went from probably walking 2k steps a day in LA to 20k steps a day in Tokyo. So I imagine that kind of extreme change would be a lot for anyone.

But now that Im back, my lower back has seized up probably 3x in the last month alone. Its been a nightmare. Im hunched over, cant walk, cant sleep, I dont even understand whats going on. I always carry anxiety. but I wouldnt say I have more than normal, Id say if anything its less right now. I KNOW with 100% certainty its TMS. Im not even worried about anything phsyical. But knowing that still isnt allowing it to release. Been doing weekly therapy, stretching, but not sure what else to even do. How do you deal with this when you KNOW its TMS but it still wont go away?
 
Sometimes you just have to do the work. For me that means:

- Read and re-read Sarno (and other books0
- Read and re-read this forum (success stories and support threads)
- Journal or self-talk
- Listen to some podcasts
- Make evidence lists (or re-read some of your previous ones - looks like you have some new insights to add based on the above)
- Make light of it and do whatever you consider the opposite of catastrophizing

Good luck!
 
hi thanks for the response. the thing is i tried to read sarno but the book doesnt seem to talk much about what to actually do when an episode happens. i have ZERO doubt that this is TMS. the book in large part is educating people to believe their pain is TMS. im already there. Im not catastrophizing and dont think its anything physical at all. i know its some kind of stress induced muscle cramp/seizure. i have zero doubt about it. but it just wont release. can you perhaps guide me to a specific read that might help? I will do the other things you mentioned also. Thank you
 
sdiddy said:
Im hunched over, cant walk, cant sleep, I dont even understand whats going on. I always carry anxiety
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Hi, @sdiddy,
I’m in the same boat. It’s so hard! I’m focusing on healing my anxiety. Have you read Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes, MD? She explains how trapped you can be physically by chronic anxiety. It’s a short book. Many people on this forum swear by it. I also know some people have healed by meditating. That’s something you could look into. Personally, I believe we can get stuck in these anxiety loops after it’s all said and done and you’ve read Sarno and looked at all your rage, etc. sometimes I think your body is just too anxious. It’s kind of like a modern day nervous breakdown. I also found another phenomenal book called Beyond Anxiety by Martha Beck. It’s probably one of the best books I’ve read about how troubling our times are and how much impact they are having on us physically and what to do about it. Ultimately, TMS is anxiety so maybe this is a route to try.

Another thing I’m trying is Dr. David Hanscom’s App called DOC. It’s a self-directed course on how to change your brain’s relationship with chronic pain. Dr. Hanscom is a back surgeon who suffered from debilitating back pain for 15 years. He’s dedicated his life now to help other people heal the same way he healed. It’s really insightful! Check it out. https://thedocjourney.com/ (Join Us on a Journey to Reduce Stress - The DOC Journey) He says there’s hope for everybody to get out of pain if you’re just persistent enough.
 
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thank you i ordered the audiobook and will give it a listen asap. i am definitely stuck with chronic anxiety my entire life. it probably started with the perfectionist conditioning from my childhood and now i cant stop trying to be perfect, not make mistakes, scared of tomorrow and the unexpected issues that will arise, and unable to forgive myself for my own mistakes from the past. i dont want to be like this. i lay in bed all night haunted by these thoughts. i barely sleep, wake up sore, tired, and in pain. this has been much of my life. i want to break the cycle so bad. some people think psychedelics is the answer. i see a therapist weekly, im trying my best to do the exercises, journaling, meditation, etc. im just so tired of living like this. i cant even imagine what a day with zero pain and a single night of actual sleep feels like. sigh.
 
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