Thank you for you reply back cactusflower.
I have read 2 books of dr Sarno as well as the great pain Deception. I am not new to tms I found out about it just a little over a year. But, I haven't been consistent in doing the work as there are so many methods out and about that I have been very confused.
Thank you for the video I will watch it today.
How do we overcome the fear? I do not know how to get my emotions out. I have recently found out through a lot of reading that I have cptsd. Emotional and physical neglect from both parent, a narcissist dad and an ex partner who was also a narcissist. I don't know how many people have managed to recover from also having cptsd. I know the symptoms are all the same but the facial symptom causes me alot of anxiety at the moment.
Thank you
You have asked some excellent questions!
Reflect on your TMS education and reading (often our TMS brains find it hard to accept some of the things we've read). Part of the situation is accepting our current state of sensations. The Great Pain Deception is very much about this. Steve O had to accept his current physical and emotional sensations and work through them (he chose a pretty gnarly way!). The symptoms of fear and anxiety are very similar to the physical sensations you feel in your body - they are ALL physical. Learn to begin recognizing the sensations of fear and anxiety; how your body reacts. Now notice what your mind things. Remind yourself that thoughts are not real, they are just thoughts! Similarly, sensations are just that - sensations. They don't always mean something other than that your nervous system is disregulated. Dr. Sarno teaches us that we have nothing to fear, that the sensations are benign and only a reflection of the chemical state (he interpreted this as oxygen, but we now know it's a chemical reaction) of our physical being in relation to our nervous system.
Fighting fear and anxiety seems daunting when you state it that way. Why not reframe this idea to one of feeling safe. We now know that the chemicals in our body elevate with a heightened nervous system and we actually feel these as the sensations of anxiety and fear....understanding the simple physical reaction takes some of the heavy weight of responsibility from our shoulders to "solve" the state we are in.
Accept.
Accept that the physical sensations of fear and anxiety are normal. TMS folks have most often learned that it's "safer" not to feel any sensations or emotions and that keeps us small and even more fearful. I kept repeating "THIS IS NORMAL" every time I felt my heart race, or my hands get clammy or the feeling of dread washing over me. Don't push these sensations or "feelings" away. Let them wash over you in a wave and remind yourself these are normal sensations. Eventually you'll be able to sense them safely without even having a thought about them or need to remind yourself they are normal.
Sensing emotions safely is quite similar. I literally had to tell myself repeatedly that having ANY emotion: negative or positive is part of the human experience and is normal. I was raised that feeling anything would negatively impact others around me....ha! What a crock of bull s*it! Once this sinks in, it's pretty freeing. Nobody can read your mind (and you probably can't read anyone else either, even if your brain thinks it can). So once again, when you begin to sense (for me it was thinking) that you might be feeling an emotion, let it wash over you. Notice your body's reaction and marvel in how it naturally knows what to do. Then notice that it simply passes and you are fine.
If you have not yet read Claire Weekes Hope and Help For Your Nerves, I suggest you do. You'll recognize how in line with Sarno her ideas were and how you can utilize her methods for dealing fear and also with repetitive negative thoughts (these are the type of thoughts that most often fuel fear.
CPTSD is another layer of emotional "stuff" you'll need to break through. It can be tough to do this on your own. You may find that you need more support, and that's perfectly fine. My suggestion is to look for psychological help either with a TMS psychiatrist/psychologist (someone who is merely a TMS coach will not have the skills and training to help you with CPTSD) or find a method of psychology which is mind/body relegated and specifically developed to help with this set of symptoms eg. ISDTP, EMDR or Internal Family Systems.
How do you recover from CPTSD...once again, you learn to accept the things that trigger you, and with kindness and patience you will learn methods which help regulate your nervous system and know that when things come up for you, that what you are dealing with will be temporary and that you'll feel more like yourself again when you put into place the things that help center you and help you feel safe by recognizing that you have come a long way (eg. your partner is now an EX!) and have managed so far.
We're here to help you sort things out along your journey!
