Saver

of course there is a long history with me and mind-body stuff which is boring. The condensed version is I was told two years ago by two different physicians to quit my job, quit doing excessive forward bending in yoga and definitely stop riding my road bike. Basically I could walk and they recommended painkillers on days when the pain was bad. Their diagnosis? Severe arthritis in my lower spine, 2 discs were “bad“, degenerative disc disease& spinal stenosis. All the drama of age related wear and tear. They told me I was not a candidate for any type of surgery and that I would just have to manage the pain. I was depressed, devastated, and have never felt so low in my life. (I am a very physically active person and my job of nearly 40 years is physical)very healthy for my age and this made me feel like an invalid. I talked to a friend who recommended their spine doctor and another friend told me about Dr. Sarno and his book. I listened to the audiobook and honestly my pain went from a chronic level of let’s say five down to like a three. At the same time I was into this book, I had an appointment with the third spinal Doctor who did an updated MRI and said he could not see anything that would be causing my pain. He also said “there is nothing wrong with your back, you have age related wear and tear, but I would give you no restrictions”. I was stunned of course but I was happy.I was also confused as the pain was still there. Incidentally, this was last February. Since then I have had chronic pain much more mild but definitely the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before falling asleep, I just recently experienced an acute attack of pain and am managing that how I always did with mild over-the-counter ibuprofen and continued movement. The idea that this is repressed emotions is very hard for me to wrap my head around however, I definitely believe that is what is going on. The struggle is real. I have done a lot of journaling kind of going through childhood drama, etc. I’m sure I will navigate through this. It is just very difficult as I tend to focus on the physical and not the emotional.