You are the actor....

Today I was watching an interview with a politician. He discussed how in life today, many people feel like they are very boxed in: emotionally and in reality. They get up, shower and eat, take the transit or drive to work...do their work, come home and take care of what needs to be cared for and sleep only to get up and do it again.
It's routine.
There appears to be no room for enjoyment, no room to break free from feeling like a hamster on a treadmill.

He reminded us that we are the actors in our lives: that this construct is what is holding us back physically, emotionally and often in reality - and that we, the actors are actually in control and not the situation we find ourselves in. He suggested that we do have space to make small changes, and sometimes even big and what feels like "frightening" changes to gain more autonomy and agency in our lives because we are the actor: we are the person that can make the change. The change can't happen when we simply sit back and let the constructs of what holds us back, change.

This is victimization and it happens in many areas of our lives, and he suggests it happens and becomes entrenched in us as a feeling of helplessness far before we sense the pain of this helplessness.

Of course his terms were in the social fabric of our lives and how we live it, but it fits very well into our mental state and how we live our lives too, and it seems to be a very prominent aspect in the lives of people with TMS. Sometimes we only really notice it is apparent in our lives when we have pain, and then react to the situation we find ourselves in - which leads us to TMS and beginning to realize that it is really our thoughts and emotions: obvious or buried that have brought us to this point.

So my question is: now that you recognize you have TMS, do you also recognize the other ways in your life, besides your pain and symptoms that you have felt very "boxed in" - like you have had no choice, and that things have just "happened" to you, that you have had a bad lot in life, that "everything" bad happens to you, that you are often angry at the way others: eg. Doctors, politicians, teachers, family, society, co-workers etc. have treated you - and that you hold resentments here (can't get over that anger). How have you felt like the actor in your life: like you could step out and actually do something about these things?

 

Hi, Cactus,
Great post and questions! Sometimes I feel like a victim, and then I realize that the more I change myself it will change everything and everyone around me. I’m the answer. Not somebody else. And this realization is sobering but also hopeful and empowering.